March 3rd, 2009

Good Week/Bad Week: Break-Ups and Baggage Fees

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image via Getty

GOOD WEEK

Strategic packing
- The number-one rule in packing for a trip is to pack lightly. Obviously heeding this advice, Mrs. Cole arrived to hike 19,340 ft of Mount Kilimanjaro in four-inch Jimmy Choos. It’s day 2 of the climb and already the celebrity climbers are falling over. Time to switch to flats! No, no. That would be morally wrong. Regardless, Cheryl does look fabu without makeup. Let’s hope the lack of oxygen near the top doesn’t affect her complexion.

Fashion comebacks
Giving a proverbial bitch-slap to Cheryl Cole, Jordan and carb-eaters everywhere, Victoria Beckham’s dresses have officially sold out on Net-A-Porter. Looks like she’s proven her clothes are universally liked by women of all ages. Or at least those with a spare $3,000 to drop on a dress.  Another big-hitter in VB’s corner? Madonna, who wore one of her latest creations to the Vanity Fair Oscars after-party.

Nocturnal birds of prey
Rio Ferdinand is ready to make an honest woman out of Rebecca Ellison, the mother of his two lovely boys. Guest list is certain to include England teammates/neighbours Wayne Rooney and Wes Brown, and we think the August ceremony is most stalk-worthy. Also invited: ring bearer Ollie the barn owl.

Working WAGs
Melanie Slade (Theo Walcott) is earning her keep: she just landed herself a gig in the upcoming Harry Potter movie, hitting big screens 2010. According the The Spoiler: Mel plays a pal of Hermione (Watson) as they watch a game of Quidditch – and she’ll even gets to say some lines. We’re not part of the HP cult, but would imagine this is quite the plum gig.

BAD WEEK

Baller safety
In what qualifies as an extremely scary situation, last week Manchester United’s Darren Fletcher’s girlfriend and mother-in-law were robbed at knifepoint. Among the missing was his fiancée’s engagement ring.  Can we all agree that robbing ballers should come with a minimum mandatory life sentence and daily stiletto-inflicted pain services?

Parenting
Celtic keeper Artur Boruc is fighting his childhood sweetheart for the naming rights to his son. Traditionalist Boruc wants his son to share his surname but soon-to-be-ex-wife Kasia says nuh-uh and is taking the battle to court./>Guess she’s hit that stage of anger and legal-rage only an adulterous and nasty break up can give.

Public declarations
Although Roman Abramovich’s girlfriend Dasha Zhukova recently announced that she has zero interest in breaking into magazines, she was recently appointed editor of the much loved and respected Pop magazine. The first issue under her editorship will be out in September.

True love
Unsurprisingly, our 2008 Man Whore of the year’s relationship record is not improving. Reality-ho/part-time WAG Chantelle Houghton axed Jermain Defoe ; this weekend citing “trust” issues. Strange that Chantelle would be pulling the “empowerment” card. She worked her spray-tanned arse off to get a baller hook up.

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17 Responses to “Good Week/Bad Week: Break-Ups and Baggage Fees”

  1. Becca says:

    Good Luck To Cheryl :)

  2. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Go VB! and Go Cheryl!! The woman is even hot in hiking gear…. it’s beyond belief… “trust issues” BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  3. Vlada says:

    Good for VB, some of the dresses are lovely. Not sure about Dasha since she has zero editorial experience but I can't blame Pop for going for the money in this economy.

  4. Johnna says:

    Ugh, Melanie Slade stay out of my Harry Potter movies!!

  5. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Who the hell shows up to climb a mountain in Jimmy Choos? Besides Victoria Beckham…On VBeck's dress collection, they were effing gorgeous, I'll give her that…On Rio getting married, congrats.On Melanie Slade, woah.On Darren Fletcher's wife and mother-in-law, thats terrible! Hope they're all okay…On Artur Boruc's kid, jeez. Poor kid.On Roman's girlfriend, well… at least she's working.On Jermaine Defoe, not surprised.

  6. lose that girl says:

    Maybe Melanie Slade can hitch a role in Rio's wedding too. Get it?lose that girl blog

  7. Posh says:

    Gorgeous Cheryl!!!

  8. Ernie says:

    Madonna wore one of VB dresses at the W Magazine spread, not at the Vanity Fair party. smile

    Poor Chantelle, am I supposed to feel bad for either of them? Because I don’t.

  9. Miss I.T says:

    exactly!

  10. Der Lutscher says:

    I do like Melanie Slade, but since when does Hermione have girl pals and even watch Quidditch with them is a mystery to me…

  11. Dani.Mrs José says:

    nothing interesting this week :( but LOL De-hoe !!

  12. HoneyBee says:

    Some women only buy VB clothes because they want to show it around in front of others. Melanie Slade will get to say two sentences in a film and people are saying that she has a career!Ha ha. Feel sorry about Fletcher's family-maybe ballers should invest part of their money and hire some people to guard their homes all the time. Boruc is hot-but he cheated on his girlfriend while she was pregnant so no wonder she is angry-idiot. Jermaine Defoe if over-rated baller and I think we are all sick of his trashy girlfriends-he is trashy too.

  13. carly says:

    Jermaine De-hoe makes me sick :(

  14. lose that girl says:

    Posh may have managed to peddle a few frocks but her DVB jeans line was turfed out of Saks and other US retailers due to lack of sales. Perhaps all the richy riches who can afford to plonk down $4,000 smackers for one of her dresses are just trying to grasp some of the Becks magic for themselves & perhaps schooze a little to gain some much coveted column inches while they're at it — while the real life working women who would be buying DVB jeans can't be arsed. They can't schmooze with her to gain favour or anything so it comes down to the product being just plain crap. Now to what I really care about… Rio and Fletch. The owl thing is just so silly. I'd be fearful of that bird crapping whilst flying over my gown or landing with its talons all a fury in my up-do. Rio love, you should rethink that one.Fletch…I feel so bad for him and his missus. Horrible — to be dragged around your home by a thug holding a knife to your throat. Luckily her kiddies didn't see anything. Hope they catch that scum soon.lose that girl blog

  15. Dani.Mrs José Manuel Reina (PLQ) says:

    :O at the Knife-point robbery that is just wrong im sick of all the baller robberies !

  16. Dreamgirl says:

    Agreed Carly!

    The knife point robbery was just horrendous. I hope some kind of task force will tackle this trend.

    I love Harry Potter. So what’s Melanie doing in it? It lowers the tone :(

    As for the owl at Rio’s wedding, fabulous. Plus it’s about time he makes an honest woman out of Rebecca.

  17. carly says:

    Jermaine De-hoe makes me sick :(