July 8th, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Quidditch & Quiffs

Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade. Happy to consort with Muggles, apparently. See more of Mel’s red carpet look by having a squizz at our Style Files. Images: Getty Images/Daylife.

Fine literature and sweet music accompany your snuffle into the week’s news today, Kickettes. We ask that you extinguish all flammable objects and keep laughter and criticism to a dull roar. Thank you.


Potter Spotter: More accustomed to accusations of being unable to spell the word ‘book’, let alone read one, a few EPL stars got their ‘literary’ on last night at the premiere of ‘Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Pt2′. Alright. JK Rowling isn’t exactly Oscar Wilde, and attending the premiere of a film adaptation doesn’t mean you have to have read the book, but it’s room for optimism.

Feeder Fergie: Sunderland fans who were calling for the head of Steve Bruce last season might be grateful the former Manchester United player kept his job after all. The club announced the signing of United players John O’Shea and Wes Brown yesterday, presumably hoping that the experienced pair would help shore up a dodgy defence that conceded fifty-seven goals in 2010/11. Brown himself cited the presence of Bruce at the club as ‘a big factor’ in his making the decision to move. Yeah, that and the fact you look quite hot in a Sunderland shirt, Wes. Don’t deny it.

Getting There: Props to Red Card Homophobia, who showed impressive nous and self-control when they captured a bunch of Ajax players and instead of molesting them, got them to pose for photos showing support for the campaign. The players, including Toby Alderweireld and Derk Boerrigter, signed red cards and then posed with them in an impromptu moment prior to a training session. You can see the pics here. Nice one, team!



Joey Barton. A hearing aid would really finish off that look, y’know. Images via waatp, footymatters.

Indie Intervention: This is a community announcement. Please be aware that we are in possession of evidence that Joey Barton’s Morrissey fangirling has moved into phase two. Having met his idol at Glastonbury a couple of weeks ago, our man has turned up to pre-season training with a what is essentially a tribute hairdo. This, for the moment, is ok. But any further escalation would require an intervention and we would ask that any Kickette unit in the Newcastle area should immediately notify us if they see Joe wandering the streets with a bunch of gladioli hanging out of his back pocket and/or humming the tune to ‘Panic’. We will then apprehend him before any further embarrassment has been caused.

Favourite Shirt: Boxer David Haye not only managed to sully his own reputation last week, but in an admirable feat of multi-tasking he also managed to chalk up a first defeat for the new England NT away kit. Haye wore the new kit into the ring for last Saturday night’s title fight against man mountain Wladimir Klitschko, got battered despite telling everyone he was going to win and then blamed an injury for his ineptitude. Seem familiar, England fans?

But Seriously: We’d just like to take a moment to offer our condolences to the families of those affected by the collapse of a roof at FC Twente’s Grolsch Veste stadium. According to reports, one person lost their life and ten were injured when two support beams buckled during renovation work on Thursday. Words are fairly useless at times like this, but our thoughts and those of our readers are with you.


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18 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Quidditch & Quiffs”

  1. mindy says:

    blech, toni terry grosses me out these days. it's like she's been dressing as a whore lately to keep john from going and shagging other whores.

    • Carro says:

      IKR ? & if u saw more pics of'em there u'd see how she's clinging to him like "yess ,i'm his wife" in all the photos ,after wt he did to her ,he should be the one clinging :S

  2. Americus Killaponius says:

    Okay, was melanie slade, or was she not, in one or two of the hp films? I've watched them over and over again SEARCHING for her. Apparently she had a line but they must have cut that part out cause i would have noticed if i saw her.

  3. xoWinnie says:

    it took me a while to even SEE the heels on the shoes Toni was wearing!
    how DO these WAGs do that!? maybe that's why she's holding onto John for dear life!

  4. linvinnaar says:

    John Terry actually looked dressed up for the occasion. Like for reals. His missus? Not so much.

  5. Agnes Wonka says:

    I forgot to say how beautiful looks Melanie Slade! I love her!

  6. Agnes Wonka says:

    omg! I envy those players and wags who attended the Harry Potter premiere! I'd have killed to be there!

    no means to ofend any Sunderland supporter here, but for John O'Shea and Wes Brown going from United to that club must be going down.

  7. JA7 says:

    The amount of tears just cause of that premiere..omg I can't believe harry potter is really coming to an end </3 :'(

  8. xbabyshakesx says:

    Theo looks amazing! dam he's soo handsome!

    also Prayers to those injured at Twente.

  9. Miss Lampard says:

    Some problems with JT…Damn, he's to resolve them…

  10. Lily says:

    So jealous of everyone that was at the premiere. I went to the New York City premiere of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and got very close to snatching a ticket from a little boy.

  11. blitzenTO says:

    I know I'll be in the minority, but I quite like Joey's haircut. The sports bra, on the other hand… @@

  12. sahil says:

    good week for liverpool as they clinch adams…