July 15th, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Veggies & Vehicular Violence

If all else fails, Cristiano can always be relied upon to provide us with a much needed boost in the morning. Image: PacificCoastNews.com/Zimbio

How come the weekend seems further away than ever on a Friday morning? Allow us to divert your attention from the responsibilities of being a grown-up for a few minutes with a some perky stories from the past week.


Scopin’ Hope: We weren’t entirely surprised to read that USWNT ‘keeper Hope Solo was trending on Twitter after the side’s game against Brazil last Sunday. Solo’s ‘skills’ have already been noted by a significant minority of you lot, who it seems are now campaigning for her inclusion in the next Finest Five. Do you guys not think we have enough trouble with that damn list, without making the selection pool co-ed? Anyway, whatever. Hope Solo for President if USA win the WWC. You read it here first.

Beautiful Baby Becks: So, after the press deprived us of several months worth of speculation as to the origins of Harper Seven Beckham’s name, Mama B has expressed her love for her new ally in her house of testosterone. Apparently, HSB is ‘the most beautiful baby girl’ VB has ever seen. Awww. We’re really touched. We might even suspend snarking for a mo. Oh no, wait a sec…

Gettin’ Fruity: Great news for Spanish cucumber producers! La Liga club Sevilla have come out in support of the beleaguered farmers of our favourite green salad fruit (yep, it is, we checked), whose produce was initially and erroneously blamed for an E.coli outbreak in Germany recently. The Sevilla players will be sporting a badge on their new shirts that features the slogan ‘I (love) cucumbers’, above a picture of, yes, a cucumber. Next week, Sergio Ramos expresses vague disinterest towards a pomegranate.


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Road Wars: We know it’s tough to drive a golf cart. Admittedly our experiences tend to towards the ‘stolen while drunk, across the golf course, in the dark, pursued by a furious greenkeeper) end of the spectrum, but as this latest video from Real Madrid’s pre-season tour in the US shows, even daylight on tarmac can be fraught with danger. We must ask, Real Madrid fans. Is a glimpse of tanned thigh really worth a heavy blow to the face from a small motorised vehicle? Meh, probably.

Crimes Against Pimping: El Hadj Diouf has gone missing. The Blackburn Rovers player hasn’t been seen since he was asked to leave the training ground in May after inappropriately flashing his SPL winners medal around while Rovers were struggling for EPL survival. Now it transpires that he hasn’t reported for pre-season training. Hmm. Can’t they just put an APB out for heinously pimped out vehicles? He can’t be that difficult to spot, surely?

Worth A Try: In an attempt to placate the Bayern Munich fans who have opposed his signing for their club since it was first mooted, Manuel Neuer met with a group of their representatives this week. The Ultras (dictionary definition: possibly a tad batshit extremist fans whose club means more to them than their mothers) listened to Neuer’s requests to cease the protests, which have occurred at training sessions and pre-season games, and then released the following statement: ‘During the meeting, we explained how he should behave towards us. If Manuel Neuer observes the rules  of conduct and maintains a respectful distance (from us), there will be  no more protests or organised demonstrations against him.’

Respect? Really, boys?

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34 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Veggies & Vehicular Violence”

  1. Amy says:

    Makes me wanna vomit!

  2. FootyCookie says:

    looks like she was trying to meet the golf cart rather than meet the RM boys lol poor soul.

  3. Amandinha says:

    Please, don't mention Brasil's loss tomorrow, kickettes…. it's too painful. I'm ashamed enough!

  4. Agnes Wonka says:

    which team is playing against USA in the WWC? I'm not very updated as Copa America is driving me crazy!!!

    golf cars look hard to drive idk…

    YEAH URUGUAY!!!!!!

  5. partyyyyyy says:

    watch this … mesut, nuri and hamit are dancing
    it was the wedding recdeption of an other turkish football player a few weeks ago :D

  6. Lotte says:

    Oh what a sweet gesture from Sevilla! Hilarious, yes, but sweet. I hope they will be more successful next season.

  7. canada says:

    Can we have a C. Ronald time out? Above the thighs, he's so high schooll. Unattractive.

  8. xoWinnie says:

    k…how did the golf cart drivers resist the urge to kidnap them?
    the cart with Sergio on it? done deal. woulda have his sexy ass gone in a second lol

  9. SierraGutierrez says:

    Apparently Golf Cart Girl was not a crazed fan, but a student who was late to class! On this I can sympathise; I once fell down a manhole whilst running to class late :/

    But yeah, apparently to make it up to here she was invited to their training sesh and they all laughed about it together.


  10. April says:

    I cannot stop laughing at that video, nor the cucumber thing. Both just made my night. Or maybe my glass of wine made my night, and these just enhanced it.

