November 27th, 2007

Hottie or Nottie?: Alan Smith

Well, that’s not entirely true.  We do see the large pay cheque, and the abs of steel which certainly go a long way in our always ethical book of judgment. Plus, 95% of the time, we can’t deal with his hair.

But, the beauty of the game is that there is something out there for everyone.  Let the Kickette soldier girls decide:  Is Newcastle’s Alan Smith a hottie or not?


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64 Responses to “Hottie or Nottie?: Alan Smith”

  1. Toon lad says:

    Any lad would suck him off given an opportunity
    There is something so sexy about him.

  2. Kiran says:

    Smithy is amazing and pure perfection

    I’d do anything the lad wanted me to do – he’s a walking ####-doll!

  3. nikki says:

    he is a hottie, u aint got nooooo taste lol i know am right cos ive fucked im. best eva. u only thing he is a nottie cos ya want im. ask im bout the night at the conrad. was great. admire xxxx

  4. ashley-x says:

    Alan Smith is wayy hott! <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue laugh" style="border:0;" />
    butt for mee he hass to have hiss hair no matter what colour cause without it he just looks terrrible!!

  5. Torz and Pip in DT! says:

    I Bet I Can Run Faster Than Him

    Hee Looks A Bit Of Tubster :D



  6. Pippi says:

    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" /> Yum Yum <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

    I Love Him!
    Likee Seriouslyy <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

    Pippi gould Is In Lovee <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />


  7. Piip...:) says:

    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" /> Errmm Noo! I Think the girl sittting to the left of mee is extremely sexual!! Noo Footballers are Hottiees. The girl sitting by me by the way is caslled Nottie!!

  8. charleeee says:

    sometimes when i think of this lad, he makes me turn straight.
    as im a lesbian
    but now i have 2nd thoughts;)

    wit wooo
    hottieee yes pleaseee

  9. Paulina says:

    real HOTTIE ! <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  10. Rusty says:

    I haven’t turned on my computer in almost three weeks so I saw this late.

    uhhh…I like?

    but as of Saturday he seems to have a dead fox pelt on his head!

    my keyword: reason64!

  11. AnnaD says:

    i LOVE the Smudger…first fell in love with him when he was just a wee lad at Leeds, the passionate badboy thing was just too adorable…then we fell out a bit when he went to The Scum…but now we’re loving him all over again…yes, he’s a bit wee in the height department, but you can’t argue with those thighs and abs…ho, baby

  12. <3 JT says:

    john terry is the bestest ever!!!!
    nd hardly anybody else agree’s with me
    i rlly cant understand what ppl c in ronaldo i cant stand im he’s so arrogant!!!
    alan smith is a hottie nd he’s a northen lad wooo

  13. <3 says:

    H3’S A D3FO HOTTI3 :D

  14. Gina says:

    Elise, I’m totally with ya! John Terry has that restless wild animal thing about him, makes me wanna rip his clothes off <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

  15. c9 says:

    NOTTIE! I have to agree with Kickette…he has never really…DONE IT for me <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="hmmm" style="border:0;" />

  16. charlotte says:

    I think hes really good looking although i agree that sometimes his hair looks stupid. i have no idea how you find frank lampard more attractive than alan smith.

  17. michelle says:

    A total NOTTIE.  C’mon girls (and perhaps the odd male here and there), we’re talking football players so the standards are VERY high.  We all know that most of them have it goin’ on underneath the jersey so it’s the face that really matters.

    My conclusion on Alan Smith – a regular guy, a NOTTIE on kickette.

  18. Elise says:

    Okay, relating to the Frank comments above, there are several players that I like, or that I think are ‘interesting’, but the only two that I’m mad for are John Terry and Frank Lampard.  Now- the confession.  In the beginning I only had eyes for JT.  I just did not see the Frank thing either!  And then, one day, it was just there.  It’s like I woke up one morning in full-on lust for Frank and now I cannot imagine how I didn’t see it before.  Seriously- can’t imagine. For me now, it depends which day it is which one I’m more psycho for, or what I’m in the mood for- Frank if it’s sentimental, intellectual lustiness or John if I just want to have fun and get freaky! (Though both would probably be good for either one.) John makes me want to have his babies and I don’t even want babies- oh the power of the alpha-male!! Hmmm, perhaps this is oversharing a bit.  Had one too many in the pub downstairs at my hotel! Must quickly post before thinking better of it!  Cheers!;)

  19. RedGirl says:

    With bleached hair, with natural hair, with no hair at all… Alan Smith is DAMN HOT!!! And his accent, OMG!!! Love it!!

