May 2nd, 2011
Hot Sweats, Smooches & Shaved Heads: Borussia Dortmund’s Title Celebrations
Image Credit: Getty Images.
If you missed it earlier in our Weekend Results recap, Borussia Dortmund was crowned Bundesliga league champs with a 2-0 win at home against Nuremberg. Considering this is the club’s first German league title since 2002, we assumed these boys would honour our historic tradition of full time chest festivities with pride.
Disturbingly, nary a bare torso could be seen on the pitch. We.Were.Shocked. Stunned and apalled, even. So much so that we filed a formal complaint with the German Football Association.
Turns out, processing of such requests requires us to have the patience of a patron saint. Those who know us well can easily vouch for our crew’s need for instant gratification, so instead of waiting like mature adults would, we’re taking the lemons the picture gods have ruthlessly pegged at our tainted livers and making spiked BVB lemonade.
Sealed with a Kiss – Mats Hummels
Taking a different route than Queens Park Rangers did following their Premier League promotion also this weekend, Dortmund defender/cutie Mats Hummels went for the ‘sign, sealed and delivered’ makeout approach to victory (lead image, above). Nothing says ‘I’m better than you; go eat turf suckaaass’ than swallowing your lovely-looking girlfriend’s tongue whole on the pitch.
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Image Credit: PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images.
The Bald & The Beautiful – Kevin Grosskreutz
Elsewhere, striker KG (right) was full of happiness upon realising how much water and physical energy he can conserve by abstaining from daily shampoo treatments (thanks to teammate Felipe Santana’s conveniently accessible clippers).
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Image Credit: PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images.
The Human Fan – Jakub Blaszczykowski & Nuri Sahin
The Polish striker, clearly suffering from extreme heat exhaustion due to the amount of cloth covering his sweaty skin, sought to create his own man-made wind tunnel using injured teammate Nuri as his personal propeller.
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It’s scenes such as these, Kickettes, that make us yearn for the annual end of season ‘bubba parade. As we look for a cute countdown calendar for the Kellys to hang in their Mayhem & Fruit Beverages Suite, we congratulate the boys of Borussia Dortmund on their professional accomplishments, but not their personal shirt shortcomings.
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Can anyone ID her bag? i love it
Omggg the first pic is sooo cute! Oh how i wish one day i cud marry a footballer and have a moment like this.. *sigh*
WHERE IS THE BUBBAS ? I WANT BUBBAS xD
i heard rumours that real madrid wants to buy nuri!!!!
very lovely team
and the coach is sooooo adorable…..and f*cking crazy
i hope for more titles !!!!
go dortmund
Damn, there's all kinds of manly gorgeousness on that team! All superficiality aside though, congratulations to them!
congrats to Dortmund,they've deserved it! plus great celebration:D
Thank you, kickette!
To be fair, there were a bubbas and naked chests, I'll post links later.
That was, of course, supposed to say "were a FEW bubbas and naked chests"
Anyway, here are the promised links:
Bubbas (not too many of them, but not really surprising considering the kindergarten that is the BVB squad):
Kehl with his: http://princessayya.tumblr.com/tagged/Sebastian_K…
Zidan's little one: http://tinyurl.com/69537uu
Nekkidness:
Neven: http://teetime-pntp.tumblr.com/post/5131394787 http://tinyurl.com/64wgcpr
Mario Götze: http://teetime-pntp.tumblr.com/post/5129859425/ma…
More smooches:
Mario Götze and Nuri Sahin: http://tampolaibloodesen.tumblr.com/post/50980472…
Neven Subotic and Kevin "the prettiest man in Germany" Großkreutz: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jb3RFN7AzA
More Neven awesomeness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYDW4tDN_6U
As always, thanks for your links Ms. Flower. Mighty thanks to Kickette for this post!
* What a sweet pic.. The smaller one, I mean… HAHAHA.. I kid, I kid..
* Mats and his girlfriend surely 'got it on' as only Marvin Gave could, didn't they? (i checked the " lovely-looking girlfriend’s tongue" link).. Good for them, bad for us, mere mortals who don't have a baller to call ours!!!
* Nuri is such a cutie!! And kindda funny being used as a human fan!!!
* Congrats to Borussia Dortmund!!!!
why can't i have a love like this?!?!