January 15th, 2008

Hottie or Nottie: Nicolas Anelka

Although Nicolas Anelka has hovered in and out of our sizzle radar in the past, we’ve never been fully able to commit.

Not sure why, but there was always this sense of ennui about him. We liked the no hair/beard combo but to be honest, we lost interest just after Nico’s Arsenal days, which were about 40 years – and teams – ago. 

Now that he’s joined the Chelsea squad – a team who definitely gives good thigh, we’re wondering if we need to reassess, especially after receiving a rather interesting (old? new?) promo image from our girl Laurie at The Offside which gave us great pause and left us in the mood for a cigarette and a nightcap. And we don’t even smoke.

Click through to see what we’re talking about.

Anyhoo, as always, we pass the torch of blatant and offensive objectification to you, dear readers.  We ask: is new blue Nico a hottie or nottie? 


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53 Responses to “Hottie or Nottie: Nicolas Anelka”

  1. kickette says:

    Comments on this post are now closed.

    Please let us remind everyone of our policy in the About Us section.  We respect all of our readers right to their opinions and support conflicting comments or ideas, however this one has gone weirdly and boringly out of hand.

    For the record, if something is stated in the comments that you think is inappropriate, email us so we can remove it rather than letting it carry on in our beloved forum of all-races-all -the-time objectification. Otherwise the entire comments for a post will end up getting shut down or we will contemplate hiring a large, unattractive and smelly overly PC moderator.

  2. saraaah says:

    woow..aint it very funny how you only picked on my insultive comments not their’s..when in fact they started it..if this is how you have fun then dont expect everyone to find comments such as “plz am tryin to have my lucnh” funny..loads of people said that he’s a nottie but she had to use that comment..which i found very offensive and i had to let her know that..i find that there is no problem with that what so ever..


    i disagree.. because the comment that was made is not a very nice comment..people should express their opinions in a way that will not hurt or piss off other people..and by using that comment she did for sure..

    my personal opinion

  3. Laurie says:

    I myself am FAR too old and married to address the hottie/nottie question.  (At least in public under my own name and site address.) 

    But I will say that the second photo brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “well-oiled machine.“

  4. Sasha says:

    Those are some pretty funny comments, made me laugh at work, which is unusual.
    Anyway, Sarah i dont really think that Lose That Girl was being racist, i think you took her comment the wrong way!

    But i agree with you, she was very rude, how dare she claim hes a Nottie!

  5. jax says:

    Whoa ! What’s going on – not used to this kind of serious falling out on my lovely Kickette ! Spot on Brandy – we love this site because we can be sarky/snarky about a whole range of footie subjects but it is always in good fun and none of us would tolerate anyone saying anything blatently racist.

    Personally I think he’s a nottie, nottie because he’s black but because I don’t find him attractive, just as I don’t find David Beckham or Cristiano Ronaldo attractive! Nothing to do with race just personal opinion…..

  6. brandy says:

    OK – I am coming out of radio silence for this. Saraaah, if you were a regular of this site you would know that personally insulting any poster is not accepted here.
    This is an “in good fun” site, as is made obvious by the blogs posted here.
    We are all entitled to our opinions here and respect them, even if we sometimes disagree on who is hot or not, fashionable or not, etc. We will tease one another for our opinions, but not insult. If you can’t play along nicely…

  7. saraaah says:

    lose that…

    who gives a damn about him being a hottie or a nottie…the thing is the comment you made was bang out of order mate…and if your little groupies will support you in this ..know for sure that i dont give two f**** about it…and trust me stranger if anyone is ignorant in this place itz the likes of you…about “am havin my lunch” how pathetic is that…DAMN!!

    kaya …now i dont even know if you were tryin to be funny or so..i think the comment your little friend made was blatant enough!….and if i really didnt make sense then how the f*** did u understand me you stupid thing…am not going to be like you making posts just to correct my self….cuz i dont need to prove to anyone that i can type english…thicko

    sasha…i appreciate your opinion..but to me that comment was racist..and wrong ..

  8. The Fourth Official says:

    A study is needed:  by what X factor does a baller’s attractiveness increase *if* he is playing for one’s team?  5X? 10X?  By what factor does it drop, if said player cheats on girlfriend/stomps on opposing player’s crotch/signs for opposition?

  9. Elise says:

    I have to go with ‘nottie’ on the hotness thing, although I must say his looks have improved now that he’s in Chelsea blue!!  LOL I am quite happy about *that* little purchase.  I do wish he could have scored in his first game though, but he came oh so close.  A great debut, altogether.  I will continue to monitor any changes in hotness.

  10. klyn312 says:

    you are reading my mind kaya- I’m defo seing a bit of 2-Pac here-  tongue laugh

  11. kaya says:

    Woops, I should have said “blatant and offsensive objectification.
    Of course you knew I was referring to the original post, right?
    Kickette, you let us sit for too long with no new material. Look at what you’ve done!

