June 9th, 2011

John & Toni Terry: Cutaway With Caution

butt grab WAG Chelsea captain

We are, like…seriously offended by Toni Terry’s “bikini”.

Thongs have only two rightful homes: beneath tight dresses or at Spearmint Rhino. Not on a beach in the United Arab Emirates. And certainly not in front of innocent children.

Another stunning revelation we’re compelled to share: JT is as ripped as ever and packing some impressive heat. We still would (we think).

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78 Responses to “John & Toni Terry: Cutaway With Caution”

  1. die steel says:

    The article has really peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your web site and hold checking for brand new information.

  2. Cella.xx says:

    she is soooo pathetic…and she is not classy at all…how the hell you can wear something like that in front of children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. aloha says:

    Question Do all British players cheat of their significant others? geez

  4. AC_USA says:

    EW ew ew ew ew…thats all I've got to say!

  5. AC_USA says:

    Sad part is he is still cheating. And this ugly thing wont stop him. Dear God people are crazy nowadays! :) )

  6. [...] Uh, wow. The Terrys, ladies and gentlemen. [Kickette] [...]

  7. camille says:

    she's gonna get a rash sportin that thing
    so wrong

  8. tiggy says:

    if you can't stop ur husband chasing sluts, dress like one!

  9. iris says:

    why do women wear makeup on the beach?

  10. just a thought says:

    Ok that bikini(?) is awful, but am I the only person that thinks the tan lines that thing must cause have to look absolutely horrific?

  11. up the lads says:

    JT is forever going about in public sporting a boner. It's part of his special charm. The swimsuit is a gagger but I salute Toni for swallowing her humiliation and preserving her family. JT is a bad boy for sure, but he seems to love her and those kids look pretty happy to be there on the beach with both Mom and Dad, PDAs aside.

  12. Josef says:

    wow, a whole queue of prudes. What really gets me is the apparent venom: "nobody wants to pour bleach into their eyes after going to the beach"… "not only is it innapropriate, it's just plain ugly too", MS. Terry has no class or dignity, she apparently looks like a streetwalker and had to be tortured think that suit looked good, and I could go on. What I want to know is, who the blazes are you people to pass judgment? I'll lay odds they didn't wake up and say, "what should we wear to scandalize jealous web surfers in the suburbs?" but rather get on with their own life and don't care what you sanctimonious folks think, whether about their attire, public displays of affection, or parenting technique.

    some things to remind yourselves:

    1. There is nothing wrong with the human body.
    2. There is nothing wrong with sex.
    3. "propriety" is silly – no one should feel ashamed or be concerned about "dignity" or "class" in matters of sex/love/attire.
    4. There is no reason to show respect for rules and customs based on imaginary higher powers designed and implemented to circumscribe half the human race's freedom.

    • Kate says:

      THANK YOU. Seriously, these comments are making me scratch my head. If I had that body, I'd flaunt it too. Love the female-on-female shaming that's going on in this comments, I guess women aren't allowed to feel good about their bodies without being called sluts or trashy.

    • Homeskillet07 says:

      while the whole passing judgement arguement makes sense, there is something wrong with sex IN PUBLIC! go and have sex 24/7 365 in your bedrooms or kitchens or whatever if it rocks your boat but nobody else has to see that. and fine, maybe the rules and customs in the UAE are a bit old fashioned and what have you, but it doesn't give any person the right to disrespect or disregard them. if you don't like them, don't got there but if you go there have the decency to respect their rules. it's like someone coming into your house and disregarding your rules just because they don't agree with them….and frankly, no one should have to see anybody else's "excitement", it's just rude and awkward. especially when there are children around! nobody said there was anything wrong with the human body, but it should be covered up appropriately in pubic.

      • Kristine says:

        Well said. And I stick by what I said, the suit and behavior were innapropriate, and the suit is ugly.
        Nothing wrong with letting your freak flag wave, sometimes you just gotta put it down.

    • MADRA BEAG says:

      Ah, spare us …. I think her outfit is amusingly bad but god bless her for the smoking body, that doesn't come without hard work. But the guy's boner/semi is poking out of his shorts in the second picture! Nobody wants to see that on a family beach – if they were 16 year olds someone would have poured cold water on them already.

      "I'll lay odds they didn't wake up and say, "what should we wear to scandalize jealous web surfers in the suburbs?" but rather get on with their own life"

      Couldn't disagree with you more here, of course they care, they're playing up to the newspaper cameras to make the plain folk back home amused/impressed/jealous!

