August 25th, 2009

Good Week/Bad Week: Matrimony and Man-love

Pato

GOOD WEEK

Matrimony
Judging by the above photo, we’re going to go out on a limb and say that it’s probably a good week every week for Pato’s wife, Sthefany Brito.

Skinless chicken and broccoli
Matilda Mourinho stuck by her man through a second round of cheating rumors and avoided divorce. Silence may be golden, but being photographed in skimpy bikini whilst rockin’ a bod most 18 year-olds would be envious of is the best revenge.

The underdog
After losing his spot on the 2009 Kickette Elite XI first team, Iker Casillas is fighting back. Left off the pitch due to his lack of posing in his skanties often enough, this classically awkward yet speedo’d video is a great way to get himself reconsidered and back in the game.

Getting things done
Corinthians striker Ronaldo and girlfriend Bia Anthony are expecting baby number two just eight months after the birth of their daughter. Looks like Bia is on the “get it cranking” baby producing schedule. Might as well get all those sleepless nights and nappy changes out of the way in one never-ending four-year period.

Michela works the UGGs... again

BAD WEEK

Michela in her UGGS

Footwear
Oh, outfit monogamy, we do not support you. We know you’re supposed to be shopping your closet and all, but it would seem that Michela Quattrociocche, Liverpool’s newest WAG, just can’t quit the denim and Uggs combo. Even in the summer heat (or what passes for it in England, anyway). MQ’s repeat outfit performances ain’t proving her Italian fashionista worth and her Fendi handbag is begging for a break.  That faint sound we all hear is Alex laughing all the way to Cricket.

Brolesters
Back away from the Kaka, Cristiano. He’s happily married and we’re quite sure he’s already got a boyfriend in Jesus anyway. Ricky may be smiling now because your Dep-gel clues are subtle, but one slip of the man hand and it’s game over. Brolestation is a serious offense, so keep your murses where we can see them and we’ll let this one slide.

Inhabitants of Portugal
Nereida is in town to promote her latest smut mag appearance.  First, she got blanked by the world’s number one player (and playa), and now the nude models don’t want her either.   Forget swine flu, what about poisonous leaches? We suggest that all natives flee ASAP.

Yogi the bear
We can’t stop dreaming about our fave footballers. During last night’s beauty coma, we envisioned Nemanja Vidic strangling a grizzly with his bare hands just to protect his youngest, Stefan. Thankfully, Ana was not present. Kickettes with ninja-like photoshop skills please step forward. Our fantasy lives need you.

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15 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Matrimony and Man-love”

  1. c9 says:

    Really do love the yogi story, hehe!

  2. laz says:

    firstly, congrats to the expecting parents!

    on the cr and kaka bromance – the ron and roo bromance was better imo!

    and on she who must not be named – her 15 (extremely long) minutes of fame must surely be coming to an end by now, a new ons/fling will replace her tabloid tails soon (in fact the americans are already giving it a go –
    http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00026883.html (2nd vid) cr and Serena van der Woodsen hookup in barcelona? = funniest fictional hookup of the summer!)

  3. Kile says:

    I absolutely love that CR and Kaka are best friends now. This bromance is the BEST! I think CR can learn a lot from Kaka.

    Pato is just the cutest.

  4. aristeia says:

    Pato's tongue: sign me up for me pedo-therapy now, please.

    Mrs. Special, you go on w/ your bad self.

    Iker in speedos! Somehow this is shocking me, I don't know why…

    Well, congrats to Ronaldo & Bia.

    I see that Michela's going for the down-to-earth look, lol. I don't like the uggs on any day, but yeah… I noticed she had worn them on her 2nd day walking around and I was already waiting for another pair of shoes. Come on Michela, show us something!

    Ugh… step away from Ricky, CRon. Get too close and God will smite you.

    LOFL, Nereida is amazing. More!

    Your dream = made of awesome. If I was Corrine-like skilled w/ photoshop, I would make something for you. Alas, I am pathetic.

  5. Ella says:

    OMG, that look on C-ron's face is seriously making me weak in the knees. He's beautiful and I'm having dirty thoughts. :0 I'm glad to hear that whatsherface is continuing to get dissed everywhere she goes. And I still think Michela looks good, I'd wear that bag everyday if i had it too.

  6. Winnie says:

    come on Kickette!

    Cristiano's just wondering how he gets his eyebrows to look so "natural".

    maybe he's born with with,

    maybe it's Tweezerman!

    • Winnie says:

      and Kaka def needs to take some tanning lessons from Sergio Ramos…or even C. Ron for that matter.

  7. autumnmaple101 says:

    Ummm Iker looks divine as usual..could use a slight tan though he looks a little like a white chicken.

  8. Sara says:

    and IKER def should have been in the Kickette Elite XI first team!!! he is sooo beautiful!!!!

  9. Sara says:

    Pato looks soooo old in the picture!!!

  10. keziah says:

    Am I the only one who wants to see the kaka cristiano bromance actually happen! Keep up the charm cristiano, even kaka will come around :-)

  11. Fer_Lahm says:

    Patoooooooooooooooooo, I love him

  12. FootballerChick43-&q says:

    "Back away from the Kaka, Cristiano. He’s happily married and we’re quite sure he’s already got a boyfriend in Jesus anyway. Ricky may be smiling now because your Dep-gel clues are subtle, but one slip of the man hand and it’s game over. Brolestation is a serious offense, so keep your murses where we can see them and we’ll let this one slide."

    That whole entire paragraph is the greatest thing ever. Seriously. I am printing this out and posting this on my mirror. I think I laughed until I cried.

  13. Olya says:

    Why is Casillas so WHITE?!?!?!?!?!?

  14. Boston Red says:

    I almost don't know where to start here..

    Well done, Sthefany.

    I haven't even looked at the Elite XI yet. How dare I take a vacation when the Elite XI comes out?

    Let me tell you – I was in Manchester last week and it was cold. Not quite Uggs cold, but I don't really blame the girl.

    Excellent dream LOL Sadly, I have no photoshop skills.