March 18th, 2011
Good Week/Bad Week: Tomfoolery & Taxis
GOOD WEEK
Whacked Out Warm-Up: AC Milan fans were distracted from their programme reading and pre-match routines (above) by a bunch of actors purporting to be players and arsing around on the pitch during the ‘team’ warm-up before the Bari game last weekend. Activities including grass swimming and frisbee were enacted, but the whole thing was apparently a set-up by Gazzetta dello Sport to promote their paper. Better than cheerleaders though, no? via dirtytackle
Stockton-area pubs/clubs patrons: Your local watering holes will remain Lee Cattermole-free for another year. Hurrah!
Crisis? What crisis?: From a goalkeeping point of view, many Arsenal fans might argue that this story belongs firmly in the ‘Bad Week’ section, but from an entertainment (and neutral) perspective, the return of Jens Lehmann to the Gunners fold is about as good as it gets. The unpredicable German has been signed on a monthly rolling contract after Wojciech Szczesny suffered a dislocated finger in the game against Barcelona. We await his first appearance with interest.
Image: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe/Zimbio
BAD WEEK
Mario Balotelli: Before Mario Balotelli got himself sent off 30 minutes into Manchester City’s crucial Europa League tie against Dynamo Kiev last night, he seriously struggled with affixing his training bib to his body (much to the general public’s delight). Adding insult to injury, Manager Roberto Mancini is apparently dunzo with the striker’s asshattery and hinted he will bench Balotelli for City’s game against Chelsea this weekend.
Image: ANDREW YATES/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife
Taxi For Rio: Rio Ferdinand was apparently snubbed this week by a bunch of twelve year old boys whose garment of choice is the onesie. Yes, as well as having to deal with rampant speculation regarding his status as England captain, Rio reportedly visited a hotel in Manchester to meet X-Factor boyband One Direction. They were supposedly too busy. Seriously?!
Skinny headbands: A certain (special) elastic hair holder assaulted David Beckham’s supreme strands during the MLS Season Opener between Los Angeles Galaxy and the Seattle Sounders. David, sweetie pie, leave this look to the professionals.
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What the hell is going on here?? It's like a football freakshow!
Mad Jens and Manu hmmmm?
life as a Gunner is always interesting!
LMAO thats all I gots to say
OMG. I'm dying to see Jens back with the Gunners. That should be fun.
Balotelli's clearly used to having everything done for him. Poorrr boy
Hahahaha that video of Balotelli made my day, feckin eejit.
Jens Lehmann will make the Premier League a better place, I love the crazy ones!
bahaha! Balotelli!
Thrilled to see Lehmann back at Arsenal. Easy on the eyes + total barking mad = WIN!
I will be eagerly awaiting his first appearance, cocktail in hand.
Crazy Jens back at Arsenal is a total PLUS for me i missed his crazy antics!
Mario Ballotteli is soooo funny albeit he's not trying to be, great for us to watch, bad for man city fans having a player like him, the guy has huge potential shame he has this I DONT CARE attitude and aura about him :S
Hey, Beckham worked the headband look in his Real days, before Nando grew his hair long.
Every footballer should have hair long enough to suit a headband. Wonder if the FIFA guy who intends to scrap booking for shirt removal will consider this also.
Yesterday I almost died of laughter because of Balotelli! What an idiot!! But then I started to think that this guy probably has some mental problems. His tackle,if you can call it that,was disgracefull.I actually feel sorry for Man City,they spent a lot of money on someone who clearly doesn't care enough about anything. Some people don't realise how lucky they are. So many kids out there praying for an opportunity and this idiot just destroys his.
I think he learned that move from his team (looking at you Nigel).
"City midfielder Nigel de Jong said his controversial young team-mate needs to change his mentality." Seriously Nigel?! Try setting the example first dude!
But yeah…Balotelli is a loose cannon it seems. But then, look at Tevez during the game too. Dude looked like he was about to bum rush the poor linesman!
He's definitely got impulse control problems. And anger-management issues. We've already seen his red cards of rage, but now we see his bib toss of rage. I mean, I'm sure he could've figured out how to put it on if he'd just managed to calm down, instead of hitting nuclear levels of frustration within mere seconds and then throwing the bib away. That trainer should've handed him an Ativan.
I don't know, I still feel sorry for him, though. I mean, the guy's had a rough life. He was removed from his biological parents by social services in Italy when he was a child. He was eventually adopted by his foster parents the Balotellis. When he suddenly got famous (and stinking rich) as a teenager, bio fam suddenly rediscovered an interest in him, and when he didn't return their interest, they went to the tabloids with their tale of woe. Which prompted a public outburst from Balotelli that they never sent him so much as a birthday card when he was growing up, and they're not his real family. So traumatic background there. And he's the first black guy to ever break into the Italian NT, and has been repeatedly subject to pretty horrific racist abuse from so-called "fans", both at club and country level. So lots of reasons for him to be a dysfunctional basket case.
It's a shame, though, because he's SO damn talented when he kicks a ball, and he's going to wreck a very promising career if he doesn't manage to get his issues under control.