December 8th, 2009
James Beattie: Fighting For His Rights
Where is the justice?
When a player stands up for his right to host a drop-down-drunk, falling-asleep-in-the-lap-of-a-Stringfellows-hostess, spending-enough-money-on-booze-and-VIP-seating-arrangements -to-revamp-the-economy party, we should salute him, not punish him.
Last Saturday Stoke City got a dose of “Cescy time” courtesy of Arsenal. Gaffer Tony Pulis was none too happy about it and like a parent dropping the Santa Isn’t Real veil, revoked the previously-planned two days rest he gave his squad.
One issue: there was a major Christmas party romper planned that evening that James Beattie had lent a helpful hand in organizing.
Per Beattie’s astute calculations, he voiced his concerns that a full 48-hour period of recovery was necessary for players to collect their dignity in time for Tuesday. Crimbo party healing time, and all that.
Maybe not in those words but since we haven’t been accepted as Stoke City stalkers/mascots yet, we don’t have the entire factual locker room inside scoop.
Sadly, the 48 hour window of shame lock-down t’was not to be. Pulis and Beattie scuffled like any good West Side Story characters would: apparently some pushy-shovey ensued, towels flailed until gracefully settling onto the ground and a variety of man-parts were left exposed. Allegedly a stark naked Pulis headbutted Beattie’s post-shower bod and a masseur had to drag the Gaffer away.
Seriously, why haven’t our applications been accepted by Stoke City yet? Why?
No party recovery period and no confirmation as to what happened to the proposed shindig? Sure… poor pitch performances deserve a dress-down once in awhile, but a wayward penis? Pulis effectively killed off his team’s lone chance to rock around the Christmas tree and all he gave them was a peak at his family jewels in motion?
We say Justice for Beats and the bevvy of ladies he had lined up under his mistletoe.
I have admired and respected Tony Pulis for some time now, so I’m naturally inclined to side with him. I do hope this mess wasn’t his fault, and that it all gets straightened out soon.
Lol what a mess!
I didn’t see the match, but the scoreline doesn’t look that bad at all. Surely worse things could happen than losing 2-0 to Arsenal. What was Pulis so irked about?
You got to fight
for your right
to party!
Seriously, to be a fly on that wall.
James apologised according to some reports……….. no I dont think so!
Oh, and James likes a party, but I would bet his lovely wife would be in tow.
Apparantly the headbutt isn’t true- but there were punches. And still naked. Major cringe. Must give credit to my business teacher for telling me this, my *ex-pro baller* business teacher, (ok, so he played for port vale and Newcastle Town, but he’s mighty fine, so who cares,) was telling me about this earlier, he’s friends with a reliable witness. Cough Andy Wilkinson cough.
Pulis was naked?? Ewww. Was James? This did just get a lot more interesting though…
I saw the headlines about “enraged and naked football manager headbutts his own player in shower”, and all I could feel was extreme disappointment that it wasn’t Roy Keane.