March 26th, 2012
Hand, Meet Ball: Mesut Ozil, Real Madrid
Mesut Ozil was the latest victim of the increasingly popular crotch grab – a technique we occasionally employ in our own dealings with players. Images: PIERRE-PHILIPPE MARCOU/AFP/Getty Images, REUTERS/Vincent Kessler.
The crotch grab as a disabling tactic was first utilised by Wimbledon’s Vinny Jones against Gazza in 1988 and since that time, many illustrious players have fallen victim to it’s startling simplicity and effectiveness.
We’re extremely keen on discovering how to successfully execute said technique, since we repeatedly try a similar move on males out on the town to no avail. We can’t help but feel that it’s increasing use on the pitch today must be connected to the number of footballers who’ve fallen victim to our roving band of staffers and their merciless manicures.
You think it’s worth us claiming it on behalf of the Kickette Army? The crotch grab is inevitably going to become yet another controversial talking point when some high profile dude gets pictured with his bits caught in a vice-like grip, and we need to strike now to ensure we get in on the ground floor.
So to speak.