June 17th, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Winners & Losers

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Notes for Friday. Stumble through the work day using a supply of coffee and sweets that results in ‘elevated mood sensitivity’. Hope colleagues don’t notice. (They do).  Leave office early for ‘one quick drink’  at local bar, announcing intentions of an evening at the gym. Collapse into house several hours later wearing only one shoe and carrying someone else’s handbag. Pass out on carpet, get face burn.

Friday? Done.

GOOD WEEK

Hair-we-go: It seems that Wayne Rooney’s good humour and positive attitude regarding his recent hair transplant has rubbed off. British artist Alison Jackson has created a spoof video (using a scarily accurate lookalike) of the newly hirsute one trying on a bunch of wigs. Anyone claiming not to have imagined this scenario at least once after reading this story is a liar.

MO Money: Hooray for Michael Owen, who celebrated with tears yesterday when his horse Brown Panther won the King George V stakes at Ascot. The nag in question was not only trained at MO’s stables but bred there too, and is something of a family pet. Sigh. We can only imagine what it might be like to have pets that achieve things. The Kickette beasts are essentially spoilt, lazy and demanding. We wonder where they get it from.

Love, love, kiss, kiss: Iker Casillas came as close as he ever has to admitting he can’t stand the sight of team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo this week. We oft speculate on the strained dynamic between these two, and Iker’s description of Cris as ‘a friend and a team-mate, a team-mate and a friend – but he’s also an enemy, because we argue a lot,‘ did nothing to throw us off the grubby scent. We’re experts in the field of passive/aggressive behaviours and obligatory compliments offered through gritted teeth. Just remember that, Iker.

BAD WEEK

Kev n’ Joe during happier times. Sob. Image: Getty Images/Daylife

Blow-mance: We knew that Joey Barton’s presence on Twitter would invariably be a rich vein of intrigue and amusement, and the Newcastle United midfielder has not let us down. He responded to the news that team-mate Kevin Nolan was  in talks with West Ham by posting this heart-rending tweet, which actually brought tears to our cynical eyes. It’s always upsetting to see a committed bromance torn asunder, but who knew JB was such a sensitive soul? We look forward to the photos of him stroking kittens with bated breath.

Er…no-mar: Computer hackers intent on bringing down the technological dream world we all spend far too much time in have hit upon what could have been a brilliant new scheme to fool us into opening those fabled attachments your mother warned you against. The promise of a footballer sex tape. Uh huh. We can see how that could work. Except the dolts chose to advertise Neymar as one of the participants. A swing and a miss, guys.

Titus Shambles: It’s not the first time in his career that he’s done it, but Newcastle defender Titus Bramble scored a humungous own goal this week by claiming in his brother’s trial for rape that if a woman goes back to a hotel with a player, they do so for sex. Hmm. While we don’t necessarily dispute this claim, (we haven’t spent enough time with Titus to get a good insight into his experiences at the Travel-Lodge), we’re once again disappointed to find ourselves flailing around in the mire that is modern football, and wishing those stories about handsome princes had some basis in reality.

Still. There’s always cake.

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21 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Winners & Losers”

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  2. @AgnesWonka says:

    Iker and CR7 have to admit that their issues are because of a sexual tension with each other!

  3. Linda says:

    I like to think that anything (good or bad) that goes on between Cristiano and Iker is due to repressed sexual tension. I'm just gonna run with that…

  4. cisarovna says:

    I agree that this not something that could only happen at Madrid, but I don't think Iker's most recent comments have been misinterpreted. His statement was more of a Freudian slip than anything else. While I think it would be normal for teammates to sometimes argue, I don't think it is normal to speak about it publicly, especially for a captain.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Well, all he have said that they argue, we don't know they argue on what exactly right? For all I know, they argue on which movie is better "notting hill" or "the silence of the lambs". That's why this means nothing for me :) .

  5. Holly says:

    I can't even handle that picture of Michael Owen and the horse. Everything about it is too funny.

  6. xoWinnie says:

    the sad thing about what Titus Bramble said is that in 90% of these situations: it's true.
    obviously he's going to defend his brother and sounds like an ass,
    but in general girls who frequent night clubs and baller hot-spots know what it is,
    if a professional athlete wants to take you home,
    it's not usually for a riveting conversation on astrophysics.

    i read that article Kickette posted a while ago about Wag-a-bees
    and it seems to be an emerging trend among certain women;
    to go out in the skimpiest outfits and find a man
    with a couple of stacks in his pocket to take you home at the end of the night.
    hopefully he'll date you, or otherwise he'll leave you a nice chunk of "cab-money"
    or else you can just sell your story to some sleazy tabloid for a couple grand.

    if this was truly rape, that's disgraceful and disgusting,
    but in situations like these there's always a shadow of a doubt.
    i hope the truth comes to light.

    • Linda says:

      Every woman regardless of where she is, how she's dressed, or what the circumstances are should be able to say "No" at ANY GIVEN TIME and have her words respected. Period.

      • ochocincosays says:

        And you are completely RIGHT. . . but as a woman, you know what your getting yourself into! If you or I were out and about dressed in skimpy clothing hanging on to a ballers arm what would everyone automatically assume? WE ARE ALL MAKING ASSUMPTIONS HERE.
        . . . . . And that girl is stupid for going back to the hotel room, just saying, especially if she did not want sex JUST DONT PUT YOURSELF IN THAT KIND OF SITUATION! WHY do we women never learn!!!!

      • Winnie Mata says:

        i agree with that completely.
        but if your actions and intentions insinuate
        "yes" and you only say "no" when it's convenient
        (like–after the fact?)
        then it casts a shadow of a doubt on your character
        and your credibility.
        that's all i'm saying.

  7. xoWinnie says:

    LOL! <3

  8. EEF says:

    Don't forget Forlan's relationship with the rest of the Atleti players has deterioted so much this past year. They barely even play him, and when they do they hardly pass to him. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/sid…

  9. JA7 says:

    Oh my, Rooney's having a bit too much fun lol

  10. earidurt says:

    that rooney wig spoof is funny as hell !!! hahahahaha. seriously though, rooney…rogaine is your FRIEND! you are too young to be looking like grandpa moses. hell, even moses had more hair than that. get it together buddy!

  11. Sarah, Madrid says:

    I think people are really over-reading into iker description of Cristano! The long lasting hug after CDR final between them just show how good of relation they have!!

    He said an enemy with a smile, which indicate that he is kidding! Of course when you argue with someone he becomes an enemey for the moment.

    • Thea says:

      Well I think it sums up a lot about what goes on inside RM – not many team (none I can think off) have the drama those do. I think he may of been trying to say that they agree to disagree perhaps??!!??

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        Well! a) RM sell that's why they are talked about in media b) any professional workplace problems must accure in, just because of simple clash of personalities! it doesn't mean there is problems going on in the backstage!

        • Thea says:

          Possibly – but by and large comments like that do not emerge in Barca or Athlectico!