February 1st, 2012
Joe Hart: Appealing To All Comers
People, please! Form an orderly queue for a glimpse of the hawt. Images: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe.
We don’t blame you for handcuffing yourself to a goalpost during the first half of Everton’s 1-0 victory over Manchester City in the EPL last night. Many have mocked you, but we often find it hard to resist the magnetic power of Joe Hart as well. We’ve also found the best way to pass the time or odd bout of insomnia is by thinking of the furry keeper in a variety of scenarios, which most definitely include restraints of some kind.
We realise it’d be difficult for a man of your societal stature to publicly declare your feelings since football fans can be merciless at times. From a few libation lunatics to another, we truly understand why you tried to hide your motives beneath the banner of a protest involving an airline.
Thus, our one request is that you slow your role and get in line behind us and the rest of the Kickette Army. If there’s any madcap pitch invasions of love to be made, we’re much more qualified to be making them.