December 16th, 2008
Off Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week
Kudos to the booking editors at women’s magazines in Spain. First, an insanely delicious Marie Claire photo shoot featuring Iker Casillas hit the shelves last month (sadly, not shelves in any newsagent within 1,000 miles of our hot little hands), and now our F5 number one is on the January cover of Elle magazine, looking fabulously dapper and debonair. We could do without the head- resting- on- chest and fingers- caressing- lapel action of smug Little Miss Lucky Pants, though.
Garden centres are enjoying a boost in their revenues after Cristiano Ronaldo reportedly spent over £6,000 on creating a Christmas grotto for his mansion in Cheshire - we’re talking thousands of twinkly lights, a 6 ft tree in every room – it’s tinsel’s greatest dream come true. In other C-Ron seasonal sweetness, after finding out about a young Portuguese player named Joao Santos auctioning off a pair of the Man Utd star’s boots to earn money for a knee operation, Cristiano stepped in and paid for the op as well as a rehabilitation program.
Selling a kiss-and-tell skanked up story of your sex life with a celebrity isn’t just for girls, you know. Equal rights are enjoying a good week after Cheryl Cole’s ex-boyfriend dished the dirt on how Cheryl dropped his carpet-fitting arse the minute she secured a spot in the Girls Aloud lineup. Last time we checked, part of the pop star trajectory includes dumping any minions and hiring a PR to handle all personal relationships going forward. But never mind, the ex still has his happy memories of sleeping with Cheryl in a cheap motel near Kings Cross:
“Cheryl and I stayed the night in a real fleapit of a place. We were just desperate to get our hands on each other…“My heart was beating 10 to the dozen. Her body was beautiful. She really is stunning. She’s petite and perfectly formed like a little China doll.”
Picking up the shortless torch from our favourite Frenchman, Yoann Gourcuff, Roma’s Mirko Vucinic decided the best way to celebrate his winning goal against Cagliari was to feel the winter breeze on his nethers. God bless you, Mirko.
Sobriety suffers a blow after Inter Milan striker Adriano showed up for training (allegedly) drunk off his arse. He’s now been sent back to Brazil to “rehab an injury” – and regardless of what’s really going on, it looks like he’s going to be experiencing the wrath of a disappointed Jose Mourinho. And you wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Spare a thought for Cheryl Cole’s bandmate, Nicola Roberts, who was snubbed by Louise Redknapp on a recent night out. Nicola, who was so bladdered she didn’t even know what club she was at, asked if she could take up a spot at Louise’s VIP table at the Mahiki club in London. Access: denied. For a sweetie like LR to give you the ‘bitch, please’ in public? That’s a level of drunk and disorderly most of us have never seen.
Ouchie: Big bosses Rafa Benitez (Liverpool) and Philipe Scolari (Chelsea) are suffering from kidney stones and have both been to the hospital recently for treatment. We don’t even want to think about it.