December 16th, 2008

Off Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week



Kudos to the booking editors at women’s magazines in Spain. First, an insanely delicious Marie Claire photo shoot featuring Iker Casillas hit the shelves last month (sadly, not shelves in any newsagent within 1,000 miles of our hot little hands), and now our F5 number one is on the January cover of Elle magazine, looking fabulously dapper and debonair.  We could do without the head- resting- on- chest and fingers- caressing- lapel action of smug Little Miss Lucky Pants, though.

Garden centres are enjoying a boost in their revenues after Cristiano Ronaldo reportedly spent over £6,000 on creating a Christmas grotto for his mansion in Cheshire - we’re talking thousands of twinkly lights, a 6 ft tree in every room – it’s tinsel’s greatest dream come true. In other C-Ron seasonal sweetness, after finding out about a young Portuguese player named Joao Santos auctioning off a pair of the Man Utd star’s boots to earn money for a knee operation, Cristiano stepped in and paid for the op as well as a rehabilitation program.

Selling a kiss-and-tell skanked up story of your sex life with a celebrity isn’t just for girls, you know. Equal rights are enjoying a good week after Cheryl Cole’s ex-boyfriend dished the dirt on how Cheryl dropped his carpet-fitting arse the minute she secured a spot in the Girls Aloud lineup. Last time we checked, part of the pop star trajectory includes dumping any minions and hiring a PR to handle all personal relationships going forward. But never mind, the ex still has his happy memories of sleeping with Cheryl in a cheap motel near Kings Cross:

“Cheryl and I stayed the night in a real fleapit of a place. We were just desperate to get our hands on each other…“My heart was beating 10 to the dozen. Her body was beautiful. She really is stunning. She’s petite and perfectly formed like a little China doll.” 

Picking up the shortless torch from our favourite Frenchman, Yoann Gourcuff, Roma’s Mirko Vucinic decided the best way to celebrate his winning goal against Cagliari was to feel the winter breeze on his nethers. God bless you, Mirko.



Sobriety suffers a blow after Inter Milan striker Adriano showed up for training (allegedly) drunk off his arse. He’s now been sent back to Brazil to “rehab an injury” – and regardless of what’s really going on, it looks like he’s going to be experiencing the wrath of a disappointed Jose Mourinho. And you wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Spare a thought for Cheryl Cole’s bandmate, Nicola Roberts, who was snubbed by Louise Redknapp on a recent night out. Nicola, who was so bladdered she didn’t even know what club she was at, asked if she could take up a spot at Louise’s VIP table at the Mahiki club in London. Access: denied. For a sweetie like LR to give you the ‘bitch, please’ in public? That’s a level of drunk and disorderly most of us have never seen.

Ouchie: Big bosses Rafa Benitez (Liverpool) and Philipe Scolari (Chelsea) are suffering from kidney stones and have both been to the hospital recently for treatment. We don’t even want to think about it.

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27 Responses to “Off Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week”

  1. iolanda says:


  2. Berbie's Barbie says:

    I love Iker!He's always looking fine.

  3. GO says:

    not a RM fan, but I love Iker and glad he's finding his was back to form. and he's yummy. always was, always will be. nice of C-Ron to do that. Xmas is a beautiful time of the year:) and Rafa and Scolari should drink more beer. lots of beer;)

  4. aristeia says:

    Re: Cheryl's ex-boyfriend… despite the trashiness of a tell-all… the remark about his heart pounding is sweet. I think… Tsk tsk, Adriano. Get your sh*t together. Um, I heard about Rafa's stone, but I didn't realize Big Phil had one too! Too much caffeine boys! Seriously though, I got a kidney stone the last week of classes before I graduated college. It practically ruined my life– and it was definitely the worst pain of my life. A co-worker told me she'd rather give birth 1000 more times than have a kidney stone. Ugh. Get well to both the big bosses! I reserve wishing that pain on baby-killers and rapists. *shudders with the memories*

  5. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Yay for Marie Claire and Elle – but that smug cow needs to get off him though!! Nice effort by CRon… how very cheap and trashy of Cheryl’s ex… I fully support this new strip-to-your-undies-on-the pitch trend… and omg yeah Nicola must have been completely 100% trashed if even Louise was a bitch to her… wow.

  6. lose that girl says:

    I love the fact that Cris is so into Christmas this year. It's my fave time of the year so I gotta love others so into it. Plus, he's helping the local economy during these tough times by purchasing all & sundry from that Cheshire garden centre. Oh…one other thing…more magazines should do such stellar fashion spreads with footballers. That is all.lose that girl

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  9. Jo says:

    That was really sweet and generous of Cris to help out the young player.  Thanks for posting that story, Kickette!

    I was hoping that Jose could help Adriano turn his life and game around. :(

  10. Kiki says:

    Cristiano is a very heart kinded person! He’s always up to help someone! I love this!!!

    And about the Xmas madness… He loves Xmas! And he has a lot of kids in his family so he will probably dresss as Santa to entretain them!!


