November 11th, 2011
Good Week/Bad Week: Honours & Outfits
You’ll find Guti in the Bad Week section. Like you didn’t already know. Image: Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images Europe.
Your favourite things this week included Frankie Sandford (style reasons), Olivier Giroud (nefarious reasons) and the ill-thought out and totally unlikely possibility of a Kickette Book Club (spiteful reasons).
Your goodwill did not extend as far as Irina Shayk, though. Or her diamond.
Image: Richard Heathcote/Getty Images Europe.
Lest We Forget: Sir Alex Ferguson was given his own stand at Old Trafford last weekend – a tribute to his 25 year tenure as manager of Manchester United. The former North stand will now be known as the Sir Alex Ferguson Stand, but we have no news as to whether each seat will be fitted with it’s own hairdryer to enhance ‘the experience’.
Un-Brek-Able: Is there anyone out there who hasn’t experienced the electric pulses of fear and lust that accompany a glimpse of FC Dallas midfielder Brek Shea? Well, if ya haven’t, now’s your chance, as the blond donkey botherer will be taking his rightful place among the Arsenal Adorkables next week for a bit of training. Heaven help us if he and Marouane Chamakh hit it off over the hair gel.
He’s Gonna Need A Bigger Shelf: Xavi Hernandez received the UEFA International Centurion award this morning, but sadly for anyone who isn’t a Barcelona/Spain fan, it wasn’t because he has reached one hundred-years-old and is about to retire. No, the midfielder has broken the one hundred cap barrier, and was honoured at a special lunch, also attended by fellow centurion Iker Casillas. England fans? You can only hope he won’t celebrate with a hat-trick.
Guti Looty: Guti had his photo taken at the premiere of ‘Cinco Metros Cuadrado’ last night. Unfortunately, his personal dresser has been imprisoned for crimes against fashion once again, so he was forced to assemble his outfit himself. From the local clothing bank.
Plausible Deniability. Again: The Manchester United mistranslation menace has been hard at work once again – with ‘keeper Thomas Kuszczak the latest player forced to issue a hasty denial. Kuszczak, who hasn’t played for United all season, reportedly stated in an interview with Polish newspaper Superexpress that he “has become a slave in Manchester“. Words always likely to be rapturously received, no matter who utters them. Or not, as the case may be.
Cab Clot: Sunderland defender Titus Bramble appeared at Teesside Magistrates Court yesterday, where he denied two counts of sexual assault. The charges relate to incidents back in September, where Bramble was first accused of grabbing a woman’s backside in a nightclub and then putting another woman’s hand on his groin while in the back of a cab. There will be another hearing on January 5th.
Kickette Book Club, indeed. Half of us still struggle to follow the instructions on a pop tart packet.