November 13th, 2008

Jermain Defoe: Man-Ho of the Year


We’re declaring Portsmouth’s Jermain Defoe as our 2008 Man Whore of the Year.  It’s quite an achievement.

What’s brought on this sudden and (some might argue), premature victory?  After all, there are still a good six weeks left in the year for another player to sweep in with a gaggle of hoochies and take the title. (Btw, where’s vintage C-Ron when you need him, damn it?) 

We’ll tell you.  The news that Jermain has started dating Chantelle Houghton has made us feel secure enough to make this formal statement. 

Now, we love and respect our readers too much to provide any coverage on the “career” or personality of Miss Houghton, but let’s leave it to her ex-friend, Danielle Lloyd (who also dated Jermain) to sum up her market value:

“If Jermain wants her, he’s welcome to her. She’s not like me — she’s like Woolworths.”

We have no idea what the hell that means. But we think it’s supposed to be a snap of some kind.

Anyhoo, by calling out Jermain as King of all that is Skank, we are not advocating that professional footballers should remain holy and pure and stay home most evenings playing relaxing games of Candyland with a glass of non-sparkling water – far from it.

imageWe applaud badly behaving ballers – it’s their duty and responsibility to hooch it up, we recognize this. But Jermain’s decisions to work his way through groups of friends throughout 2007/08 is what puts us right off.

Lest we forget, he was engaged to party girl/kitchen shopper Charlotte Mears before she busted him cheating on her with her mate, Danielle Lloyd. An entertaining catfight ensued.

Jermain and Danielle eventually broke up, followed by Jermain rolling through about 40,000 randoms. Also, he went back to Charlotte.

And now, Chantelle. Oh, and way back in the day, Jermain and David Beckham’s sister, Joanne also had a fling.

Wow, we’re exhausted.

Jermain, you are a true Man-Ho Icon. Enjoy your title for 2008, luv. Part of the prize package is a free check up at the local clinic. Make it count!

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23 Responses to “Jermain Defoe: Man-Ho of the Year”

  1. puL says:

    Defoe look innocent but he is a big cheater

  2. lisa says:

    Jermaine Defoe is a black man, he should date his own black women and leave the white man's women alone.

  3. The Fourth Official says:

    Perhaps a Man Whore Hall of Fame is called for. I nominate Gabriel Agbonlahor. He has what, five different kids with five different women?

  4. aristeia says:

    EW. Guess what happens when you roll through a group of friends like that? You end up sharing more than you want. That happened to a few morons I went to high school with– 2 guys and like 5 girls. They all got it on with each other (sans same sex hookups) and now they all got the H-bomb. Dirty. Also, it's classless.

  5. Venice says:

    And to think this man gets to touch my precious Niko…! :-S <img src="; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

  6. TammyV says:

    Wow… do you send flowers to him or send an at home STD test kit? He skeves me out like no other but the other one I get him confused with who got engaged in the cemeteray the other day.

  7. Sarah says:

    He chucked Danielle Lloyd because she wanted a dog and he thought that he would be committing to her if they looked after a dog. Chantelle Houghton! *is keeling over laughing so much* Big Brother reject? She’s compared to Paris Hilton but where Paris is associated with the luxurious Hilton hotel chain, Chantelle is more Travelodge than Hilton.

  8. TammyV says:

    Wow… do you send flowers to him or send an at home STD test kit? He skeves me out like no other but the other one I get him confused with who got engaged in the cemeteray the other day.

  9. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    *Falls over laughing* I don’t know whether to say “Congrats” or not…

  10. Vinandi- Pompey FC says:

    I know Jermaine is a man ho! but not as big a man ho as Christanao Ronaldo surely!! CR7 as he likes to refer to himself is a skank! and whats wrong with all these girls that they want to date these gigolos? GROSS!

  11. Blessedxox says:

    I met Jermaine Defoe a few weeks back and he didnt seem too bad…but all these girls…its gettin silly raspberry

  12. Moonie says:

    It must be fantastic being Jermain, safe in the knowledge that all these beautiful, intelligent women are with you for your fabulous looks and sparkling personality!!!! ;)

  13. Becca says:

    Chanelle Houghton, Thats Taking It Too Far.. I Reckon He Could Actually Get A Normal Girl If He Wanted To…

  14. Baby Freya (Mrs Arbe says:

    Oh…..this is TOO funny! Chantelle Houghton is a complete moose!! More power to you Jermain if you think you can last till Xmas with her! I will personally eat my socks if they remain an item in the New Year!!

  15. AJ says:

    A well deserved award. He's worked hard for it. ;) His loose morals are only rivaled by his bad taste in woman. They are so skanky. Danielle Lloyd makes my skin crawl. :S

  16. mrscudicini says:

    The thing that amuses me the most is that these women damn well KNOW what they’re getting with him, and they go there anyway. Like when Deco’s wife #2 was mad that he cheated on her. HELLO? He cheated on wife #1 WITH YOU. This doesn’te excuse the man-hoing, but come on girls…

  17. Dreamgirl says:

    Hope he enjoys this award. MHHOF sounds a good idea. I’d have to think who to nominate but Jermaine would def be one of the top contenders.

  18. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    A very deserving winner. He’s a skank and a half and his taste in women is beyond revolting….

  19. carly says:

    Oh Venice, I hope whatever he has is not catchy. :(

  20. carly says:

    Ugh. He truly deserves the award. Congrats.

  21. carly says:

    Oh Venice, I hope whatever he has is not catchy. :(

  22. carly says:

    Ugh. He truly deserves the award. Congrats.

  23. lose that girl says:

    Wow. Really? Chantelle…the Big Brother chick who married Preston, sold the photos and then had the marriage collapse around her? Well, Jermaine might as well date the entire set of wannabee celebs. The one that I find the most horrifying is Beck’s sis. Must have had beer goggles on for that one.

    lose that girl blog