November 15th, 2010

Dressed At Gunpoint: Joe Hart & Micah Richards

We’ve said this before and we’ll say it again. Joe Hart looks better when he is not wearing any trousers.

Our initial reasoning for this was our overwhelming delight at his deliciously furry legs, a motivation that is quite difficult to defend without admitting that we have been spending several hours plotting complex fantasy scenarios involving said fur.

But now? Vindication! The photo above shows Joe¬†arriving at the MEN arena for Saturday’s heavyweight boxing match between David Haye and Audley Harrison. He is wearing trousers. Is anyone interested (including you straight boys who pretend you don’t read this) in arguing that Joe looks better with these on than without? Thought not.

However, we’re not completely heartless. We appreciate the fashion forward gesture of Joey’s parachute pants and congratulate him on his attempt to draw the eye away from his runaway crotch with a little glimpse of tummy. Nice save, Joe.

Unfortunately, the same generosity cannot be applied to Micah Richards, who like Joe, is right on trend with his scoop necked, layered cardigan woolly glove combo with rando drawstring waist. Ahem.

At least he looks pleased. Perhaps he left he left the boxing early, before Haye and Harrison entered the ring and undertook the most one sided, pointless fight since Kieran Richardson Dyer and Lee Bowyer went at it on the pitch.

Ho hum.

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27 Responses to “Dressed At Gunpoint: Joe Hart & Micah Richards”

  1. Harry says:

    Joe Hart is such a good keeper but he seems to have developed a sense of arrogance in his personality.


  2. Vennegoorofhesslink says:

    Nice outfits…! BTW, it was Kieron Dyer who Lee Bowyer had exchanged handbags with. Kieran Richardson…. butter wouldn't melt in his mouth ;-)

  3. chelsea says:

    i read bout that tooo
    soo sadddd after thattt :(
    i cant afford to not look at his sexy legs

  4. kitty1979 says:

    No No No No Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  5. BarceLisa says:

    the Joe Hart pic looks like a scene from a bad horror movie. Whats up with that old guy behind him wearing that long benchcoat? really creepy. All thats missing is a rain hat and a hook-hand.

  6. shay says:

    God lord. They both need the intervention of a stylist and some new glasses! Wow!

  7. LoseThatGirl says:


    Can't touch this!

    Touch it… I can't even FIND it! :)

  8. jimmy_ma(n)c says:

    'twas Kieron Dyer that had a punch up with Lee Bowyer I'm afraid ladies, Kieran Richardson is far too civilised for brawling!

  9. McRed says:

    Joe's definitely better without trousers. especially when he's dancing without trousers (we've all seen this, right?)

    We cant criticise him for wearing MC Hammer pants. He definitely needs the extra crotch space to accommodate that bulge

  10. Emme says:

    I'm just going to pretend Joe Hart is at an 80's party in that pic.

  11. Winnie Mata says:

    it seems like Joe is getting well adjusted into the famous baller world.
    he knows he can get away with practically any fashion atrocity, particularly terrible parachute pants
    since we've all seen what's underneath. and we absolutely love it.
    i mean REALLY, who cares what you're wearing when you got a DONK like his?



    anyways, you're a smart, hot, man Joe. a smart. HOT. man.

  12. Lili says:

    just one thought: "Can't touch this!"

  13. Jen says:

    Appalling fashion choices Joe!!! Why must you footy players be so amazingly gorgeous, and then go and ruin it with train wreck garments??? You make enough to buy quality pieces……learn from Xabi Alonso(always classy)

  14. snowy says:

    Sorry but they both look entirely, totally and utterly ridiculous. Bet they were getting some looks from the boxing fans.

  15. chelsea says:

    omggg Joeee y r u soo effin gorgeousss
    get in my bedd rightt nowww
    n i don care what hes wearin hes the most beautiful person to ever put foot on this planet

  16. hammons says:


    It was Keiron Dyer not Richardson – don’t confuse the often-injured with a former United Youth star! ….

  17. @LizB18 says:

    Having a hard time hating the pants… when I know I really should, as they are rather atrocious. He's so cute! That shouldn't make them ok :/ but somehow it does?

  18. Georgina Sanders says:

    LOL at Joe's "MC Hammer" pants.

    The drawstring waist waist made Micah's cardigan look very girlish. It's easy to remove them with scissors so he should have just cut it off.

  19. CarmenOcio says:

    Joe Hart could be wearing pink skinny jeans with JUICY across the rear, ugg boots and a tank top and I still wouldn't care. Hmmmmmmm

  20. aps says:

    They both look a mess. I’ve never seen a man wearing a cow neck until now. Thx Micah.

  21. GigiSantaCruz says:

    Joooooooooooee!!! I love when Kickette post pics of him!! He looks really cute although I'm on the no trousers team!!! Haha!! Micah, imo, has commited one mistake only: what's that thing on his waist and shoulders??? It's looks like those backpacks that have a string to be tied around the waist!!!! Get rid of it and damn! you'll look just great, boy!!

  22. blake2108 says:

    Joe Hart, get in my bed!

    I really do regret telling him as much when I met him twice. Just stunning

    And he looks great there too.

    • Simone says:

      I agree Joe looks really good and I love the pants

    • Winnie Mata says:

      you met Joe Hart…twice…

      *jaw drops*

      you may not realize it, but you might just be the luckiest person in the world.

      …besides his girlfriend hahaha

      • blake2108 says:

        I'm not the luckiest person in the world. Nowhere near. There are many others who have met/are mates with/slept with Gareth Bale

        They're all luckier than me.

        He is yummy in the flesh though, Joe I mean