    I been thinking about what makes him hot and, the only way I can say it, it’s because he is cute in a “normal way” (if you can call it like that), he’s not one of those “pretty boys” (Becks for example) that everyone see and love immediatly… I don’t know if you understand it the way I expressed it, my english it’s kinda crappy <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="red face" style="border:0;" />

    BTW charlotte you’re not the only one who doesn’t see the fascination with Lamps… I just don’t get it but that’s why we have such a variety of players: so everybody can find something good in each of them <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue wink" style="border:0;" />

  20. carly says:

    Oh yeah smile

  21. charlotte says:

    Im sorry, <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="red face" style="border:0;" /> i just dont see the facination with frank lampard at all.

  22. MrsJamieRedknapp says:

    Oh a deffo hottie.  The whole bad boy thing is a definite plus.  Add in the bleached hair and he’s hot hot hot.

  23. Sarah x says:

    Hottie With Hair.. Nottie Without It .. But Overall I Think HOTTIE (Y)
    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  24. Becca x says:

    HOTTIE DEFFO! I Love Him… Only When He Has Hair When He Shaved It Off It Looked Horrible.. but Its Grown Back Now And Its All Good <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  25. bianca says:

    HOTTIE!!! I’m a united fan so this has nothing to do with the fact that he plays for Newcastle (and to me a guy is either hot or he isn’t and it really isn’t dependant on what club he plays for) the guy is seriously SEXY and I can’t put my finger on why exactly, especially since he’s made some serious hair mistakes, but i think its definetly something to do with the bad boy attitude and those to-die-for-abs! I mean, when he was playing for united (and AHEM alongside Cristiano ronaldo) i have to admit i was kinda distracted by cristiano (and there really is no comparison between the two) but i was seriouly pissed off when he left united so Cris or no Cris i’m definetly seeing the hotness <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

  26. Sarah x says:

    Omg Charlotte.. How Can You Not Think Frank Lampard Is More Attractive Than Alan Smith.. Im Ashamed <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" /> Jkzz x

  27. Drea says:

    I used to love him when he was at United. Now the appeal has seemed to equal of what Newcastle means to me. But he’s still kinda cute.

  28. Momy says:

    yes, he’s hottie…is THE hottie for me! I just love him

  29. kaya says:

    The pecs behind him are better. I’d probably smile at him if I saw him in the street, but I do have higher standards when it comes to football eye candy. Of course, I’m just judging from pictures, I might like him better if I saw his “on-field demeanor”.

  30. Just Me says:

    There are better than him, but he’s really good! To me rather hottie.

  31. tammyv says:

    Smudger = sex on a stick (or actually on barcodes).  I will tell you that until he put on the Toon Stripe, I was with you Kickette.  I liked the abs and the paycheck and the even the mischievous badboy charm, but seriously he joined my club and stole my heart. 

    I LOVE the Smudge now.  I cheer every dumbass tackle for a yellow and and giddy by his naughty smile.

    (passcode word: want74)

  32. saintscholes says:

    those frosted locks are a little too boy band for my taste. becks aside, any man who has the time to focus strategically on the arch of his gelled faux hawk could probably stand to be on the pitch running some more drills. bet he’d look hotter with some dirt smeared across his face and a black eye, ronaldo style. <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  33. candace says:


  34. cesc's lil bird says:

    That man is sexy, undoubtably! Smudge, with the hair and all (abs and thighs of thunder included), is hot! No argument. Anyone gonna question my judgement?

  35. RedGirl says:

    To me he’s a real hottie!!!

    Don’t know exactly why… Maybe the abs, the way he smiles and I’m sure that the “bad boy” attitude has something to do…

  36. Shannon says:

    I love his boyish good looks.  His smile makes me melt.  Most of all his bod is to die for.  I am head over heals in lust with him.  I wish I lived in the UK to see him play in person.

