September 30th, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Lies, Allies & Neuer’s Statistics

Well, this is awkward. Image: REUTERS/Ina Fassbender.


Doin’ It Like A Dude: We’ve enjoyed watching Manuel Neuer respond with quiet dignity to his status as public enemy number one in Germany. You know, all the hating at Schalke because he left them followed up by the hating at Bayern Munich because he signed for them. So it gives us even more pleasure to tell you the cute ass keeper will rack up 1000 minutes of clean sheet-ery if Bayern don’t concede against Hoffenheim on Saturday. Mama was right, Kickettes. Revenge IS a dish best served cold. You know, like borscht.

Going on and on: Carlos Tevez hasn’t been inundated with support since his altercation with boss Roberto Mancini this week, but when you’ve got a Ginger Ninja on your side, who needs it? Paul Scholes, who as a former Manchester United midfielder and team-mate of Tevs, is better placed than most to comment, has said ‘I know Carlos quite well. He’s a player who wants to be playing, when he’s a sub, it will be killing him.’ Which seems to support Tevez assertion that it was all a big misunderstanding. Think on.

…and on: Speaking of long and boring sagas, Iker Casillas has once again been forced to deny rumours of bickering between himself and Cristiano Ronaldo, this time before Real Madrid’s Champions League match with Ajax midweek. San Iker challenged the reporter who questioned him on the rumoured punch up by saying ‘Where are the photos? We would love to see it.’ Yup, so would we, Iker.



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Ooh, that’s not what we’ve come to know and love you for, Mr B!

Bad Boy Beckerman: It seems that even the most lovely of dudes can’t cope with the pressure of recognition by the world’s leading self-promotion football fluff site. Kyle Beckerman lost the plot completely during Real Salt Lake’s 3-0 defeat to Chicago Fire this week, headbutting the Fire’s Daniel Paladini after Paladini shoved him in the back. We’ll try to forgive him though, on the basis that he lifts his shirt and gives us some ab tatts on 0:58.

Decorum 101: Let us just say it would be wrong of us to criticise a person for getting so drunk they can’t tell the difference between a minicab and a dumpster. So we will present without judgement the news that budget WAG Nicola McLean made exactly that error after a few too many Ribenas at the post Inside Soap Awards ‘do last Monday. Stop sniggering at the back!

And finally: The absurdity of existing legislation on base layers was brought into sharp focus this week by a referee who sent off five players and a manager… for wearing the wrong colour undershorts. Apparently, FA Rule 4 states ’If thermal undershorts are worn, they must be the same main colour as the  shorts.’ Some of the Bath City youth side committed the heinous act of wearing white base layers under red shorts and were summarily dismissed. Sorry. But this is awesome.


Right, it’s that time of year again, folks! Grab your best and most stylish combat equipment and head on over to the blissful environs of the Cosmopolitan UK website, where you can vote for us to be crowned the most brilliant thing ever in the history of universe. Or at least Best Celebrity Blog, which we won last year. Post haste, Kickettes! Voting closes at 9am on 17th October.

We even promise to try and remember there’s a ‘do’ this year. Y’know. Just in case.

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21 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Lies, Allies & Neuer’s Statistics”

  1. jocuri says:

    Today has beyond any doubt been a reasonably dismal day for Nintendo employees, shareholders and fans alike. As we tend to discovered earlier in the day, Nintendo square measure financially not during a sensible place. With Satoru Iwata later adding that he has no intention of stepping down. Nintendo Feed takes an instant to explore Nintendo's options currently, where is that the way forward? Nintendo ought to create some pretty forceful amendment.

  2. mamaly says:

    Real Madrid fine Jose Mourinho for failing to wear official club suit

    He did'nt open his mouth or ( allegedly) poke someone in the eye.

    What more do you want, and he just won a CL-match and the league match 4-0.

  3. mata says:

    I was so pleased to see all the love Mancini was getting from the fans on Saturday! It must have been a bit of sunshine in a difficult week. And shame on Scholes – how can any player suggest that another player is justified for not going on the pitch because he's disappointed at not playing, that's just absurd! Adam J admitted his disappointment at not being selected against Bayern, and dealt with it like a real pro – by working his butt off when his manager did select him on Saturday so that he will get picked next time.

    I just don't get the attitude of Bayern fans. You'd think they'd be thrilled to have someone as good (and photogenic) as Mr. N in goal!

