February 6th, 2012
Jeremie Janot: You Ain’t Warm Unless You Pee Your Pants
St Etienne keeper Jérémie Janot believes the best way for players to keep warm in cold conditions is to wear a wetsuit – then pee in it. Image: THIERRY ZOCCOLAN/AFP/Getty Images.
Dangerously cold weather and unplayable pitch conditions wreaked havoc on Ligue 1 action this weekend after parts of France were struck with blistering, near-freezing temperatures (-13 degrees Celsius/8 degrees Farenheit). Three matches had to be abandoned altogether and players returning from the African Cup of Nations were advised to sit out or else risk freezing their fatigued arses off.
While doctors encouraged players to “watch the game on TV” from the temperature-controlled comforts of their homes, St Etienne’s goalkeeper, Jeremie Janot, offered his colleagues a more clever frostbite-fighting tip: urinate in a surfer’s wetsuit.
Um…come again, Jeremie?
“I have tried everything but I have not found anything better than a surf suit,” he told L’Equipe. “Once, when there was 15 minutes to go in the match, I p*ssed in it before going directly to the shower fully clothed.”
And unfortunately, he isn’t the only professional who resorts to peeing himself like a like kid.
“Some keepers like Gregory Coupet do it too.”
Is there a treatment facility for victims of TMI, Kickettes? We’re desperately seeking a referral.