  11. Alisha says:

    Aww Diouf is a wee legend, as a Rangers fan am very proud of him ;)

  12. bri_saldana says:

    yeah she obviously did this with some kind of weird intentions because I would have been focused….I WOULD NOT HAVE MISSED! hehehe

  13. TuTu says:

    After the fan ran into the golf cart…what happened to the fan?? Obviously they didn't welcome her with open arms in the cart and went on with their schedule. lol

    Wow. As for Lily saying "I'm sure they were mocking and laughing at her behind her back". More like they mocked/laughed right in her face which I would do the same. Who would steep that low to be able to meet them? So what they are RM….so what they are my favorite club with my favorite players, my pride and physical well-being is FAR MORE important.

  14. Gladys says:

    I feel bad for Neuer. He's just trying to play football. And now he's got to make a bunch of lunatics happy, cause they can't deal with the fact that he came from a rival team. Honestly, I wish they would just ban fans like that from attending games (I'm quite frankly shocked that Germany, of all places, has such crazed fans). I love football– it's my favorite spectator sport by far– but some of the fan violence really gets me down.

    • blitzenTO says:

      Completely agree.

    • Lotte says:

      I know. When it becomes that bad it has ceased to be about football. People like that are very sad creatures, and must feel very powerless in their lifes when they must threaten others to boost themselves.

    • rainstarmcgee says:

      its sad that it has to resort to such measures…

    • Iris says:

      oh this ultras are such idiots. they're are against commerce in football, and honestly i love bayern but if this club isn't commerce than no other in germany i too hahaha
      i used to talk to those guys, and actually they're not even that stuoid but when it comes to neuer… baaaam… brain off.
      we are arguing with them like all the time now and it's definety not good for our club -.- and of course those idiots whistled at him at the game today -.- and he gave them reason to say he's not good. great day obviously…

  15. Anita says:

    if i were that girl in the video i would have been so embarrassed
    but it was really funny!! lol

  16. IrishBlue says:

    I would NOT risk knocking myself unconscious for a glimpse of a player, or anyone for that matter. Way too embarrassing, not to mention painful.

    I did laugh so much at that video though :D

  17. Deb S says:

    Oh Heck No! That fan was just too ridiculous! I sure hope she isn't aiming for a lawsuit against Real Madrid. We have some real winners here in the US. *rolls eyes*

    The Ultras…really? And if he helps your team win titles? What then? Of course, we have fans in the US who are no different. They hate the player until he starts helping the team win games/titles, then he's the best player ever. Bandwagon riders!

  18. Angelina says:

    ok that video … The girl did it on purpose … because she ran into the golf cart … & after that she was the "special" guest at the training pratice … I really can't believe fans are like this … even though I would die for my team or risk my life for them …but another thing is running into a golf cart just so you can meet them…

    ummm & I couldn't really tell but it didn't look like CR7 was in that golf cart??? soo who was in that golf cart ??

    • Lily says:

      Not worth the embarassment and pain in my opinion. Even if she did get to meet them I'm sure they were mocking and laughing at her behind her back (this doesn't make them bad people, who wouldn't laugh at an idiot who purposely runs into a moving golf cart?).

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      I love Real Madrid, like love this club, everything about them, BUT I WOULD never do something like that to see a player, it is not worth it, just to have 2 minutes of his time, jeez!,

  19. gillianrosh says:

    What was that fan thinking? Oh, I know – she wanted a look at Cris' thighs. I can respect that.

  20. Sarah, Madrid says:

    I respect Seville for the gesture!. Alot not a big fan of the club!

    No, no, should have waited for the right moment and JUMP into Cris lap!

  21. lalalala says:

    that video os sooooooo funny

    i saw it in marca already

    i mean i would love to see the guys

    but helloooooooooooooooo?!?

    crazy or what……. this person should thank god that she is alife………..

    but hahahahhahaha

    sorryyyyyyyyy can't stop laughing!!! :D

    • xoWinnie says:

      lol they were all laughing at her! i think that's what made it so much funnier!

  22. Candice says:

    I'm so distracted by the beauty and perfection that is C-Ron and his body that I couldn't read a word of the post. (Blushes)

    • what says:

      i saw videos of the european championsship in 2004

      the final greece aganist portugal
      and there he looked nice… realy nice…. young and hot.. he had full lips…. yummy yummy

      but now he looks old
      i am sorry but thats my opinion
      he is hot anyway but not THAT hot !!!!

      • xoWinnie says:

        honey, he is still luscious!

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        Actually I like Cris now, than back when he was in united, I actually hated him back then! Now, he is all matured a MAN!