June 24th, 2011

Good Week/Bad Week: Wrong Way Round

Right. Er… on the plus side, Spurs can be assured that the chances of running into another team in European football with a lavender away kit are limited. Still, we’re not going to turn down an opportunity to gaze adoringly into Rafael van der Vaart eyes, regardless of his attire. Images via waatp, Getty Images/Daylife.

Do you often read our posts and think that our drink related ineptitude is just an excuse for not doing any work? Before we move into the week’s news proper, allow us to avail you of an event that happened to one of our beloved staff this week, and see if you still feel the same way.

The woman in question (who shall remain nameless for reasons that will become clear) decided to take a quick power-nap at 4pm one day last week, prior to attending a drinks party at a friend’s house at 7.30pm. She duly awoke, noted the time and hastened round to said friend’s house brandishing her customary bucket of wine, only to be advised that it was actually 7.30am, she had slept for fifteen hours and she and her cheap alcohol were not welcome.

Sigh. It’s a true story. Now, do you see? It’s a ruddy miracle we post anything on this site. Ever.


Transfer Totty: Congrats to England winger Ashley Young, who significantly increased interest in his personal circumstances this week by signing a lucrative five-year contract with Manchester United. The ex-Villa man is reportedly going to be earning in the region of £120,000 a week, but despite his excitement at signing for ‘one of the biggest clubs in the world’, he knows as well as we do that everyone is more keen on finding out why he and long-term partner Nicky Pike postponed their wedding just prior to his sunshine break in Vegas.

Savage In Spandex: Robbie Savage has tempered speculation that he will be appearing on the UK’s equivalent of ‘Dancing With The Stars’ by saying that he feels the British public should be spared the sight of his lycra clad body. The former Derby County midfielder had been tipped to appear on the next series of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ but claims he hates spandex. Having (sort of) seen him ‘dressed up’ (left) we can’t help but concur.

Shakira, Shakira: Shakira has never made a secret of her concern for others; even taking the time out of her busy day to remind us that her girls are ‘small and humble’ so more geographically challenged people don’t make the fatal error of mistaking them for mountains. Now it appears she has expanded her horizons, advising this week that she “…want(s) a world that works as a team, as Barça does. This way we can win the match against discrimination.

Hmmm…alright then.


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Amaze-balls: You can usually expect to find headlines like ‘International sex-biscuit scores goal’ in the Good Week section, but while Chicharito’s er… strike against Honduras was as ace as any we’ve seen from the lad, the fact that the ball rebounded off his crotch and into the net is worrying for any Kickette with nefarious aspirations. Watch and cringe, people.

Cups Runneth Over: Similarly, Santos winning their first Copa Libertadores title since 1963 would generally be a cause for celebration, but nobody told their opponents Penarol, who took the blowing of the final whistle as a signal to express their disappointment. Cue large melee, lots of swinging fists and some seriously unfriendly kicking. We’re sure that the Brazilian Football Confederation will be thrilled at the advert, just three years prior to their hosting the World Cup.

Trash Palace: The UK tabloid obsession with reporting Ashley Cole’s heinous misdemeanors took somewhat of a blow this week, with their dim demonstration of his evil ways courtesy of some overflowing bins outside his L.A. holiday mansion. Right. Take-away on holiday. What a mad, impetuous fool the man is. *Eye roll*

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46 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Wrong Way Round”

  1. Eva says:

    I don't even follow Spanish football, and I most definitely don't have a thing for Pique, but that Shakira quote is just plain pseudo-intellectual. I can't even call it stupid, that would make it a subjective opinion. I don't know any adjective for someone who wants to be thought of as a philanthropist, so I can only go with that, and pitiful. Hopefully though, people will finally stop that ridiculous sh-t of her having SUCH a high IQ, nigga please, the only high thing about her is her bleach usage and libido.

  2. Agnes Wonka says:

    what happened is that a Santos fan insulted a Peñarol player!…and the fight started.
    what can I say, we Manyas are very passionate. I'm really proud of how Peñarol played the final!

  3. Agnes Wonka says:

    omg Shakira, that analogy is a cheap intent to win the Barça fans. But that proves how fake you're are!

    Chicharito XDDDD

  4. tapioca says:

    “…want(s) a world that works as a team, as The Smurfs do. This way we can win the fight against discrimination.”

    There you go Shakira, I fixed your quote for you. Now it sounds less like you're using your boyfriend and the popularity of his team to sate your hunger for publicity, because obviously you'd have been just as attracted to him when he was warming the bench at Man U. Now, if you could just restrain yourself from overacting in the stands to draw attention from the actual footballers to ME!! ME!! ME!! we might be friends again. I mean, you were witnessing the Copa Del Rey final love, not the Srebrenica Massacre…

  5. So we agree that racism is wrong no matter what club is the offender? I am not a fan of Real or Barca so i don't have a tribal sympathy for either team. But what I am saying is by Real saying Barca players are racist, they are setting themselves up to look rather stupid the next time a player of theirs (Arbeloa and Keita comments for example?) does something similar to what Busquets did. Real should make a real stand by banning their ultra group fans with their white supremicist flag, that would be a commendable thing to do. Barcelona have already done this. It is easier to ban an ultra group than control everything an individual person says to another. Spanish football is unpalatable for many black players because of racism so rather than name calling clubs should try and control their own clubs by doing the sorts of things I have said. Simple.

