May 2nd, 2011

Hot Sweats, Smooches & Shaved Heads: Borussia Dortmund’s Title Celebrations

Bundesliga title celebration

Image Credit: Getty Images.

If you missed it earlier in our Weekend Results recap, Borussia Dortmund was crowned Bundesliga league champs with a 2-0 win at home against Nuremberg. Considering this is the club’s first German league title since 2002, we assumed these boys would honour our historic tradition of full time chest festivities with pride.

Disturbingly, nary a bare torso could be seen on the pitch. We.Were.Shocked. Stunned and apalled, even.  So much so that we filed a formal complaint with the German Football Association.

Turns out, processing of such requests requires us to have the patience of a patron saint. Those who know us well can easily vouch for our crew’s need for instant gratification, so instead of waiting like mature adults would, we’re taking the lemons the picture gods have ruthlessly pegged at our tainted livers and making spiked BVB lemonade.

Sealed with a Kiss – Mats Hummels

Taking a different route than Queens Park Rangers did following their Premier League promotion also this weekend, Dortmund defender/cutie Mats Hummels went for the ‘sign, sealed and delivered’ makeout approach to victory (lead image, above). Nothing says ‘I’m better than you; go eat turf suckaaass’ than swallowing your lovely-looking girlfriend’s tongue whole on the pitch.


End of season celebrations

Image Credit: PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images.

The Bald & The Beautiful – Kevin Grosskreutz

Elsewhere, striker KG (right) was full of happiness upon realising how much water and physical energy he can conserve by abstaining from daily shampoo treatments (thanks to teammate Felipe Santana’s conveniently accessible clippers).


Image Credit: PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images.

The Human Fan – Jakub Blaszczykowski & Nuri Sahin

The Polish striker, clearly suffering from extreme heat exhaustion due to the amount of cloth covering his sweaty skin, sought to create his own man-made wind tunnel using injured teammate Nuri as his personal propeller.


It’s scenes such as these, Kickettes, that make us yearn for the annual end of season ‘bubba parade. As we look for a cute countdown calendar for the Kellys to hang in their Mayhem & Fruit Beverages Suite, we congratulate the boys of Borussia Dortmund on their professional accomplishments, but not their personal shirt shortcomings.

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12 Responses to “Hot Sweats, Smooches & Shaved Heads: Borussia Dortmund’s Title Celebrations”

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  2. Sara says:

    Can anyone ID her bag? i love it

  3. JA7 says:

    Omggg the first pic is sooo cute! Oh how i wish one day i cud marry a footballer and have a moment like this.. *sigh*

  4. genna says:


  5. bluubb says:

    i heard rumours that real madrid wants to buy nuri!!!!
    very lovely team
    and the coach is sooooo adorable…..and f*cking crazy :D
    i hope for more titles !!!!
    go dortmund

  6. Gladys says:

    Damn, there's all kinds of manly gorgeousness on that team! All superficiality aside though, congratulations to them!

  7. elephantmousie says:

    congrats to Dortmund,they've deserved it! plus great celebration:D

  8. AnnaBlume says:

    Thank you, kickette! :)
    To be fair, there were a bubbas and naked chests, I'll post links later.

  9. GigiSantaCruz says:

    * What a sweet pic.. The smaller one, I mean… HAHAHA.. I kid, I kid..
    * Mats and his girlfriend surely 'got it on' as only Marvin Gave could, didn't they? (i checked the " lovely-looking girlfriend’s tongue" link).. Good for them, bad for us, mere mortals who don't have a baller to call ours!!!
    * Nuri is such a cutie!! And kindda funny being used as a human fan!!!
    * Congrats to Borussia Dortmund!!!!

  10. naylovee says:

    why can't i have a love like this?!?!