  11. Susie says:

    The Cristiano story doesnt surprise me.

    He’s been doing stuff like that his whole career but some people have been so busy HATING, they’ve never taken notice.

    What ever you may think of his look, Cristiano has good character.

    I still love his little pass to Quaresma, giving him the oppurtunity to score, in the Euro, when the net was wide and he could have done it himself.

    Thats a friend.


  12. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    I'm glad CRon is being charitable, but I still think he's all around trashy. Though I will admit that I think a bit better of him now. I have the Spanish Vogue sitting on the table in the next room.. here's hoping there footballers in that one, though that really wasn't why I got it. I have to agree with everyone applauding the shorts-less celebrating. I watched that game last weekend and it was awesome, even without Vucinic in his undies… but it was definitely a plus.

  13. Dani.Mrs José says:

    i loveeeeeeeeeeeeee iker !! he loooooks hot

  14. truly_thata says:

    Iker and Rafa! I need to take my breath….*sigh* <img src="; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  15. SpaceCowgirl says:

    I'm gonna need a moment alone with that picture of Iker….

  16. Filthygorgeous says:

    Well done C-Ron for being so charitable. Good publicity too in a bid to detract from your man-o'-whore ways. Christmas does bring out the best in people though. The other day, a man in front of us paid for our table's lunch and when we asked why he was doing it he said he was spreading Christmas cheer. I love random acts of kindness. As for the Spanish contingent…muy bueno! Memo to all other magazines…we would like more of this please. As for the one from Girls Aloud who has the skin complexion of a crack addict – fair enough to Mrs Redknapp for moving her along. If some pissed tart tried to gatecrash my table at a bar I'd be less than pleased as well.

  17. Boston Red says:

    Well done, Mirko Vucinic! EPL players really need to pick up on that trend. Stephen Ireland's mangy Superman underwear are not enough! How nice of Cristiano to pay for that boy's knee operation. He has a good heart, no one can argue with that.

  18. carly says:

    I'll see if I can find the spanish ELLE around here…

  19. FootballerChick43 - says:

    On the Iker photoshoot… WOW. That last pic doesn't look like him at all.On C-Ron, I will give him creds on the paying for the kids med stuff. But other than that, no comment.On Cheryl's ex, someone obviously wants some money.On Mirko Vucinic, lol.On Adriano, wow. Thats pathetic and I don't blame Jose at all.On Louise Redknapp's snubbing, hm.On Rafa and Scolari, ow.

  20. lose that girl says:

    Bravo, Cristiano! Not only is he embracing Christmas in an over-the-top shiny way, he has proven that he's generous where it counts. That boy will be back playing footie in no time, thanks to Cris and his kindness. Kinda hard for some folk to call him names now. LOL.I don't blame Louise for the diss on Nicola. Beautiful, talented and a bitch when appropriate. *applauds Louise*The rest…don't really care about. Sorry!lose that girl blog

  21. suzie says:

    Whoever that woman is I want to be her soooooo badly- Iker just keeps looking hotter by the day (not an easy thing to do even for a god). The marie clare photos are breath-taking (i would post the rest but my skills are sadly lacking in that department). As for the removing of shorts trend I’m all for it and it should be made mandatory- in fact lets just do away with them entirely.My god. C-ron HAS a heart, who knew and I hope rafa gets better soon, Kidney stones are so painful.

  22. Dani.Mrs José Manuel Reina (PLQ) says:

    Iker won the Iker V Rafa event

  23. FirstTeamCoach says:

    *THUD* Well done Cris for getting some positive publicity. Good on him for helping that young lad and for keeping a local garden centre in business in this credit crunch times. I am all for the goal celebration trend of short removal to continue. EPL boys – are you listening??? As for the rest, yes Iker is pretty, Cheryl had a life before Girls Aloud and Louise can hold her own. Kidney stones are painful but I will bet that both Rafa and Big Phil have not had to wait on an NHS list for their treatment.

  24. RedGirl (Mrs. Casillas) says:

    Ooooooooooh my God!!!! I’m gonna pass out!!! Íker FFS! He’s looking great, handsome, gorgeous, lovely, adorable and all the kind of words that simbolizes the concept of hotness. Erm, Eugenia honey, you may want to gently take your hand off before I do it… In a not so gentle way =P

  25. Brandy says:

    Cristiano being charity-ous.. that deserves a re-think for F5 for sure no?!

  26. carly says:

    I’ll see if I can find the spanish ELLE around here…

  27. LoveLamps says:

    Ok, Iker is a god. I love him. He’s beautiful and there is no better goalie in the world. I want to be that woman in the photo shoot. In fact, I may print this off and just paste my smiling face over hers. Ah Iker. *bows before Iker* C-Ron, I give you kudos for your warm heart this holiday season. Cheryl is human, well sort of. New rule, hot EPL players who score a goal MUST remove shorts and run around field whilst camera does close up. That is all.