    • Winnie Mata says:

      we do agree in that respect, yes. racism and discrimination in general are wrong no matter what. i've never heard that the confrontation between Arboloa/Pinto/Keita had any racial link before. this is definitely new news to me. it's pretty hypocritical in that respect, especially since Arby pretty much called Busquets out about what he "allegedly" said to Marcelo. Real and all other clubs should ban their ultras, but like most other clubs they won't until there is sufficient pressure on them, which is sad. but saying that Real fans should stop talking about it is stupid. it's not like we do it all the time. Shakira's comments can be directly connected to this. it makes sense to bring it up because she sounds like an idiot in light of what has happened. why shouldn't we point that out and use that as an example?

  6. bääääääääää says:

    kickette you forgot something:
    bad week : Özil has a girlfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://hurarsiv.hurriyet.com.tr/goster/ShowNew.as…

    they are holding hands in that pic but you cant see it!

  7. cupcakes says:

    "This way we can win the match against discrimination."

    Guess who was pictured in Israel this week, proudly posing with Shimon Peres and Tony Blair?

    That's the Shimon Peres who ordered the massacre of hundreds of civilians in Qana, southern Lebanon (Shakira is part-Lebanese) amongst numerous atrocities against Palestine and the Tony Blair who was complicit in the murder of hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians from 2003 onwards. I wonder if she and Pique will be having tea with Robert Mugabe next weekend? Or smoking a doobie with Darfur's Jangaweed Militia?

    Humanitarian my a$s!!

  8. PS:
    Re; Ashley Young. As a Villa fan I can say man Utd are welcome to him. His wedding was called off because allegedly he was caught sleeping with Liam Ridgewell (his best friend) fiance. Both weddings were cancelled and Young allegedly got an injunction. Plenty on the net about it if you look hard enough!

    • IrishBlue says:

      I missed the word 'fiance' when I read that the first time.

    • essjay says:

      YAY A VILLAN! :D

      …. Moving on…..

      I must say I'm somewhat gutted he's actually gone… I knew he was eventually going to go, but since he's been connected with different teams since well, forever, it just seemed like he'd never actually go…
      Also gutted that that's one less goodlooking fella in the Villa squad.. :(
      Fingers crossed McLeish knows what he's doing though….. :/

  9. I actually think it's really unfair of Real Madrid to keep talking about racism against Barca. Barca banned their 'ultra' group with racist views from the Camp Nou when Real Madrid haven't. There were just as many racist chants from Real Madrid at the Bernabeu during the CL semi final than at the Camp Nou. And with players at half time towards Keita which provoked the half time row between players. Therefore I think it's ridiculous that Real Madrid should paint themselves as whiter than whiter (excuse the pun), when Real Madrid should do something by banning their ultra group and getting a grip of racism in their own house, rather than just criticising Barca. It's unfair because Barca won't come out and defend them and say "Look what you did also" as they are a club that is not like that.

    • xoWinnie says:

      what part of the Busquets thing involving a PLAYER versus a FAN do people not understand?! there is racism all over Europe and not many clubs are taking action about it. when a club expresses such passion against discrimination as Barca does, doing all sorts of campaigns, wearing a "respect" badge, etc etc; they should be held to a certain standard, as should Madrid. but the incident, was not involving a Madrid player, was it? because i'm pretty sure that instead of sweeping it under the rug like it was done with the Biscuits incident, people would scream bloody murder in the press because that's all they seem to do since Real is apparently the "devil" in the situation. besides, if we want to go into detail about the clubs with the most racist fans in Spain, i think anyone would agree that Zaragoza, Atletico Madrid and the like have everyone beat. as for your last statement um…where were ALL of last season? simply googling player comments from Barca players concerning Madrid will tell you that's a complete lie.

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        I just want say one thing:
        If Arbeloa supposely did say racist comment against Keita in the UCL, I would honestly want to make an example out of him IF he did say something racist to him, although as far I saw Arbeloa was the one provoked after the first half then Pinto wanted to hit him, but Arbeloa brushed off both of Keita and Pinto and went into the dressing-room and I really heard of Arbeloa inncident just he minute Busquets inncident was talked about in the media, if it was true, don't you think Barcelona players would have spoken about it, Pinto didn't even explain why he hit and managed to push down a old-guy ( Chendo) one of our club legends.
        and yes IF we did it, it doesnt make it right that Busquets did it too, BOTH should be puinshed what kind of logic is this.

  10. guess says:

    For all of you commenting that Shakira use to be a huge Real fan, quick qestion how do you know if it was not all a PR stunt?. Trust me if she happens to date another footballer from a different team soon enough; we would have to suffer through statement like that as well!

    • xoWinnie says:

      either way, it doesn't matter because when it comes down to it, she's either a Barca fan as a PR stunt or was a Madrid fan as a PR stunt. she looks attention-whorish and capricious either way and it's not a good thing.

