October 12th, 2012
Good Week/Bad Week: Health & Safety Update
It can only get better from here on in, surely?
Stalker Stop Press: Clint Dempsey is interested in fishing. According to a certain newspaper, this means he may be found in the proximity of the River Lea on some mornings, so dust off your scuba masks, get the relevant vaccinations and jump on in!**
Improved & Insulting: Facial hair outbreaks aside, there is some good news coming out of Barca this week. Carles Puyol has had the cast removed from his dislocated elbow and replaced with a Robocop style ‘articulated splint’. This gives him greater mobility in his arm and us the opportunity to consider the term ‘articulated split’ as an insult. We’ll try it in the bar tonight & come back to you.
Poldi n’ Parlour: Speaking of impenetrable dialects, here’s former Arsenal midfielder Ray Parlour teaching a vaguely bewildered but increasingly enthusiastic Lukas Podolski how to speak cockney rhyming slang. Winning!
Driving For Footballers, Still Dangerous: Although this time, we can’t blame stupidity for a crash. Low blood sugar, actually.
Witter Watter: We’re suffering from Twitter fatigue. Or maybe it’s media fatigue. Either way, we’re finding it tough to get wound up about Ryan Bertrand responding to critics who were mocking him for pulling out of the England squad with a ‘sore throat’. Our delicate ears & eyes cannot cope with such annoyances week in, week out. Ya heard, Kickettes?
** A reminder of our Heath & Safety Policy: Kickette take no responsibility for any diseases, disasters or embarrassment experienced as a result of information supplied on this site. We’ve got enough of those to deal with in our own lives.