  12. LoveLamps says:

    I’m feeling hottie.  He’s with the Blues now after all and that increases the attractiveness factor by at least 50%!

  13. kaya says:

    Is this an appropriate time to mention I think we need more blatantly offensive objectification of black men on this site?

    Tee hee.

    Seriously, no one’s taking this “saraaah of limited english capacity” seriously. I wouldn’t bother wasting keystrokes being logical with someone who barely makes any sense.

    Unless she calls you sweety, of course…

  14. michelle TN says:

    1st picture – potential hottie
    2nd picture – good body but not a hottie

    I don’t really think Anelka looks like 2pac b/c 2pac was one fine specimen.  I won’t give Anelka the “100% NOTTIE” stamp so I’ll just say that he’s AIGHT.

  15. freddiegirl says:

    I feel you Kaya.  I just look at Kobe now and think, “Why can’t we have LeBron James??“

    Gotta say I loved Tupac though….smilesmile

  16. saraaah says:


    itz great that you chose not o post…and the funny thing is u know that i picked her out of all the other comments…u know in real life i do not like to repeat my self but for ppl like you who are thick headed i guess i have to…the gal used said that she is eating her food…so why on earth would she say that about a humen being…this is not the first time i see suprising thougths in this website…as i remember when a similar topic was made about florent malouda and didier drogba they were nottie’z…

    you see at that time i thought itz their personal opinions….but when offensive comments are made…i blv i should correct them…and by supporting her u are proving my point…so hey

  17. The Fourth Official says:


  18. saraaah says:

    “brandy”..who said she said anything about race..did i say that ?….if u read bk u will see that i did not…i questioned her indeed!!..so dont just jump to conclusionz..and why am i bringing da race in?…bcuz it needed to be breought up…and i asked her what is discusting about a blk..male…which is true…

    i blv itz wrong to say that another humen being lookz discusting …and thatz why i questioned her….damn what with all the attcking…?

  19. lose that girl says:

    I will explain myself.

    I would have said the same comment had the person been any other male that I do not personally find attractive. I don’t find him attractive – end of story. It has nothing to do with his race or the team he plays for—for goodness sake!

    To insinuate that I was being racist for saying “Please, I’m eating my lunch?“ is ludicrious and ignorant.

    If such a comment = racism to you then I just don’t know what this world has become.

  20. The Fourth Official says:

    We all have the right to express our opinions, and “lose that girl” expressed hers.  Along with about 25 other posters.  The question of race was never mentioned.  YOU brought it up.  So grow the #### up.

  21. saraaah says:

    excuse me….i have the right to express my opinion…and itz not my problem that alot of ppl find things offensive in this website…this is the first comment that i ever read that i found very offnsive…and if i feel that i have the need to say it i will…and i did…

    what is discusting about a blk male?..especially…someone like nic..who is no way near uglyness… so for her to come out of no where and say that she is eating her food….what did she actually see faeces or puke?

  22. The Fourth Official says:

    Jeez Leweeze, dial it down a notch, saraaah.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/gulp.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="gulp" style="border:0;" />  I don’t consider it a successful read on Kickette if I don’t spot at least two offensive things a day.  (Though I don’t get what’s offensive about what “lose that girl” wrote, to be honest.)

  23. saraaah says:

    having lunch is offensive…..!!!

    for sure sweety…especially…using it in this kind of situation…ppl usually say that when they see something that is discusting…so in other words you find something about this man discusting…NOW THATZ OFFENSIVE…

  24. lose that girl says:


  25. saraaah says:

    loooooooooooolz….your a very funny indiviual….damn u made me feel as if i am an outcast in a new school type of thing…picked the wrong group?…what group is there to pick up on…now you are letting me know that thereis some kind of group formation in this website..which is very intreting…

    why is no one jumpin to my defence?…i dont need anyone to jump to my defence bcoz i made my point and i will bk up my point and i dont need any little groupies to defend my point…

    there was no attack in my intentions so do not say that , damn gal or boy or woteva u are u are a very horrible individual?….

    what the **** is wrong with u….u just said that she can express her opinion, itz very funny how you are contradicting yourself..and trust me b****dere nothing going on in ma life….but it is very sickning when i see ppl like you’s still exist in this world!!!

  26. brandy says:

    To quote YOU bringing race into the situation: “what is discusting about a blk male?“

    Your words saraaah, not mine, and not lose that girl’s… ALL YOU. Maybe YOU should read back…

    And yes I am going to defend somebody who is so wrongfully accused of something as horrible as racism. And why single out lose that girl?! There are about 20 other posts up there about how he is not attractive to us. Why not spread the racism charge to all of us?!