    • tiggy says:

      i'm not a prude but i disagree with you on these facts,
      1) disrespecting the laws of that country
      2)she looks a mess
      3)soft porn in front on young children?
      4) she's not wearingh that forr herself as earlier pictures have shown. she's doing this becsuse she's scared he'll leave her which is quite sad
      5) she's a doormat and he'll cheat on her again. the main reason he slept with these tarts is because they were a fanatsy and he could dispose off them easily. he has no respect for women at all

  13. mamaly says:

    Can't wait for the season to start again, so far i have seen the same nauseating pics of John Terry, Peter Crouch and Wayne Rooney. All playing happy family, all cheaters.
    And now even my dutch team is on the pull.
    Bring on august.

  14. Minka says:

    I like Toni, even if the Monokini is a little bit too sexy. Enjoy the holidays. :)

  15. cisarovna says:

    I totally hear ya, but honestly I think the worst thing is that it isn't even flattering. The strip of fabric over her stomach makes it look like she has more of a pouch than she really does, and the strings around her hips are out of proportion so it looks like her hips are bigger than they are. I say, if you are going to go there, it should at least be flattering.

  16. xbabyshakesx says:

    I can't just blame Toni! John should have never let her out like this!
    He should know better! but then again maybe not…

  17. Justin says:


  18. Jen says:


  19. Jen says:

    I agree!!!!! It is an atrocious suit no matter what, but in a muslim/conservative country it is down right offensive!!!!!! Firstly, she is horrible to be so weak to take him back…be a strong woman for your children! Second, why why why would you want to even be with JT—he is not worth it, although his money is?!! Third, go shopping for yourself, hopefully any sane woman would NOT pick that suit for herself!!

    • Sergz says:

      It's not all about money. I know a few couples that are still together even though they probably should get divorces (infidelities and so on) but they don't because of their children.

  20. CharlieGooner says:

    Granted, she has a nice body but I can only imagine how awkward/offensive it was to some parent who was lounging or playing with their children… The 2nd pic especially was too much! Her butt is sticking out, he’s groping it, his third leg is up… Oh gosh… Smh

  21. [...] Uh, wow. The Terrys, ladies and gentlemen. [Kickette] [...]

  22. so i take it most of you all are jealous of Toni for two reasons. 1. her man 2. her hot bod. ( just sayin.) ok maybe its really revealing but you gotta show of when you are young. cant imagine her with that when she is 80.

    • @DebStimson says:

      and if you were a family on the beach where this happened what then? I can just imagine the kids saying, "mommy look, I see her butt" or "mommy, how come you don't hug daddy like that?" Try explaining that to your kids.

      "Etiquette is an important aspect of UAE culture and tradition, to which visitors are expected to conform. Recently, many expatriates have disregarded the law and been arrested for indecent clothing, or lack thereof, at beaches.[137] Western-style dress is tolerated in appropriate places, such as bars or clubs, but the UAE has maintained a strict policy of protecting highly public spaces from cultural insensitivity." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubai

    • Im jeaous of her man? Well I do want some of his money but Im certainly not jealous. He's a cheating dog and I woudn't get near him again or his body parts if i knew where they have been.

  23. mochara says:

    Wow, who tortured her into believing that this was appropriate?! I mean come on, have a bit of class….

  24. Jessicaann5 says:

    WOAH! did not need to see that. i mean, i guess i'm happy that they can still stand the sight of each other, but, eep!

  25. eve says:

    Whatever atrocity she is wearing, u can tell by his pants that he is appreciating.

  26. Wow says:

    Desperation is a diseases Toni get well soon for the sick of your children and others cultures!

  27. laligaforladies says:

    The first picture would be lovely if she were wearing something.

  28. Leonor says:

    OK, before I say anything about Toni can I just say that John is smoking? He looks absolutely gorgeous! But Toni's "bikini" is shameful. I understand that she still has a great body, but she is a mother of two small children, and I think it's indecent for her to be seen out anywhere in such a small amount of clothing. There is a difference in showing off your assets and looking like a streetwalker.

  29. James says:


  30. FloraJane says:

    Thanks for the self-revelation Kickette, for I must conclude that I'm a tasteless, disrepectful wh*re myself because I think they look smoking hot and I'd totally rock that swimsuit if I looked like that in it and I'd totally be all over that man whenever I had the chance, rest of the world be damned. LOL

  31. Thea says:

    I am lost for words – working the Grand Prix last year my boss hads to neogiate our uniforms so that we needn't show mid-drift and too much leg and even then it was very uncomfortable for all concerned – think it has to be the most hideous thing I've seen. Very sad that Toni had to resort to those lengths to keep her man intersted in her!