  4. ChefDi says:

    Dearest Kickette HQ ~

    I wasn't able to find where to vote for you for the 2011 Cosmo award, is it too soon/are the nominations not in yet? Or is it just a lame operator error on my part (most possibly) ~ please help?

    Also, is it possible to *not* leave your site when we click on a link that you so generously provide for us? I love reading further but would prefer that I don't leave your site in the process!

    Thank you so much ~ sending hugs and standing ovations from Los Angeles!

  5. Agnes Wonka says:

    The press want to see a fight over Iker and CR coz that "sells".

    I just don't get the big deal about undershorts!

  6. Ramosita says:

    OMG I saw the Real bbq! So in love such hotness!

  7. lydia says:

    Ok, did anyone see that mou threw his players a BBQ? I saw it on, and just had to share :) oh the mental pictures!

  8. Guest says:

    Okay, I'm not an RSL fan, but those ab tatts are awesome Mr. Beckerman. You're continuing to grow on me as a member of the USMNT.

  9. Mrs. Q.Borri says:

    Poor Neur! people are getting all over the top because he left Schalke and then the people over Bayern are hatting on him too..! Its like they need to get their thoughts together. Poor him!

    Does Beckerman get tired of missing so many games because of all the red cards? Gosh 47 in 121 games is a lot! :0

    The Tevez… thats an ongoing story, without an end so far. Like AC_USA said -the coach is the boss, not you :) -

    • Audrey says:

      47 reds in 121 games? Where did you see that?
      That seemed really high to me, so I checked MLS's stats.
      He's had 2 straight reds and 59 yellows in his 269 MLS games.
      It didn't say how many of the yellows were double yellows and thus reds, but the absolute maximum of double yellow sending offs from 59 yellow cards would be 29. So add the 2 straight reds in and that's 31 ejections in 269 games, and that's assuming that half of his yellows were second yellows.

      • Mrs. Q.Borri says:

        I heard it in the video here. The commentator said 47 straight red cards in a 121 games. But if you said that you check the stats, then the commentator most have got it wrong… Or he ment something else.

        But thank you for correcting me! :D apreciatte it!

        • Audrey says:

          OK, I turned the sound on and watched the video. The commentator said that the *referee* had handed out his 47th red in 121 games, not that Beckerman had received his 47th red in 121 games. I can understand your confusion! But yeah, Beckerman's only gotten 2 straight reds in his entire MLS career and this was his first one since 2003.

  10. rainstarmcgee says:

    All Neuer has had to do so far during games is bromance with Badstuber… gusta

  11. Kristina says:

    I was avoiding all the Manuel Neuer drama; I felt so bad for him because of how badly fans on both sides were treating him, but SWEET CHRIST IN A CROP TOP WHAT IS WRONG WITH SCHALKE FANS? Really? Judas? You're going to compare Neuer going to a different team to the betrayal and killing of the son of god? Talk about a white whine: nothing football related is that serious, unless we're talking about Andrés Escobar.

  12. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Tevez actions cant be defended!

    I love my capi! He is soo cute, yes we rather see a video not pictureI so let's assume these "two" had problems, they won't have a big fight, I totally picture a phase out or cris keeping Marcelo and pepe from talking to ikerr and making fun of iker plaid shirts and palness, Ramos bullying cris around, yeah and making fun of his hats and " gucci" collection!
    See I can write news from my imagination too..
    The source which published the news issued an apologize regarding the rumor…
    I am getting bored with my clubs being subject of stupid rumors…

    • AC_USA says:

      I am a city fan but my heart just cant take Carlos any more. A true player does what is best for the team. If the coach thinks you deserve 90 minutes, go on and play 90 minutes. If he thinks you deserve 45, play 45. Coach is the boss, not you. :)

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        :) I know, I will be angry if it was one of my Madrid boys doing so! Nothing justified not entering a field to do your job, I actually gets when a player feels angry when he subbed out, it means he is willing or thinks he can do better, the sub out thing is understandable by fans, I respect Dzeko for apologizing too..

        • DebS says:

          Sarah, I can't imagine any of our guys doing that, especially knowing that 1) Mou will not stand for that and 2) they know there's always someone waiting in the wings to take their spot.

          I'm glad Mancini took the same stance. There were other players & coaches on the bench so if what Mancini said is true, Tevez will have a hard time defending his "misunderstanding" excuse.

  13. Deanna says:

    Congrats to Silva for being Barclay's Premiere League player of the month!