January 6th, 2012

Good Week/Bad Week: Losses, Gains & Dysfunctional Brains

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We’re quite proud of ourselves this week. Despite over-indulging a touch during the holidays, we still managed to bring the goods to the table. They included David Beckham in a state of undress, Demba Ba’s favourite snack item, the Football Power Couple of the Year results and a thorough examination of aesthetic prejudices in football.

Not bad when you consider we were only fully conscious from Thursday onwards.


Just for the record, we have no issue with tight garment-age when it is clinging to a form like Andy’s (left). Image via sellsgoalkeeping.

Count Us In: We intend to ‘make it count‘ this year by keeping a list of how many donuts we consume in a week. Fortunately for Nike, their athletes (including Jack Wilshere, Rio Ferdinand & Paula Radcliffe) do not share our facetious bent and consequently will probably have a much healthier year.

A Bit Tight?: A big thank you to UGG boot botherer Darren Bent for alerting us to a potential new target in Aston Villa team-mate Andy Marshall. In a recent interview with the UK edition of FHM mag, Bent was discussing his penchant for alarming footwear when he mentioned that Marshall gets “buried” on a daily basis for wearing “tight gear” and “flared jeans”. We will, of course, study evidence of this crime before coming to a decision, but so far, so good (above).

Her Loss, Our Gain: Congratulations to Alex Gerrard, who revealed in her OK! magazine column that she lost a total of 2 stone in 7 weeks after the birth of baby Lourdes. Unfortunately, her achievement has been dwarfed by that of our staffers, one of whom managed to gain a stone during the two week festive period. Beat that, y’all!



Veliče Šumulikoski AKA Drunken Buffoon of Struga. Image: YURI KADOBNOV/AFP/Getty Images.

Bad Breath Test: Macedonia skipper Veliče Šumulikoski has scuppered Nicklas Bendtner’s attempt to claim the ‘Most Arrests in a Calender Year‘ footballers award, by getting himself charged with two counts of public misconduct.  Šumulikoski, who currently plays for Russian side Sibir Novosibirsk, allegedly attacked a man while drunk in hometown Struga, then verbally abused police officers and refused to take a breath test. Great work, Veliče.

Self-Help Shout Out: The reliability of Joey Barton’s short memory has been thrown into doubt this week, after he tweeted complaints about his red card vs. Norwich. The QPR midfielder called out fellow professionals who ‘playact’ for favourable refereeing decisions, failing to recall his own embarrassing display after a clash with Gervinho when Newcastle played Arsenal last year. Perhaps he should add a memory improvement manual to his extensive reading list?

There’s Always One: Barnsley fans were condemned on Twitter this week after apparently chanting about the recent death of Billy Sharp’s baby son Luey. Billy, who plays for Doncaster Rovers and scored during a match between the two sides on Monday, said he didn’t hear anything, but said of those responsible, “I hope you’re proud of yourself. I can’t imagine anyone being so disrespectful“. A Barnsley fan confirmed on a forum that a chant was indeed aimed at the player, but it was one individual who was soon “put in his place” and in no way represents the rest of the fans. Well said.


Answers to yesterday’s QOTD Quiz Game:

A) “I’m all about hair in 2012″ — Louise Redknapp speaking to the Liverpool Echo.

B) “…we’re made in cold snow. We’re very resilient.” — Irina Shayk’s latest interview for Esquire

C) “Every woman needs a great dress. It should flatter from every angle, standing and sitting.” — Victoria Beckham

D) “Geography’s not my strong point im not even quite sure where we live?” — Lauren Neal (Jack Wilshere’s baby momma) on Twitter

E) “With them, I have learned to value life.” — Mamen Sanchez speaking about her work with the homeless in Spain

F) “I know everyone has a past, but to me, that’s the lowest of low.” — Nicola McClean talking about her new Celebrity Big Brother housemate

G) “About ten of our friends came with us and we had gorgeous food.” — Alex Gerrard in her OK! column this week

H) “Yes, it is time to have cola-cao and curl up under a bed if you are in Spain.” — Carlota Ruiz on Twitter

I) “I don’t diet. Honest.” — Abbey Clancy Crouch speaking to Fabulous magazine

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12 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Losses, Gains & Dysfunctional Brains”

  1. April says:

    I hear word that Torres got a haircut. Without being able to see it and confirm, if it is true, I'm gonna go ahead and put that in the category of "good week". At least until I see it and if it is horrendous :)

    I suppose I am pretty happy that I could only identify all of one of the WAG comments.

  2. littlegreenpea says:

    They should make another version of the 'makeitcount' nike ad with all of the american athletes sponsored by nike!
    Congrats to Billy Sharp for being strong, and hopefully this celebrity big brother stuff will stay out of the news, because I don't think I can take any more WAG drama at this point.

  3. Alone- Brazil says:

    are just a bunch of cows, who only care about their appearance and leave their children with nannies aside, only care about the children when they ask for a divorce! Fat pension and life of luxury is what matters!

  4. black widow says:

    i cannot tell you the relief i feel knowing pastasauce DIDN'T make the comment about curling up in bed with a cuppa cola-cao (and a certain goalkeeper we all know and swoon over) …

  5. CRC says:

    The Mamen Sánchez quoted is a social worker with Cáritas; it says so in the article. If you were looking to quote Raúl’s wife, her name is Mamen Sanz, not Sánchez!

  6. Melaniee. says:

    i feel as though that most english wag's only care about fame. like what made these people so famous that they write columns in magazines or have like 10 fragrances. I'm not doubting their love for their husbands but i mean why can't they just stop worrying about their appearance because frankly not that many people care. do you guys remember like a couple days after giving birth she went strolling around shopping. that pissed me off because you have a new born baby and here you are shopping. i love normal wags and for me this includes shakira. even though she's a mega star, she's down to earth and does not concern herself with her fame but only when she does charity. people like alex gerrard are fame whores. I'm sure she's nice and all but she should shut up and prioritize her life. *end rant*

  7. Rachael says:

    Mamen Sanchez stands head and shoulders above the rest for class and intelligence. The only comment worth making or reading maybe the others should try some charity work to remind themselves there is a little more to life than hair, dresses, weight and food for goodness sake.

  8. mata says:

    Why is it such a wonderful thing for a new mother to lose 2 stone in 7 weeks? I would have thought it more important to breast feed, which means eating a very healthy but higher calorie diet, even if it does mean keeping some extra weight a little longer.

    • Gladys says:

      I recently read an article (I want to say in the NY Times but it was somewhere reputable) that said it is normal, reasonable, and healthy for a woman to take a year to return back to her normal weight after having a baby. It's celebrities like these who encourage women to starve themselves and have unrealistic expectations about their weight, even during pregnancy, when it's most dangerous to the mother and baby.

      • AC_USA says:

        Most of them have no brain cells at all, at least not living ones. All they care about is looks. Sadly enough thier kids are the least they worry about and that breaks my heart. Being pregnant is the biggest joy any woman can feel and no one should be starving during that time. :)

        • Maran says:

          But, for some breastfeeding means that the kilos just disappears. I have two kids and in both cases my surplus kilos, and more, were gone 4 months after giving birth. I was breastfeeding and ate like a horse. If I hadn't been eating virtually all the time I don't know how I would have looked.

          I don't know if it was the breastfeeding that actually did it, but it felt like it :) . I guess it could be my genes as well, but I have a lot of friends that didn't have any problems regaining their weight after being pregnant. And I promise you, I don't know any celebrities.