February 20th, 2012
John Guidetti: The Decline & Fall Of Civilisation
Image: MARCO DE SWART/AFP/Getty Images.
You are witnessing the comission of a crime, Kickettes. This is Feyenoord Rotterdam’s striker John Guidetti, who was sent off in his side’s Eredivisie game vs. RKC Waalwijk after receiving a second yellow card.
Many football commentators might overlook the importance of such an incident, but we see the damage to the game, to Guidetti’s career and most importantly, our good selves this will inevitably cause.
The player, who is on loan from Manchester City, is unlikely to ever remove his shirt on the field of play again. His teammates and Eredivisie colleagues will see it as a warning and will remember the incident next time they score a vital goal for their side. Word will filter across the globe and before we know it, players will remain fully clothed at ALL times.
We will then have to rely on clandestine, in-changing-room camera football for our cheap thrills. Which may well kill us.
To paraphrase Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for evil FIFA directives to triumph is good Kickettes to sit around and drink from hip flasks.”