March 26th, 2010

Joe Cole: Don’t Trust Your Typist

Through a 5 minute Google search, we were able to discover what is being touted as Joe Cole’s “official Web site”. Roughly 30 seconds later we hit the panic button because we thought our eyes were failing us. Then, the weight of the words attributed to J. Cole sank in.

In the above screen shot, you’ll see Cole’s supposed “bros before hoes” shout-out to the teammate who routinely cheated on his pop-star wife.

UPDATE: For those e-mailing us, we’re not sure about what levels of photoshop trickery may have been used, if any, in the above pic.


We can’t provide absolute resolution on the validity of JoeCole.co.uk, although UEFA has mentioned it as the real deal. However, we’re more than happy to solicit our sentiments on Web site situ:

- If the proud new papa really did write and/or approve the posting of the aforementioned “you ‘da man, Ash” ramblings, then he just booked himself a one-way ticket from hero to zero on our sh*te lists.
- Of all the ways to console a friend, you tell him to “soak up that French sun”?
- We wonder how Carly feels about her man taking such a public stance?

Aside from those obvious red flags, we seriously question the ability of Cole’s webmaster to manage his digital fort while he and wife Carly tend to their recent stork delivery. He’s off dutifully shielding his days-old daughter from the paps, and obviously does not have the time or energy to focus on his cartoon character’s lack of real-life resemblance.

While we’re on that subject, though, when have Joe and Carly ever closely safeguarded personal life details? Lest we forget about the couple’s photo flaunting comfort in Hello! last year in honour of their nuptials. Has a new baby created a heightened sense of security or do old habits of trading private moments for large sums of money die hard?

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21 Responses to “Joe Cole: Don’t Trust Your Typist”

  1. Martin sort the Villa mess out soon. We can't afford 7-1 displays like that again.

  2. [...] sommeil depuis 2004… En tous ca l’info fait le buzz en Angleterre et suscite toutes les interrogations ? Un Coup du Père Ashley [...]

  3. Liz says:

    That pic of him and “his” website is horribly fake.

    Well it better be fake, if it isn’t… oh Joseph!

  4. Amy says:

    I'm about 90% sure this is a fake. When I went to "no page style" on my Firefox browser, at the bottom it had the copywrite logo then 2009 next to it. Surely that should be 2010 now. Plus it's a pretty messy layout and a printscreen of the CFC.co.uk frontpage with Joe Cole slapped on top of it.

  5. SB says:

    this screams fake..

  6. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    Oh dear. That’s all I can say here, lol.

  7. Miss_S says:

    I've been supporting Joe for 8 years, I'm sure it's not Joe Cole's official website. Joe had his official website few years ago and it had the same design and contents but Joe's official website has been closed down in 2006/2007 since many annoying messages had been posted in the forum. Therefore, the website is fake, people just stole the graphic design and that cartoon character from Joe's old official website!

    P.S: Sorry for my bad English, I'm from Asia :)

  8. Chelseagal says:

    it cant be real, if you look in the very top of the left corner in black writing over the images it says "jole cole"

    surely an official website wouldnt make a typo in his name?!!

    plus i really dont think he would do that, a guy that goes to the extent of not holding his wife's hand in public….?

  9. beri says:

    I hope this isn’t true…if it is…he’s got to be the biggest douche bag in the whole world right behind Ashley Cole.

    Save it for a text idiot!

  10. NinyaC says:

    I love the “read all about my goals” in the upper right hand corner.

  11. Genghis says:

    Fake or not, this guy is beyond being an idiot for making this kind of stupid message. Doesn't he know that he is burying Ashley Cole instead of garnering sympathy and support for him? Anyone can think that this was done by those who hate Ashley Cole and not by his supporters. Either way, I smell a big lawsuit and a big settlement.

    I must admit that I am ashamed of the stupidity that some members of my gender have shown worldwide. An example is Tiger Woods who sent by text the lurid details of what he would do to his mistress. Tiger Woods went to Stanford University. Supposedly, only the brightest and most intelligent can be accepted there. He must know that the text messages he sends can be floated in the Internet for eternity. His text messages are now floating in the Internet and in the Press. Who knows, his text messages may even reach outer space that can be read by other civilizations. Most worrying is that his children will also be able to read it. I hope they don't read it even when they become adults.

  12. Babz says:

    Damn…I didn’t figure him for a douche..

  13. Molly says:

    “how lonely that house in Oxshott can be when you wife is jett setting as she was” lol thats sticking it to Cheryl, Joe! :) . That part really made me laugh. I’m not 100% convinced that is Joe but if it is that is very sweet of him to so support to one of his friends and teammates.

  14. liv says:

    This can't be true! if it is then……………..

  15. beri says:

    If it's real…then he has to b e the biggest douche bag in the world right after Tiger Woods, Jesse James, John Terry and Ashley Cole.

    What a prized idiot…couldn't he save it for a text message! Hope his Mrs. is so proud of this message. Maybe she's quietly counting her blessings that she isn't a successful jet setting pop star…that way her prince charming doesn't have an excuse to cheat on her either :)

  16. tammyv says:

    The site is fake.

    They stole the graphic menu bar from the chelsea website without any of the links

  17. Ella says:

    There is no way this is real, right??? That would be ridiculous. Ballers rarely openly discuss this type of thing, so it would be completely out of the ordinary for a teammate to bring it up on his website in such an open way. If it's real, Joe Cole is a super douche. But for now, I'm assuming it's not real. Someone must be able to confirm this!!!

  18. FootieCutie says:

    WTH !! R they making cheryl look like the EVIL one in the story ?! i don't know what to say really ?!! @___________@

  19. Der Lutscher says:

    If it's really real then it's sort of awkwardly sweet of him to support a teammate, but is Ashley's troubles with Cheryl any of Joe Cole's buisness? Those words better be saved for a private text, not public statement.