March 26th, 2012

Hand, Meet Ball: Mesut Ozil, Real Madrid

short tent Real Madrid Germany touchy feely

Mesut Ozil was the latest victim of the increasingly popular crotch grab – a technique we occasionally employ in our own dealings with players. Images: PIERRE-PHILIPPE MARCOU/AFP/Getty Images, REUTERS/Vincent Kessler.

The crotch grab as a disabling tactic was first utilised by Wimbledon’s Vinny Jones against Gazza in 1988 and since that time, many illustrious players have fallen victim to it’s startling simplicity and effectiveness.

We’re extremely keen on discovering how to successfully execute said technique, since we repeatedly try a similar move on males out on the town to no avail. We can’t help but feel that it’s increasing use on the pitch today must be connected to the number of footballers who’ve fallen victim to our roving band of staffers and their merciless manicures.

You think it’s worth us claiming it on behalf of the Kickette Army? The crotch grab is inevitably going to become yet another controversial talking point when some high profile dude gets pictured with his bits caught in a vice-like grip, and we need to strike now to ensure we get in on the ground floor.

So to speak.

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9 Responses to “Hand, Meet Ball: Mesut Ozil, Real Madrid”

  1. WooHoo says:

    Get away from my Ozil you Pedophile!!

  2. Rainbowslollipops says:

    Is it bad that I analyzed the picture??….what game was this? Maybe I can analyze the clip hahaha

    • Hi there – please pick one username (LizzyMadrid, TheRamos, TheOzil or Rainbowslollipops) and stick to it for all comments moving forward or else your IP will be blocked. Cheers.

  3. Rainbowslollipops says:

    OOOOOhhhh so THAT'S what you do when a hot guy trips by you!!! Nice way to get to 3rd base!

  4. TheOzil says:

    Thats Right, I'll take my Ozil with balls on hand!!

  5. TheRamos says:

    Nice really nice!

  6. Vanessa says:

    awwkward…imagine if you were Mesut and just chilling with Cristiano and that pic came up…you would never live it down lol

  7. chay says:

    omg I love that pic of Bambi getting crotch grabbed! The formation of the hand, your eyes are immediately drawn toward that finger-spread action!

  8. Céline says:

    Olivieerrrrrrr is my new crush haha damn this man is just too hot to handle <3