December 18th, 2007
Happy Rooney Holidays
Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin are on the cover of the new HELLO! magazine letting us into their world of obsene wealth and fluffiness. Best add this issue to your Christmas list – urgently. These are photos you don’t want to miss. Need help articulating this vision of holiday joy? Loyal Kickette Lyzette emailed us her take:
“Why is there a harsh spotlight just on their faces? To distract from the satanic-looking candles in the supposed-to-be-snow fluff? Are they visiting the snow-covered grave site of Liberace (doubtful—there is no snow in Vegas but who could blame me for thinking so with those candelabras?) Also, wouldn’t candles sitting in fluffy snow melt it?“
So harsh, so true. Apologies to the Liberace estate for the insults.
Main item of interest in the feature story is that since England is out of you-know-what next year, Wayne is free to marry Coleen in June. They swear it will be a low key occasion. In WAG-speak, that means only 40 horse-drawn carriages and three changes of clothing during the wedding ceremony. Wayne summed up the wedding planning best:
“When we [England] failed to qualify, as devastating as that was, we were able to come up with some firm dates,“ explains 22-year-old Wayne. “So I guess there is some up side to it.“