July 22nd, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Studs & Psychics

Are you lot going to stop riding us about dumping Fernando from the F5 list soon? When he heard about his exclusion, he upped his game, and judging by the above photo of Frank Lampard in training with Chelsea during their Malaysian tour the other day, the idea has caught on. We’re doing you a favour by making them work for it, people, help us to help you! Image: AP Photo/Daylife.


Name & Number: We love Harper Seven Beckham’s fancy moniker almost as much as we love the true reason behind it. But we can’t help feeling relieved that Alex Gerrard has reportedly put her foot down regarding the name of her pending sproglet. In her OK column this week, Alex stated that any plans hubby Steven might have had about sneaking his shirt number (8) onto the birth certificate would be met with a firm ‘no’. We admire what she is trying to do, we can’t help but feel the the tide of numeric noms will not be held back by her stance. We can barely contain ourselves.

Studs Up: When joining a squad chock full of footballing luminaries, it’s vital to make an impression on your new manager in order to maximise your chances of selection. However, the stud-shaped impression that one MCFC newbie made on Roberto Mancini when going in for a rather vigorous challenge on his gaffer may not be the best way of going about it. Looking forward to seeing him on the Carling Cup benches very soon!

Predictable, moi?: Helen Flanagan’s WAG status seems to be on the up and up at the mo.  HelFlan, as we respectfully call her, has recently been promoted to the EPL via her engagement to Swansea City’s Scott Sinclair, and now she has been told by a psychic that the pair will marry. Going by HelFlan’s ecletic take on fashion, the wedding should be an awesome spectacle. Of what, we’re not sure.


Jobs For The Girls: Some people have used the quality of football on display in the Women’s World Cup to kick off an interesting debate as to whether a female could play in a standard MLS side. Other people have decided to exploit the publicity to their advantage, signing random non-football playing women to their club in the hope of attracting the attention of that demographic we all desire the most; the slavering idiot. Congratulations, NK Slaven Belupo, for recruiting Nives Celzijus for their Croation first division campaign. Remember Nives? She is Croation international Dino Drpic’s wife and the last time she appeared on our radar, it was for doing the naughty in the centre circle at the Maksimir Stadium in Zagreb. Oh, happy day.

Taste Test: Great news if you’re based in Germany, sport tattoos, black hair (presumably on your head, although the statement is non-specific) and silicone breasts. Werder Bremen striker Marko Arnautovic wants you! Or perhaps not. The Austrian supposedly made the statement outlining his ‘requirements’ during an interview with Austrian magazine ‘Seitenblicke’, but then denied it when the story made headlines. The magazine, in turn, released audio of him making the claim, thus making him look like a bit of a berk. Poor Marko. But at least we know what we have to do to catch his eye now.

Fatherly Fail: OK, so turning up to important meetings on time, wearing the correct number of shoes and not falling asleep in the cab on the way there is a  problem for us.  But we like to think that even we would be able to get ourselves together for a really important appointment. Sadly for Deportivo Saprissa striker Joel Campbell, he does not possess such an intuitive gift and his punishment for failing to turn up for a meeting with Arsenal was them pulling out of a deal to sign him. To compound matters, it was Joel’s dad who offered up the excuses. Lame!


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11 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Studs & Psychics”

  1. Sarah, Madrid says:

    What about Ramos Kickette, ok Torres have to work for.

    What about the popular request, the one we begged for! Where is "THE Ramos" list? lol.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I really like Frank Lampard….he is a good player.

  3. DrStrangelove says:


    Finest Fail: Kickette, the footballing blog normally noted for its astute judgements on pecs, butts, short tents and overall 'baller yumminess, got off to a terrible start to last week, raising doubts about team fitness in preperation for the new season. Much like a foreign manager suddenly thrown into an unfamiliar club, league and style of play, Kickette produced a widely-derided and unbalanced squad selection in its Finest Five, largely believed to be due to backroom politics. Droping fan favourites and proven team players such as Fernando Torres, Cristiano Ronaldo and Sergio Ramos, in favour of little-known new signings such as Jack Rodwell, Kickette proceeded to lose the match of public opinion 257-0, prompting derisive chants of 'You're getting harrassed about The Ramos in the morning' from the home fans. Kickette will be hoping the new season gets off to a smoother start, and that there are plenty of opportunities to show that their judgement on 'baller hotness is still undimmed.

  4. smdkmskldf says:


    and you dumped THIS from the finest five? girls please.

  5. Kat22 says:

    Kickette – we'll never stop riding you about dumping Fernando from the Finest Five!

    There's only one solution to stop all the nagging – reinstate him! :-)

  6. lyricm9 says:

    oh john.. how i love you

  7. Miss Lampard says:

    I'm breathless 'cause of the pic above…Uh uh how is damn-hot Lamps! But even thought this I've to admit that I can't compare this one with the last picture here of Nando…The Nando's pic is still in front of my eyes..Speachless!!

    Congrats today and a huge kiss to my new big crush, rider Andy Schleck that today took the yellow shirt at Tour de France. I hope he will win the race, two days more…Keep on winning Andy!!Love you!

    • LuvinBale says:

      Yesterdays stage was AMAZE-BALLS!!
      Schleck was amazing – I was on the edge of my seat. Literally.
      Contador couldnt handle the pressure he blew up in the end.
      He can/should win the Tour.

      On to footie related topics- Frankie is looking FIIIINE!!!! Damn summer did his body good.
      Him and Nando.

      • Miss Lampard says:

        Yesterday was one of the best-memorable days of my whole life…Can't still believe at my eyes! Andy was simply AWSOME and INCREDIBLE; a very huge performance…Actually I can't stand Contador at all, so I can't hide that I was a little happy of his performance at Tour. I don't know if Andy could win the Tour, of course he deserves it, but tomorrow there will be a very hard stage for him. 42 km at Grenoble and when the stage is so short there is be another rider, Cadel Evans, that could win both (the stage and the Tour). But I don't want to stop to dream and I think that could be marvellous for Andy to finally realize his most important-wonderful dream!