February 4th, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Paparazzi and Petrol Pumps

Amauri’s hair is always having a bad week. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

T’was the week that saw the January transfer window slam abruptly shut, but not before you know what (possibly NSFLiverpoolFans).

We hope you enjoy perusing our sum up of this week’s best and worst news – yet another formerly regular feature that’s been dubiously neglected by our fickle HQ.


- Usher: Along with being hired as a private dance teacher for one of David Beckham’s boys, the R&B sensation boosted his footy credentials this week by hosting a “who’s who” crowd of Manchester-based ‘ballers at the MEN arena.

- Photography Students: For those learning how to master a lens, what are you waiting for?! Put that device to good use and catch the elusive Gerard Pique & Shakira in action to secure your next 300,000 euro payday (Pssssst: they may be hiding here). BTW, to tend to the needs of the 500+ reader e-mails we received (back week for our inboxes), we’re sending happy birthday scratchy beard wishes to Pique – who turned 24 on Wednesday. Ironically, that’s Skakira’s birth date, too (she turned 34).

- Pub Parties: Access to ALL the EPL matches on the telly ALL the time (or ’till last call)? Where do we sign up?


- Petrol Stations: It’s best to steer clear of Cristiano Ronaldo while he pumps his petrol. After a journo approached the Real Madrid man at a pump station to ask about his sister’s foul word play, CR7 answered her question with another question: ‘are you dumb?’

Our intuitions say the reporter probably isn’t, but Leroy Lita may just be. He accidentally put the wrong type of fuel in his Range Rover’s tank. Fortunately for Richard Dunne, he doesn’t have these kinds of problems since was banned from driving and all.

French footballer OM Jean Philippe Sabo- Product Shilling Pride: How far will one go for a paycheque? Bastian Schweinsteiger’s WAG, Sarah Brandner, was reduced to a chocolate bikini; Olympique Marseilles footballer Jean Philippe Sabo lost his dignity for Lisa Lingerie’s latest campaign; and finally, Jaydy Mitchel (Rafa Marquez’s new wife) didn’t mind working her magic for bed mattresses.

- Ledley King: homeboy forgot to bring his passport to the airport and couldn’t head to Germany for surgery as previously planned. Sadface with a side of frustration.

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23 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Paparazzi and Petrol Pumps”

  1. FTC says:

    The only thing surprising here is that Cristiano pumps his own petrol. I thought he would have a 'man who does' to ensure his motors are always ready to go !

  2. Leya_S says:

    Sarah Bendtner? I think her last name is Brandner, isn't it? Maybe it's a joke and I'm not smart?

    • KicketteMods says:

      Fixed it! Thanks.

      Do forgive us this was posted on Friday and we were… ahem tired (read happy hour started early :)

  3. Crackers says:

    Just read a two-day-old article that said Liverpool tried to buy Fernando Llorente during the transfer window!!!!

    Sadly, he wasn't interested in leaving Athletic so no luck for us, but oh, what might have been…..

  4. kratik1987 says:

    Well, here is my article. It is a must read for Liverpool and Chelsea fans. http://kratik1987.blogspot.com/2011/02/dalglish-w…

  5. simone says:

    Amauri needs a hair straightener asap

  6. SunnyK says:

    Amauri's had a bad hair lifetime. Seriously, I don't know if he uses a flat iron or what, but that mess hasn't ever looked decent. EVER.

  7. BarceLisa says:

    the Nando situ is getting out of hand. Now he is saying he never loved Liverpool. That is just cold, Nando.

    • Crackers says:

      That sounds strange, and he mentioned not kissing the badge, which is something showoff footballers do to convince fans they're not leaving (I've found- look at Rooney) – context is slightly better explained here http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/feb/05/fe…

      I'm watching the match as I type, and while the sight of him in a blue jersey makes me ill, I'm glad we finally have a goal, it was pretty dull.

  8. tappy says:

    What GP3 needs is a "decoy" girlfriend – and as I'm 6'1" and brunette and could not possibly be mistaken for Shakira – I nominate myself!

  9. naylovee says:

    & I can't help to admit that Cristiano defending his sister the way he did, is kind of a turn on. What a man. haha. However, I wonder if he would do the same for Irina…? Hm..

  10. naylovee says:

    Usher AND the arsenal boys all at once? What a dream. But I'd take care of Cesc first. Hope that did'nt sound too far in the gutter.–

  11. Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

    The Arsenal boys went to Usher's concert last night too, imagine cescy and co dancing to usher's tunes!! I would pay big bucks to see that happen.

  12. Missy Manchester says:

    RE: "Skakira’s birth date…"
    Kickette…was that a freudian typo? Skank + Shakira = Skakira?

    I hope Gerard gets a phone call from Nicklas Bendtner before Skakira gets some tips from the Baroness.

    RE: Rhian Sugden
    Joe Hart's little strumpet looks like she used Sharpie markers and plastic fringe for her eye makeup

  13. whitmeredith says:

    Hope all the ballers enjoyed the usher concert. He is a great performer! I'm shaking my head about Ledly King though. Does he even want to be a footballer anymore?

    • Jen says:

      isn't your passport the one thing you check you have….over and over again, when heading to the airport?

  14. Summer says:

    Good week for this reason http://www.chelseafc.com/page/LatestNews/0,,10268…
    See you at Wembley on 28th May 2011 girls!!