July 9th, 2007

Hoochie City Open for Business

We continue our updates with a WAGfest of ho’s, hoochie mamas and skanks.

Two stories are out today about Cristiano Ronaldo‘s girlfriend (?), Gemma Atkinson and Danielle Lloyd (soon to be christened she-who-shall-not-be-named).

Apparently Gemma Atkinson has been getting it on behind Ronaldo’s back with fellow Man U mate, Alan Smith.  Smith would make late night booty calls to Gemma when his girlfriend Holly Worthington was away, and Gemma would sneak over to Smith’s apt.  Gemma is reportedly desperate to hang on to Ronaldo (duh) and has been trying to keep things on the hush.  She’s denied all allegations.

We say: everything we hear about this girl is a) gross b) skankalicious and c) probably a lie, so proceed with slagging her off with caution. 

As for SWSNBN, Danielle Lloyd, believe every nasty story you hear, this girl has issues.  Latest is that she has hooked up with rapper 50 Cent, who is so into her he’s going to fly her to New York and reportedly feature her in his next video: British Wannabe Ho’s R the Best Ho’s

Well, we’re not sure of the exact song title, but it will be something along those lines, we’re certain.  Some say 50’s bedding technique is frequently based on telling girls they will star in his next video.

A story is also out about Danielle admitting to a passionate affair with Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton when she was a teenager. At the time she was two-timing him with Shaun Walker, who is currently in a Spanish jail over a gangland shootout. 

Link: Ronaldo’s Girlfriend Denies Cheating
Link: Bestotted Rapper 50 Cent
Link: Lewis Went Round the Bend

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9 Responses to “Hoochie City Open for Business”

  1. m.a says:

    if i were her i would have sleep with alan coz he is wayyyyyyy hotter than c.ronaldo

  2. DRE@M*LOVER says:

    I THINK GEMMA IS A HO!!!!! SHE S A PLAYER AND I THINK ITS BEST TO STAY AWAY FROM CRISTIANO BECAUSE IM HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!11

  3. Natasha says:

    What the hell is a WAG???

  4. Orangina says:

    I know Alan well and he was on a break from a long term relationship when he went on a couple of dates with Gemma but nothing particularly scandal-worthy happened. Alan’s no saint don’t get me wrong but Gemma has been pulling out all the stops ever since she left Hollyoaks to do a Danielle Lloyd and get linked with as many footballers and cringeworthy “stars” as possible to promote her latest boob-flash or barely there knicker promotion in FHM and the likes. Funny how Mr Smith has kept a dignified silence on the subject and she’s been protesting like butter wouldn’t melt – I think half the stories are as souped up as the Beckham’s “exclusives” in Hello and the likes. I worked at PA for a while on work experience you wouldn’t believe the amount of editing of stories that goes on, well before they hit the shelves. Alan is a private guy and has always let the football do the talking, for that he’s been punished at a bigger club where the paparazzi will hunt you down and speculate forever more about the slightest thing. I hope blokes read the NOTW article and think crikey I better keep away from this one!! All publicity is good publicity for people like Gemma, deep down she’s loving it!

  5. Robin says:

    Ah man – I like that brand of jam.

  6. Paula says:

    Wouldn’t it be hysterical if the new Premiership season was delayed by a week because half of it’s players (we know who you are!!) contracted herpes???!! LOL LOL

  7. Helena says:

    Gemma and Danielle are just desperate wag wannabe whores.
    I hope they both get herpes.

  8. carly says:

    (sigh)
    Is there a rehab clinic for wannabe wags? These two need it desperately.
    Is she promoting jam in her bra? :(

  9. application outsourcing says:

    A fine figure of a woman! i just wish the tits were real. apart from that she’s gorgeous though. and it’s a refreshing change she’s not too skinny.