October 21st, 2011
Good Week/Bad Week: Reporting Live From Our Bunker
What a week it’s been, Kickettes! We’d barely crawled out from beneath the Weekend Results wreckage before our career choices suffered another brutal assault, The Ramos™ unleashed his ‘naughty boy‘ and Boca blew away the competition in the Pepsi Max Pose-Off.
We tried to escape the onslaught by hiding in the Mayhem and Fruit Beverages Suite, but the image gods found us and started pelting us with semi-pornographic pictures of players. Nagore Arambu tried to save us with the awesome firepower of her colourblocking, but then you, our own readers, turned on us when we had the temerity to suggest Marek Hamsik looks like Gok Wan in the Specs Appeal Sizzle Query.
Sigh. Thank heavens it’s Friday.
Dancing In The Park: Robbie Savage took his life in his hands this week by showing up at Reading FC in spangly trousers and high heels and performing a half-time dancing turn on the pitch. Remarkably, he was applauded, but we figure it was only because everyone was too dumbfounded to shout abuse.
Take Down The Particulars: With this (lead video), Olympiakos defender Francois Modesto offers the best retort to verbally abusive behaviour we have ever seen. Better even, than this. What’cha got now, Juan Cala? Huh? Huh?
Celebratory Shudder: Meanwhile, Mario Balotelli has been put in charge of Manchester City’s Christmas Party plans. Next week? Some damn fool releases the Kickette staff into a Chanel store, hands over their black AMEX card and tells us to ‘enjoy ourselves’.
Bake Off Buffoonery: Despite a love of patisserie that, at times, has bordered on the criminal, we don’t do much baking. Nor did we have any desire to ever see either Charlie Adam or Andy Carroll wearing chefs hats. However, watching them make cakes together is surprisingly good for the soul. Perhaps it’s just because they’re clearly spend as much time in the kitchen as we do (3:21).
Class Act: Everton winger Magaye Gueye has been mugged. During a night in, the player reportedly popped out to his car and was confronted by the thieves, who forced their way into his home and stole cash and a phone. Everton FC have said Magaye is ‘shaken but not hurt’. Let’s send him our best wishes anyway, Kickettes.
Vote Bloat: We don’t say we’re crap at awards shiz to make you think we’re humble. We’re genuinely crap. This week, we only discovered that voting has closed in the Cosmo Blog Awards while we were planning a post to shill our nomination. We’re currently in third place for SHAPE magazine awards – is there any chance you could help us out?
Right. We’re emerging from our bunker now. Let the flying objects commence.