    This is my last post on the subject as I feel like we are dealing with an irrational person and not worth my effort.

  27. saraaah says:

    u guyzzz are not seriousss….Dis man is such a HOTTTIEEEE…..he is soooo fineee….i like that aggresive look he has…..DAMNNNN…..NOW DATZ WHAT I CALL A SEXY MAN….

    and (lose that girl) i find that comment u made very offensive indeed…

  28. The Fourth Official says:

    I would defend anyone whom I thought was being attacked for no reason.  I notice that no one is jumping to YOUR defense.  Ask yourself why?  You are taking what is a lighthearted, friendly exchange of banter and turning it into something poisonous, for absolutely no legitimate reason.
    I don’t understand what’s going on in your life to make you lash out this way, but you picked the wrong group.

  29. saraaah says:

    u need to mature the **** up sweety….and do not get rude…and why the ****are u defending her for…i am quite sure that she made the comment and she should be accountable for it not u….appearing out of no where and defending her….
    she expressed her oppinion using a very offensive word..towards another humen being…so her opinion is not similar to other’s opinions….the issue of race is involved in one way or the other…why else would she be sayin that a man looks discusting when in no way or form this man does not….

    she knows what she said and how she means it….let her explain her self…u cant be speaking for her unless u are the one who wrote the comment…and who knows!!!…prankzz 4 real

  30. brandy says:

    Sorry Sarah, I mean saraaah.

  31. brandy says:

    Woah Sarah… lose that girl said nothing about him being black!!! Why are YOU bringing race into this?!

  32. lose that girl says:

    having lunch is offensive?

  33. Sarah x says:

    The Body Is HOT!
    The Face Aint But, Its Okay wink
    Glad He Signed For Chelea smile

  34. lose that girl says:

    Please! I’m trying to have my lunch.

    NOTTIE – defo!

  35. carly says:

    Definitely hottie smile
    But probably another in the Great Hall of Bastards!

  36. Robin says:

    He’s on the cusp of being hot but there’s something about the shape of his head (it looks too much like an egg to me) that keeps him from cascading over into total hotitude.

  37. Nae-xo says:

    Defo Nottie! Puh-leeze girleens, not even in the top 200 LOL

  38. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    I cant believe we’re even being ask to discuss this, even the body can’t save him!!

    He soooooo a NOTTIE!

  39. coleen says:

    he is a BUTTERFACE oh my god those ears are gross
    nice abs though

  40. Sasha says:

    WHAT! Nicolas Anelka is definately a hottie, for sure! Am i the only one who feels this way?

  41. tammyv says:

    YEAH!  He is a beast, and he has sucks a badass vibe about him

  42. Lisa says:

    No! No! NO!

  43. kaya says:

    Ha. I was going to say he’s a bit Kobe Bryant-ish, too. Not as chiseled-featured IMO, however, but still pretty hot.
    I can understand the negative association, freddiegirl. I was a Lakers fan before I moved to San Francisco. I liked Kobe when he started in LA, but as time wore on, his personality destroyed his looks <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />
    For Nicolas, I’m not sure how anyone could say his face in unattractive. However, he does have historic personality issues… and the Chelski thing is bad, too. He looks like Tupac in the 2nd photo… another minus. He’s still kinda hot, tho.

  44. Nina says:

    Yeah, good body but unspectacular rest

  45. Johnna says:

    Wow, the second pic isn’t bad at all. But I have to agree with the people above me.

    No no no no no.

  46. Jennifer says:

    his body is NICE and yummy, but seriously, the face? nt 4 me! i dnt like d beard thing n his head is way 2 shiny!

  47. freddiegirl says:

    I think he’s handsome…unfortunately he reminds me too much of Kobe Bryant who as a disgruntled Laker fan I can’t stand.  Sorry Nicolas.  I can forgive him signing for Chelsea; he hasn’t been at Arsenal for years.  He doesn’t make me angry the way Cashley does.

  48. klyn312 says:

    nottie nottie nottie. sorry :( but noooo.

  49. Sarah says:

    So I may possibly be a bit biased against the blues, but seriously, playing for Arsenal and then ending up at Chelsea…brings to mind a certain C-Unit named Ashley.

    Def not a hottie.

  50. c9 says:

    Sorry a NOTTIE for me.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/tongue_laugh.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue laugh" style="border:0;" />
    But I agree the body did do a little something.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/hmm.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="hmmm" style="border:0;" />

  51. Becca x says:

    I Dont Know How Anyone Could Call This Man Hot.. Really I Dont..

  52. linz says:

    yeah he doesn’t do it for me either…but the wash-board abs are definitely amazing to look at, but not matching to the rest of the package is disappointing.

  53. brandy says:

    Nottie. No thank you. Not even at the prospect of having full access to the bank account, still not interested. Too slim bean pole for me.