September 30th, 2011
Good Week/Bad Week: Lies, Allies & Neuer’s Statistics
Well, this is awkward. Image: REUTERS/Ina Fassbender.
Doin’ It Like A Dude: We’ve enjoyed watching Manuel Neuer respond with quiet dignity to his status as public enemy number one in Germany. You know, all the hating at Schalke because he left them followed up by the hating at Bayern Munich because he signed for them. So it gives us even more pleasure to tell you the cute ass keeper will rack up 1000 minutes of clean sheet-ery if Bayern don’t concede against Hoffenheim on Saturday. Mama was right, Kickettes. Revenge IS a dish best served cold. You know, like borscht.
Going on and on: Carlos Tevez hasn’t been inundated with support since his altercation with boss Roberto Mancini this week, but when you’ve got a Ginger Ninja on your side, who needs it? Paul Scholes, who as a former Manchester United midfielder and team-mate of Tevs, is better placed than most to comment, has said ‘I know Carlos quite well. He’s a player who wants to be playing, when he’s a sub, it will be killing him.’ Which seems to support Tevez assertion that it was all a big misunderstanding. Think on.
…and on: Speaking of long and boring sagas, Iker Casillas has once again been forced to deny rumours of bickering between himself and Cristiano Ronaldo, this time before Real Madrid’s Champions League match with Ajax midweek. San Iker challenged the reporter who questioned him on the rumoured punch up by saying ‘Where are the photos? We would love to see it.’ Yup, so would we, Iker.
Ooh, that’s not what we’ve come to know and love you for, Mr B!
Bad Boy Beckerman: It seems that even the most lovely of dudes can’t cope with the pressure of recognition by the world’s leading
self-promotion football fluff site. Kyle Beckerman lost the plot completely during Real Salt Lake’s 3-0 defeat to Chicago Fire this week, headbutting the Fire’s Daniel Paladini after Paladini shoved him in the back. We’ll try to forgive him though, on the basis that he lifts his shirt and gives us some ab tatts on 0:58.
Decorum 101: Let us just say it would be wrong of us to criticise a person for getting so drunk they can’t tell the difference between a minicab and a dumpster. So we will present without judgement the news that budget WAG Nicola McLean made exactly that error after a few too many Ribenas at the post Inside Soap Awards ‘do last Monday. Stop sniggering at the back!
And finally: The absurdity of existing legislation on base layers was brought into sharp focus this week by a referee who sent off five players and a manager… for wearing the wrong colour undershorts. Apparently, FA Rule 4 states ’If thermal undershorts are worn, they must be the same main colour as the shorts.’ Some of the Bath City youth side committed the heinous act of wearing white base layers under red shorts and were summarily dismissed. Sorry. But this is awesome.
Right, it’s that time of year again, folks! Grab your best and most stylish combat equipment and head on over to the blissful environs of the Cosmopolitan UK website, where you can vote for us to be crowned the most brilliant thing ever in the history of universe. Or at least Best Celebrity Blog, which we won last year. Post haste, Kickettes! Voting closes at 9am on 17th October.
We even promise to try and remember there’s a ‘do’ this year. Y’know. Just in case.