February 1st, 2012

Joe Hart: Appealing To All Comers

People, please! Form an orderly queue for a glimpse of the hawt.  Images: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe.

Dear Sir,

We don’t blame you for handcuffing yourself to a goalpost during the first half of Everton’s 1-0 victory over Manchester City in the EPL last night. Many have mocked you, but we often find it hard to resist the magnetic power of Joe Hart as well. We’ve also found the best way to pass the time or odd bout of insomnia is by thinking of the furry keeper in a variety of scenarios, which most definitely include restraints of some kind.

We realise it’d be difficult for a man of your societal stature to publicly declare your feelings since football fans can be merciless at times. From a few libation lunatics to another, we truly understand why you tried to hide your motives beneath the banner of a protest involving an airline.

Thus, our one request is that you slow your role and get in line behind us and the rest of the Kickette Army. If there’s any madcap pitch invasions of love to be made, we’re much more qualified to be making them.


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22 Responses to “Joe Hart: Appealing To All Comers”

  1. power 8 says:

    Best goalkeeper ever, for England!

  2. Guilty says:

    I would have cuffed myself to Joe Hart

  3. Kristina says:

    Well, coming from Blondie-land (Sweden) I'm pretty sick and tired of blondes. And even if I weren't Joe does nothing to me. BUT, cuffing yourself to a goal post?! Brilliant!!

  4. Sarah, Madrid says:

    All I know this guy has given me idea, won't be surprised in the next game of Bernabeu to see some crazy girl cuffed to IKER'S post, …I know I will get to see Ramos too!!
    So, yeah thank you…about Hart I have a soft side for goal keepers, I join other people saying not big fan of blonde, but as I said soft said for keepers and their hands

  5. bri_saldana says:

    Thanks kat22 I did not have this dilemma until you actually pointed it out….both boys are O SO THICK & both teams are just FAB!

  6. mata says:

    And just how did this man get left out of the Finest Five?

    Kickette, you really must start doing your Finest Five by league.

  7. bri_saldana says:

    I lust over this THICK noisy neighbor! I believe that he's the best keeper in the Prem and just wonderful for England. Can't wait to see him for Euro 2012 …… :D

  8. Kat22 says:

    Joe Hart is simply brilliant! Best goalie England has had in ages. And when you think how young he still is he can only improve over time.

    Plus he's very easy on the eyes, even though I'm not normally into blondes… ;-)

    • xoWinnie says:

      oh my gosh…right?!?
      i tend to like the classic, brown-haired, leading-man type,
      but Joe just does it for me on so many levels despite his blond hair.
      my ex-boyfriend was blond, so i'm clearly getting over my brown-hair bias ;)
      Joe is just so attractive, in terms of looks and personality in my opinion, he's a joker!
      …plus his height is the stuff my fantasie's are made of.
      the guy i'm seeing at the moment is super-tall (6'5" which also happens to be Joe's height),
      i don't think anything turns me on more than a tall, muscular man,
      even though i'm quite petite at 5'3" lol. oh well, everyone has their preferences, right? :P

      • Kat22 says:

        Lol – agree with everything you said girl!

        I normally love guys with dark hair (probably because I'm blonde myself), but he is just gorgeous. And his height is a definite plus! I am tall, so the likes of Mata, Silva, Villa etc, however cute they may be wouldn't look right next to me!

        • xoWinnie says:

          lol at least you have the height to back up your preference haha!
          the last few guys i've been with have all been significantly taller than me
          it might look a little ridiculous, but it makes me feel like a little princess :3

          my friend and i (both short, she's even shorter than i am) have a 6 foot rule
          when it comes to dating lol, it's so shallow! but i'm only 19
          so i figure i can get away with that for a while ;)
          maybe it'll change one day, but for now i like what i like :P

      • IrishBlue says:

        Tall, muscular men…I hear ya!

      • Mrs. Q.Borri says:


        Im 5'8 so I always go with guys who are taller than me. Plus I love love heels, like obssesed with them, and that makes me even taller. But something I ve notice is that my go-to guys look like Marco, I mean dark hair, cinnamon toast crunch skin, nice body and very tall but the guy that has me in the clouds, yeah yeah I said couple times now, is ADIL RAMI I dont know why but is something about him his bod, his heigh and his personality just got me… pretty hard! :P and he is the opposite of what I go-to. Maybe that's what got me.

        Needless to say I dont like blondes but their is something about Joe… Something I cant put my finger on that makes me wonder.! Hummm??!

    • bri_saldana says:

      Tell me about it….i'm not normally into blonds or anything CITY. He's super gorgeous…