March 2nd, 2012

Good Week/Bad Week: Our Methods, Plus Some Madness

Image: REUTERS/Paulo Whitaker.

Let’s offer a hearty, handsy Kickette welcome to Chen ZhiZhao, who has just signed for Brazil side Corinthians.

Happy Friday, y’all!

GOOD WEEK

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Hey Man, Nice Shot: Spineless acts of retribution over perceived personal slights are a way of life at Kickette Towers. We therefore fully endorse Walter Gargano’s attempt to get Wesley Sneijder back for a dodgy tackle in Inter’s game vs. Napoli (above). If only we could be so accurate when throwing stationary at our colleagues.

Ladders & Lenses: Congrats to Norwegian TV station 2Sporten, who employed Kickette approved methods to get a glimpse  of Carlos Tevez’ first appearance in a City kit since his high profile return to the club. The reserve game vs. Preston was played behind closed doors, but reporters for the channel utilised ladders and telephoto lenses to snap the player in action. Not only that, but they wore great hats while doing it. Yay!

The Red Light District Working Class: Louis Saha has taken time out from his busy goal scoring schedule to explain to us why young, rich footballers are frequently tempted to use the services of prostitutes. Apparently, they’re petrified of being exposed in a kiss-n-tell, so prefer to pay because they’re assured of a professional’s silence. It usually works, too!

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BAD WEEK

Yep, this is more or less how we end up after a few hours on the town. She’ll fit in OK. Image: Dave Hogan/Getty Images.

The Blame Game: Congrats(?) to Philadelphia Union, whose pre-season exhibition match vs. AD Belen in Costa Rica turned into an exhibition fist fight after a dodgy tackle or ten. The players of AD Belen have claimed that the Union players were overly physical, while midfielder José Luis Lopez went further, blaming the “immature attitude of the coach. From the beginning, they just treated us as stupid“. At this time, Union have declined to comment.

EUROS 2012 WAGs: If you’re planning to travel to EURO 2012 for player poaching purposes, you’d better prepare yourself for some serious competition. Having attended Emmanuel Adebayor’s 28th birthday party at Aura this week, Rihanna is contemplating career change, reportedly stating “I wanna be a EURO 2012 WAG” before leading a conga around the club. If she’s super lucky, we might let her pal up with us.

How Long Is Too Long? For Jay DeMerit, there is no such thing but for players and coaching staff at two San Diego high schools it’s roughly two days. After the final whistle, Crawford and and La Jolla were tied 3-3, but penalties failed to separate the sides before it got dark. The match resumed the following day with La Jolla winning on the 50th strike. We figure by that point, no one really cared.

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12 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Our Methods, Plus Some Madness”

  1. I hope that he'll have a good start in Corinthians this year.

  2. ArsenalFiesta says:

    I Use to like shakira until she became a wag n now i hate her. I’m a Rihanna fan n if she becomes a wag im not sure if i will like her as much as i did before?

  3. marcie says:

    ZOMG! RIHANNA & BALOTELLI! How perfect would that be? But everyone else, especially the Spanish NT, are off limits!

  4. Agnes Wonka says:

    I love Rihanna! She's a great singer, but I don't think she really wants to be a Wag.

  5. Americus Killaponius says:

    GET OUT, Rihanna. Shakira is more than enough.

  6. Jayy says:

    This might just be me and my crazy thoughts, but am I the only one who thinks Rihanna is just a tad attention seeking?

    • DebS says:

      No, you're not the only one.

      • littlegreenpea says:

        yeah… I read this and I was like, isn't being the ruler of American pop culture enough?!

    • April says:

      She is that way, a bit… but I would not blame her for wanting to snatch herself a footballer. I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend that is skilled in kicking things whenever Chris Brown comes by.

    • xoWinnie says:

      a TAD?! understatement of the year