October 12th, 2012

Good Week/Bad Week: Health & Safety Update

It can only get better from here on in, surely?


Stalker Stop Press: Clint Dempsey is interested in fishing. According to a certain newspaper, this means he may be found in the proximity of the River Lea on some mornings, so dust off your scuba masks, get the relevant vaccinations and jump on in!**

Improved & Insulting: Facial hair outbreaks aside, there is some good news coming out of Barca this week. Carles Puyol has had the cast removed from his dislocated elbow and replaced with a Robocop style ‘articulated splint’. This gives him greater mobility in his arm and us the opportunity to consider the term ‘articulated split’ as an insult. We’ll try it in the bar tonight & come back to you.

Poldi n’ Parlour: Speaking of impenetrable dialects, here’s former Arsenal midfielder Ray Parlour teaching a vaguely bewildered but increasingly enthusiastic Lukas Podolski how to speak cockney rhyming slang. Winning!



Pique’s Pornstache: You’re going to be a father, for goodness sake! You better get that petrifying porn-stache pout off your face before the kid sees it & is traumatised for life!

Image: Twitter.

Driving For Footballers, Still Dangerous: Although this time, we can’t blame stupidity for a crash. Low blood sugar, actually.

Witter Watter: We’re suffering from Twitter fatigue. Or maybe it’s media fatigue. Either way, we’re finding it tough to get wound up about Ryan Bertrand responding to critics who were mocking him for pulling out of the England squad with a ‘sore throat’. Our delicate ears & eyes cannot cope with such annoyances week in, week out. Ya heard, Kickettes?


** A reminder of our Heath & Safety Policy: Kickette take no responsibility for any diseases, disasters or embarrassment experienced as a result of information supplied on this site. We’ve got enough of those to deal with in our own lives.

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27 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Health & Safety Update”

  1. Raremathew says:

    Good and Bad weeks are well presented by the author and the topic of health is nicely merged with the subject as well.

  2. Mila says:

    Why is it that good looking man always make bad choices when it comes to facial hair? Why hasn't Shakira stepped in and explained to him the benefits of shaving? (looking sexy vs. looking sort of like my dad)

  3. Estelle says:

    It's impossible not to smile after seeing Poldi smiles. Impossoble.

  4. black widow says:

    i'm not diabetic, but i have moderate hypoglycaemia and really feel for vukcevic. i blacked out behind the wheel when i was a teenager, but luckily was able to sort-of pull over to the side of the road and avoid any collision. i really hope for the best for him and his family.

  5. Loninha - Brasil says:

    Sometimes the Pique gives me an image that is not happy with being a father, or a father of a son of Shakira! Unfortunately that's it! Sorry guys!!

  6. Loninha - Brasil says:

    Lukas always a cutie!

  7. HiL says:

    POLDI <3

  8. rachael says:

    Really hope Boris pulls through

  9. IrishBlue says:

    Re the moustache: I've seen worse, Im not put off and that man is sexy. End of.

    Right, now time for me to settle down and watch my Boys in Green get ass whipped by the Germans. Woo hoo…..:-

    • IrishBlue says:

      That was painful to watch :-(

      • Sergz says:

        I rooted for you! And so did most of my pub (which is an Irish pub, heh).

      • Kristina says:

        I guess we (the Swedes I mean) are in for the same treatment on tuesday…

        • IrishBlue says:

          Probably not as severe a thrashing as they did to us but yup, them Germans are on fire. Damn.

          We are awful though, anything other than a heavy loss would have been a miracle.

          • Kristina says:

            Well, we barely managed a win against the Färö Islands so I'm not very optimistic right now ;) .

  10. Gladys says:

    That's so sad about Boris Vukcevic's car crash and that it was because he's diabetic. And here everyone thought it was probably yet another drunk footballer driving recklessly. So terrible. And it sounds like he's not really improving. I wish him and his family all the best.

    • anna says:

      Yes, it's really sad. 2 weeks later and he's still in critical condition… :(

    • Deb Stimson says:

      I just read a story about how fish oil was credited with a miraculous recovery from a TBI in another case. The kid's recovery was very doubtful so the parents were willing to give it a shot. Apparently, the doctors were reluctant to try it but finally did at the parent's insistence. Even the doctor's are amazed at his remarkable recovery, although, of course, they are still reluctant to credit it to fish oil. Apparently, it's worked with other TBIs too.

      Anyway, wonder if they'll try it here. Definitely can't hurt.

  11. [...] Good Week/Bad Week: Health & Safety Update – Kickette [...]

  12. darkchild says:

    Lukas Podolski is so adorable!

  13. Kristina says:

    I think Pique, pornstache aside, is practising his "totally exhausted from carrying baby around all nigh"-look. It suits him.

  14. dancingapple says:

    I'm really digging both Pique's facial expression and the pornstache so I'm going to go hide in my little corner of shame now.

    • Kristina says:

      I don't really like his pornstache, but I love that someone does :) .

    • Gladys says:

      I sort of like that he looks a bit like a WWI RAF fighter pilot…ok, so maybe I'm stretching things…but put him in a weird period costume and he's rather dashing. ;)

      • dancingapple says:

        This is a brilliant insight and makes me feel less ashamed because it's historical! And dashing!

      • Rue says:

        he does to me too! Or kinda like Brad Pitt's character in Inglorius Bastards! *whispers* I actually ike him better this way

      • Tashinka says:

        So glad the others have outed themselves on the matter… it makes me feel better to find myself in the same position. *blush*