March 3rd, 2009
Good Week/Bad Week: Break-Ups and Baggage Fees
image via Getty
- The number-one rule in packing for a trip is to pack lightly. Obviously heeding this advice, Mrs. Cole arrived to hike 19,340 ft of Mount Kilimanjaro in four-inch Jimmy Choos. It’s day 2 of the climb and already the celebrity climbers are falling over. Time to switch to flats! No, no. That would be morally wrong. Regardless, Cheryl does look fabu without makeup. Let’s hope the lack of oxygen near the top doesn’t affect her complexion.
Giving a proverbial bitch-slap to Cheryl Cole, Jordan and carb-eaters everywhere, Victoria Beckham’s dresses have officially sold out on Net-A-Porter. Looks like she’s proven her clothes are universally liked by women of all ages. Or at least those with a spare $3,000 to drop on a dress. Another big-hitter in VB’s corner? Madonna, who wore one of her latest creations to the Vanity Fair Oscars after-party.
Nocturnal birds of prey
Rio Ferdinand is ready to make an honest woman out of Rebecca Ellison, the mother of his two lovely boys. Guest list is certain to include England teammates/neighbours Wayne Rooney and Wes Brown, and we think the August ceremony is most stalk-worthy. Also invited: ring bearer Ollie the barn owl.
Melanie Slade (Theo Walcott) is earning her keep: she just landed herself a gig in the upcoming Harry Potter movie, hitting big screens 2010. According the The Spoiler: Mel plays a pal of Hermione (Watson) as they watch a game of Quidditch – and she’ll even gets to say some lines. We’re not part of the HP cult, but would imagine this is quite the plum gig.
In what qualifies as an extremely scary situation, last week Manchester United’s Darren Fletcher’s girlfriend and mother-in-law were robbed at knifepoint. Among the missing was his fiancée’s engagement ring. Can we all agree that robbing ballers should come with a minimum mandatory life sentence and daily stiletto-inflicted pain services?
Celtic keeper Artur Boruc is fighting his childhood sweetheart for the naming rights to his son. Traditionalist Boruc wants his son to share his surname but soon-to-be-ex-wife Kasia says nuh-uh and is taking the battle to court./>Guess she’s hit that stage of anger and legal-rage only an adulterous and nasty break up can give.
Although Roman Abramovich’s girlfriend Dasha Zhukova recently announced that she has zero interest in breaking into magazines, she was recently appointed editor of the much loved and respected Pop magazine. The first issue under her editorship will be out in September.
Unsurprisingly, our 2008 Man Whore of the year’s relationship record is not improving. Reality-ho/part-time WAG Chantelle Houghton axed Jermain Defoe ; this weekend citing “trust” issues. Strange that Chantelle would be pulling the “empowerment” card. She worked her spray-tanned arse off to get a baller hook up.