September 12th, 2012

International Results: One Eye On The Future

At this point it’s safe to say that Gareth had no idea how bad things were going to get. Image: Srdjan Stevanovic/Getty Images Europe.

If only we could see into the future, Kickettes.

Not only might the terrifying vision of what we’re going to look like in ten years if we carry on living like this scare us into the odd early night, but we could totally figure out where we’re going to leave our shoes at the weekend.

England 1-1 Ukraine

Image: Clive Mason/Getty Images Europe.

Poor Stevie. Luckily, he was practicing this particular move in training the other day, so he was totally confident in the execution when he received that stoopid second yellow.

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Japan 1-0 Iraq

Image: Kiyoshi Ota/Getty Images AsiaPac.

Could anyone have foreseen the sensational outcome of adding a little Japanese spice to the Dutch beefcake that is Mike Havenaar? No, but we in the Kickette office knew you’d love him. That part did not require a crystal ball.

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Georgia 0-1 Spain

Image: VANO SHLAMOV/AFP/GettyImages.

If this is the future of 3D TV, we’re forgoing cake for the next three months to save up for one. For realz.

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Portugal 3-0 Azerbaijan

Image: AFP/Getty Images.

The early 80s is not a place to visit if you’re searching for innovative haircut ideas. Miguel Veloso, you’re a home bleaching kit away from a Kickette ban. You have been warned.

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9 Responses to “International Results: One Eye On The Future”

  1. Gladys says:

    Congrats to Spain, and especially to Soldado (an awesome striker who doesn't get nearly enough love with all the superstars on the NT) for his elegant goal. And to Cesc for the assist.

  2. Agnes Wonka says:

    I'm so disappointed with Uruguay! (like the rest of the country) they're playing so bad, i just don't understand why….

  3. gin_in_teacups says:

    Spain had me worried for a while. By now I should probably have complete faith that they'll come through in the end, but lordy! Boys, I'd feel a lot better if you'd start scoring earlier in the matches from now on.

    I was so happy for Spain and Portugal, but having to take a train from Glasgow to Edinburgh last night put a damper on things. Nobody should ever have to spend that much time with so many depressed men wearing kilts.

  4. Jayy says:

    Stevie G getting sent off was depressing! I think we could have played much better but a draw isnt too bad.

  5. Loninha - Brasil says:

    OMG ! Germany 2×1 Áustria ! Love Love Brazil 8 x0 China !! Thanks !!

  6. HiL says:

    haha i love Miguel Veloso

  7. Miss XOXO says:

    Gareth Bale look lovely…..

  8. Elk63 says:

    What about Sweden, ladies?

    • Kristina says:

      I don't know if I'm happy or sad for Sweden. They won but played boring. And quite bad actually. Not to mention the bad mood everybody seemed to be in. They have to pick it up. I nearly fell asleep.