  11. Jess says:

    really Shakira!?! Wow, she used to be the biggest Real Madrid fan…what a JOKE!

  12. @DebStimson says:

    I've heard of rivalry in football but the melee after the Copa Liberatores was shameful. So instead of Santos being able to celebrate their win, Penarol decided to take center stage. So sad!

    Chicharito…talk about "taking one for the team". O_o It almost looked like he took it off his upper thigh though. That was the only reason I could come up with for him not doubling over in pain afterwards…either that or goal scoring euphoria trumps pain…at least temporarily. Seriously though…the guy just can't stop scoring, can he! love this kid!

  13. Lily says:

    So happy for Santos. I'm not a supporter but the game was thrilling and they deserved it. Shakira, what on Earth has happened to you…

  14. earidurt says:

    that shakira comment literally made me cringe :-/ oy vey.

  15. Winnie Mata says:

    LOL! that analogy just–no. i'll love to see if she'll love Barca so much if Pique dumps her.

    • Lily says:

      Funny thing is before she dated Pique she was a Madrid fan.

      • xoWinnie says:

        goodness…really? i just lost a bucketful of respect for her.
        i cannot stand fickle fans, especially for such rival teams.
        i bet you she'll be photo'd out in a Madrid jersey as a "confirmation" of the split ;)

        • Sarah, Madrid says:

          It is not like I care if she supports us or not, but I want send her the picture of couple years ago with number 5 shirt ((Zizou)) as her fav player to tell her how ridiculous she looks right now. It is like she is trying too hard to prove she is a Barc fan now,.

          • xoWinnie says:

            i agree, we don't needs fans like that, no matter how famous they are.
            my boyfriend loves Manchester United, but he knows better than to say anything about it around me! lol
            it's like Iker and Sara, i understand they're engaged now, but seeing as she is an Atleti fan,
            i would never expect her to wear a Casillas Madrid jersey. Spain is okay, Real is not.
            women like Shakira are one of the reasons men don't take us seriously as sports fans.

            • Sarah, Madrid says:

              lol I agree! I understand she can be supportive of her bf nothing with that, switch clubs ok fine whatever! but don't don't gor around making stupid statments

              • xoWinnie says:

                i don't like the club switching thing. her comments are just the icing on the cake! you don't just shift alliances because some dude is laying down good pipe. that is not a Real fan! (no pun intended :P )

            • TFBlovesArsenal says:

              I totally agree! I'm a huge Arsenal fan and an ardent supporter of the USA team. However, I happen to have a secret crush on Chicharito, who plays for a rival club team AND the arch-rivals of my national team. If I were in a position to date him, there's no way I'd switch my allegiance just because of him.

              Actually, come to think of it, I think that's actually part of his appeal to me, like he's completely off-limits somehow.

              Anyway, my point is that Shakira had an awesome relationship with Real Madrid for years and years and totally flushed it down the toilet when she decided to support Barça because she's dating Pique, and I think that's stupid.

      • YoungChelsea says:

        Just what I was gonna point out, her alliance shifted pretty quickly ¬¬

      • @DebStimson says:

        yeah…a "die hard" Madrid fan from what I hear. bandwagon rider! sheesh

        and then to come out and say "This way we can win the match against discrimination" after what Busquets did? I guess love really is blind.

        no respect at all for her now.

        • xoWinnie says:

          oh man! i totally forgot about that " incident" …she must be high.

        • Sarah, Madrid says:

          Well, I am really starting to believe this relation is pure PR move because when you read this you either feel: a) she is using Barcelona fame in order to gain new fans ( we all know Barcelona is a club that is popular world-wide and everyone, anyone is supporting them), used to be Real Madrid back in the days that's why she used to support us.


          b) the less unlikely secaniro: Barcelona are using their playes'' wags to promote their club because this statement is one way or another is related to Busquets inncident and trying to defend it lol. ( I honestly don't think Barc would do it).

          One way or another, we all agree it is stupid regardless of reason.

    • Agnes Wonka says:

      defo! i agree!

  16. Lily says:

    LOL + LMAO @ Shakira!!!

  17. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Again Shakira statement is hilarious, she really erasing her indentity as a famous singer and trying to be some footballer wag! Penarol was De-jonging all the way after the game, SCARY!.

    This is a piece of news that I think worh mentioning, Carlos reaction to Banana thrown on the field while playing with his club honestly brought tears to my eyes, fact that a LEGEND like that who is the best LB in the history of football went out of the pitch with some much anger to point of tearing-up is disgrace, I don't know what is UEFA and FIFA are waiting for to address this issue: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/footba….

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      worth* so much*

    • Gladys says:

      Wow, after going to that link I don't have it in me to laugh at anything above. That video brought tears to my eyes. How terrible for Carlos. I don't blame him for his frustration. It was touching how supportive and comforting his teammates were and I don't want them to suffer because of racist fans, but the team administration (and UEFA and FIFA) need to do something about this. It's disgusting.

      • xoWinnie says:

        i agree. he is a legend and should only be treated as such. this is totally repulsive behaviour.

  18. @BrittanyAFC says:

    i bet a lot of girls at the match would've happily kissed Chicha better!