  37. ches says:

    Hot hot hot! :D I still like his bleached blond hair though. And I place great emphasis on the word “hair” because the time he had shaved his head was mortifying!

  38. freddiegirl says:

    I’ve been a quiet Alan Smith fan for awhile; used to to watch him when he was with Leeds…:)

  39. Nina says:

    HOTTIE! Who can realy doubt that! He is sexy, cute, gorgeous!
    Definitly the sexiest Footballer in England if not the World <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

  40. Portia says:

    i’m gonna gonna go with hottie.

  41. Elise says:

    None for me, thanks.

  42. Blair says:


    Any guy that can steal Cristiano Ronaldo’s girl obviously has something to desire.

    Personally, I find him more attractive in the white and blue of Newcastle over the awful crimson of Man U.  But that’s just my INCREDIBLY biased opinion.

  43. LoveLamps says:

    Nottie.  Frank is still #1 with me.

  44. la_belle_anarchist says:


    I myself, LURVE the Smithy. I worship the ground his abs-o-steel walk upon. Although I do agree, I hate his hair most of the time too.

  45. joeycole<3 says:

    hes defo a hottie!!
    i dont get what you
    dont see in him
    those eyessss
    that hair
    strong jaw
    nd most of all
    that buff bod!
    hes like well hot!
    and the no nonsense tough man
    thing hes got going on

  46. jazzspazz says:

    hes definately a sex god hes so fit and strong love those foolish tackles he makes .

  47. AC says:

    well, let me think about that real quick…HELL NO!
    most def a nottie!

  48. Michelle says:

    He is a hottie! I think its the bad boy thing going for him and his abs

  49. Cherry says:

    I have been a Smudger fan for years. Hated he was a Manc and very happy he’s left there. Give me the bleached spiked hair every day. Take off that kit. He’s hot and the bad boy attitude just adds to it. Close cut hair, natural color…blah..But yeah…love me some Smudger.

  50. ella says:


  51. Gina says:

    Alan Smith? For me, not so much.

    But anybody know the guy in the background of that second pic?? Now them’s some pecs!!

  52. Jackie L. says:

    Definitely NOT!
    I just don’t get it.

    But…that’s okay…more Owen Hargreaves for me!

  53. laura x says:

    He’s a beautiful, sexalicious, gorgeous man! shame he left man u for newcastle tho- there shorts are loads longer <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="wink" style="border:0;" />

  54. tammyv says:

    Charlotte, he had to shave it off because he got knocked in the head and it required stitches. 

    At least part of his hair had to be shaved for them and so thinking about the importance in which we hold hair; he did the right thing, shaved it all.

  55. Charlotte x says:

    Omg!! I Lovee Him So Much. I Nearly Cried When He Shaved His Hair Off! He Looked Horrible!! But Its Growing Back Now So Hes Deffo A Hottie (Y)!

  56. Charlotte x says:

    Oops.. Sorry I Dint Mean To Send It Twicee! Haha

  57. Charlotte x says:

    Omg!! I Lovee Him So Much. I nearly cried When He Shaved His Hair Off! he Looked Horrible!! But Its Groing Back Now So Hes Deffo A Hottie (Y)!

  58. Johnna says:

    HOT HOT HOT. God I love me some Smudger.

  59. SuzyQ says:

    N – to the O – to the T


  60. Robin says:

    NOT! He’s arrogant, I hate the way he hassles refs and he’s not even attractive.

  61. Michaela says:

    Nottie!!  He looks like a 6 year old with a 25 year old’s body.  He could never pull off the blonde look && he looks just normal with brown hair.  He’s not a hottie to me.

  62. Shelley says:

    Deffo a HOTTIE!! But remember that the second pic is from his days at Leeds and he’s WWAAAYYY fitter now!!! Whistle for a hottie, woo, woo, woo, woo!!!

  63. brandy says:

    NOTTIE. I’m with you Ms Kickette. I just don’t see it.

    He is really just a poor girl’s Becks and his muscles are all unbalanced. It looks like he has nice arms and I’m sure has the gross over developed footballer’s thunder thighs, but he as NO pectoral muscles and just reminds me of a boy entering puberty. Gross.

  64. PamWWFCx says:

    Hottie, no doubt about it x