January 6th, 2012
Good Week/Bad Week: Losses, Gains & Dysfunctional Brains
We’re quite proud of ourselves this week. Despite over-indulging a touch during the holidays, we still managed to bring the goods to the table. They included David Beckham in a state of undress, Demba Ba’s favourite snack item, the Football Power Couple of the Year results and a thorough examination of aesthetic prejudices in football.
Not bad when you consider we were only fully conscious from Thursday onwards.
Just for the record, we have no issue with tight garment-age when it is clinging to a form like Andy’s (left). Image via sellsgoalkeeping.
Count Us In: We intend to ‘make it count‘ this year by keeping a list of how many donuts we consume in a week. Fortunately for Nike, their athletes (including Jack Wilshere, Rio Ferdinand & Paula Radcliffe) do not share our facetious bent and consequently will probably have a much healthier year.
A Bit Tight?: A big thank you to UGG boot botherer Darren Bent for alerting us to a potential new target in Aston Villa team-mate Andy Marshall. In a recent interview with the UK edition of FHM mag, Bent was discussing his penchant for alarming footwear when he mentioned that Marshall gets “buried” on a daily basis for wearing “tight gear” and “flared jeans”. We will, of course, study evidence of this crime before coming to a decision, but so far, so good (above).
Her Loss, Our Gain: Congratulations to Alex Gerrard, who revealed in her OK! magazine column that she lost a total of 2 stone in 7 weeks after the birth of baby Lourdes. Unfortunately, her achievement has been dwarfed by that of our staffers, one of whom managed to gain a stone during the two week festive period. Beat that, y’all!
Veliče Šumulikoski AKA Drunken Buffoon of Struga. Image: YURI KADOBNOV/AFP/Getty Images.
Bad Breath Test: Macedonia skipper Veliče Šumulikoski has scuppered Nicklas Bendtner’s attempt to claim the ‘Most Arrests in a Calender Year‘ footballers award, by getting himself charged with two counts of public misconduct. Šumulikoski, who currently plays for Russian side Sibir Novosibirsk, allegedly attacked a man while drunk in hometown Struga, then verbally abused police officers and refused to take a breath test. Great work, Veliče.
Self-Help Shout Out: The reliability of Joey Barton’s short memory has been thrown into doubt this week, after he tweeted complaints about his red card vs. Norwich. The QPR midfielder called out fellow professionals who ‘playact’ for favourable refereeing decisions, failing to recall his own embarrassing display after a clash with Gervinho when Newcastle played Arsenal last year. Perhaps he should add a memory improvement manual to his extensive reading list?
There’s Always One: Barnsley fans were condemned on Twitter this week after apparently chanting about the recent death of Billy Sharp’s baby son Luey. Billy, who plays for Doncaster Rovers and scored during a match between the two sides on Monday, said he didn’t hear anything, but said of those responsible, “I hope you’re proud of yourself. I can’t imagine anyone being so disrespectful“. A Barnsley fan confirmed on a forum that a chant was indeed aimed at the player, but it was one individual who was soon “put in his place” and in no way represents the rest of the fans. Well said.
Answers to yesterday’s QOTD Quiz Game:
A) “I’m all about hair in 2012″ — Louise Redknapp speaking to the Liverpool Echo.
B) “…we’re made in cold snow. We’re very resilient.” — Irina Shayk’s latest interview for Esquire
C) “Every woman needs a great dress. It should flatter from every angle, standing and sitting.” — Victoria Beckham
D) “Geography’s not my strong point im not even quite sure where we live?” — Lauren Neal (Jack Wilshere’s baby momma) on Twitter
E) “With them, I have learned to value life.” — Mamen Sanchez speaking about her work with the homeless in Spain
F) “I know everyone has a past, but to me, that’s the lowest of low.” — Nicola McClean talking about her new Celebrity Big Brother housemate
G) “About ten of our friends came with us and we had gorgeous food.” — Alex Gerrard in her OK! column this week
H) “Yes, it is time to have cola-cao and curl up under a bed if you are in Spain.” — Carlota Ruiz on Twitter
I) “I don’t diet. Honest.” — Abbey Clancy Crouch speaking to Fabulous magazine