October 9th, 2009

Good Week/Bad Week: Models and Music

Yoann Gourcuff

Yoann Gourcuff visits a children’s hospital in Ploemeur (good) but his leather jacket looks like pleather (bad). But he’s hot. Thus, his placement within the good week section.


Bitchfaces and cut-eyes
King of the side-eye, David Villa brought a new twist to his usual gaze of steel: the condescending shoulder tap. Poor Iker doesn’t stand a chance. Even more impressive is this cold steel look of utter (sexy) disgust given by Roy Keane when asked a question he very clearly doesn’t like. Delicious.

Nicolas Anelka decides his thighs need extra ventilation. Who are we to argue?

New England Revolution’s Taylor Twellman poses for his Cosmopolitan magazine Bachelor of the Year segment; Luca Toni shows some clothes with his gal Marta (why does she look like she’s been to Nicole Kidman’s derm?) and Cristiano Ronaldo is rumoured to be taking over from David Beckham as the new face of Armani. (Really? Gucci would make more sense, no? We’ll believe this one when we see it.)

Dodging musical bullets
A few years ago, David Beckham was slotted in to re-record John Barnes infamous rap from the classic footy tune, “World in Motion.” The merciful gods of musical intervention stepped in – and the lyrical throwdown of Becktastic proportions never happened.


Theo Walcott and Melanie SladeConvincing claims
Melanie Slade used to be a non-WAG WAG and we were all proud of her for it. Then she made a name for herself by doing bikini shoots and constantly harping on about just how non-WAGish she was. Her recent interview makes us feel thatshe doth protest too much for our liking.

Peasant classes
It’s never fun to be reminded of how many private jets or micro-dogs dressed in diamond-studded booties you could have access to if you’d only stuck to a clear and well-mapped out bag-a-baller strategy. In any case, there’s still hope. Put this footy rich-list to memory and get thee to the players’ lounge.

Blogging whilst sober
Let’s put this in simple terms: Julio Cesare needs to control his woman. Susana Werner cut loose on her blog saying she hopes Inter know what a great catch Julio is – or he’ll be going elsewhere. Of course, this wifey support is admirable – it’s great that she is so involved and passionate about her man. But there’s a time and a place. And that time and place is not in caps-lock on the web.

Crossing whatsherface
Hotel heiresses Paris Hilton and her brief dalliance with Cristiano Ronaldo has now somehow resulted in Paris being touted across the Spanish media as a scary voo-doo injury wizard employer. Nereida? It’s time to let go now.

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17 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Models and Music”

  1. Johnna says:

    LOVE the Roy Keane video. God I wish he was still playing for us, I miss that on the pitch.

    I swear, I hate Mel Slade a little more every day. Just admit to being a money grubbing WAG and get the eff over yourself.

  2. Ella says:

    If Melanie ever actually works as a physio, i’ll eat my favorite shoes. Yeah right. And if she misses going to the world cup for her tests, I’ll eat my cutest marc jacobs bag. puh-lease. she must think we’re stupid.

    Cristiano IS going to be the new armani model!!! Best. News. Ever.

  3. Susie says:

    Quote; a stare that could make Lucifer's blood run cold…


    How can any one not love Roy Keane?


  4. Riya says:

    Why is Mel getting annoying? She has a brain and is pursuing a degree. All the other WAGS are brainless women who think being a bright shade of tangerine is beautiful. I'm glad at least one footballer has enough sense to choose a respectable woman who has a real career path.

  5. Gigi Neville-Brown says:

    Keano is wealthier than SAF? WTF?

  6. Sarah says:

    What what what, Tony Wilson arranged for DBecks to redo John Barnes’s rap? Bwahahahaha! And hey, if Hooky was okay with it, who are the FA to say no? LOL

    Theo’s “non”WAG is getting a little annoying, but I love her outfit in that picture. I’d wear it.

  7. Nessa says:

    Yoann could wear a bin liner that he still would be hot !!

  8. c9 says:

    Cristiano and Armani yeah! Love the pic people.com has used for the article, hehe! Armani must be something good if Becks modeled for them all this time??!

    That vid of Roy oh my, scruffilicious!!

  9. NinyaC says:

    The sorcery thing about Ronaldo made my entire week.

    And if the Armani rumors are true, I have to admit I want to see a picture with Kakà :) )

  10. Meer. says:

    On Cris vs. Armani: Yes, please!

  11. Jaysus, Roy, just take me now . . . .

  12. I *love* that New Order song and I cannot fathom Becks doing John’s rap. He would ruin in. Thank goodness someone with some sense stepped in and put a stop to the insanity.

    Melanie Slade should just go shop or something and button it.

  13. jenny says:


    your iker (avec bitchface!)/yoann (at a children’s hospital no less!) double header has brightened up my day considerably! bless you!!

  14. Fer_Lahm says:

    Oh my God Yoann is amazing, *had a heart attack*

  15. FootballerChick43-&q says:

    The whole wizard-hired-to-injure-CRon thing is so hilarious.

    And why does every article mentioning short-shorts somehow end up with a picture of Lampsy? Really.

  16. Emily (Giggsy's says:

    Damn, Roy. That was HOT!!! Love it.

  17. Merel says:

    Armani sucks anyway so he can do as much Armani as he wants. As long as he stays away from the real designers, please.

    Melanie Slade will be waggish in a few years. Mark my words.