  32. not toni says:

    i feel sorry for him which is kinda wrong after the cheating drama. but yeah, i feel sorry for him. sorry for u john!

  33. JNas says:

    Unless your butt looks like a Miss Reef (http://www.reef.com/guys/calendar.php) , you should not be wearing a thong bikini… or a weird cut-out/halter/mono-kini thing that Toni has on.

  34. Lily says:

    After a certain age you just need to put it away, no matter how "good" you look. Nobody wants to pour bleach into their eyes after going to the beach and your children will see these pictures in a few years. This behavior is only cute for 17-year olds and those two are way past that.

  35. GigiSantaCruz says:

    Oh wow!!! You won't see this kind of behavior (picture 2) even on the beaches of more free and fun-loving countries (well, maybe you will, but I guess the couple would go to deeper waters for that), so all I can imagine is that they were on a very private and secluded beach in the UAE… Have they been arrested? LOL Coz I've heard from friends that people who did a lot less than this have gone through some trouble when on vacay there!
    And I'm sorry but I have to comment: is that really the direction Toni is going to follow now in order to keep the man she calls husband on a leash? Tsc tsc tsc… A little self-respect wouldn't hurt, would it?

    • Rachel says:

      That's the first thing I thought of! I know people who've been arrested or fined for more demure PDA in the UAE.

    • Raincitygirl says:

      I suspect that if you have as much money as the Terrys do, the authorities will look the other way. I doubt they'd be quite so understanding if it were just some random holidaymakers bumping and grinding on a public beach.

  36. LizzyHS90 says:

    How old is she? And a mother? Mothers can still "be sexy" but this is going to far IMO.

    I feel like this is a "my husband cheats (allegedly) on me so I need to look hot in hopes that he doesn't".

  37. Emily says:

    That’s not even a bikini… it’s like a napkin with a piece of string. Good lord.

  38. Liz says:

    How old is she? And she is a mother? You can still “be sexy” and a mother but this is going to far IMO.

    I feel this is a “my husband cheats (allegedly) on me all the time so I need to look hot so he doesn’t”.

  39. lulu says:

    The only thing I have to say is: GET A ROOM!!!

  40. Rory says:

    Ugh, just lost my appetite. Which makes me think I just discovered a great new diet! I need to tape that 2nd picture of the Terry's to my fridge. I'm sure to lose 10 pounds in a month!

  41. Marina_Isabella says:

    You can also tell he has a boner… and if they were indeed in front of their children – as some of you here claim, theeeennn, wow… talk about, erm, quality parenting. [/sarcasm]

  42. Marina_Isabella says:

    lol… hehehe… reminds me of Ice T and his hoe, the ever so classy and demure, Ms. Coco XD

  43. Carolina says:


  44. Red_Girl says:

    Flaunting it does not work over the age of 18. Cheap, nasty and far too conscious of the paparazzi.

  45. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Same reaction! O_O did she actually wore this! Are they really doing this in public! I am pretty sure people are offended! It is pretty disgusting bikini to be worn anywhere in the world, trashy look!

  46. Danielle says:

    ok granted she shouldn't have worn that especially in the uae but I can see why she didn't divorce him after his scandal by looking at the 2nd pic there. Impressive to say the least!!!!

  47. owj says:

    what tha hell toni?

  48. Kristine says:

    Oof! I'm all for flaunting it if you got it, but..not only is it innapropriate, it's just plain ugly too why do women fAll for such horrendous fashion trends? Look at the weird tan lines she's going to have.

  49. CherylAFC says:


  50. xoWinnie says:

    Terry looks hot as hell. like seriously…foine!
    Toni looks like she just got off the late shift at the Bunny Ranch, Cougar Division.

  51. Rachael says:

    Is that wrapped legs around pose really necessary in front of their two young children (reportedly playing nearby on the sand) get a little bit of dignity for the sake of ya kids!

    • AC_USA says:

      Thats exactly what I said. For the sakes of kids, or the rest of the world that has to see these images.Cover it up, woman! :)

  52. Coco says:

    I hope they get arrested!

  53. BarcelonaFan10 says:

    You have to admit that she's got a smokin' bod. But seriously!?! Parading yourself in tiny scraps of fabric just so you can stop your husband from cheating on you??? REALLY!?!?!?! Pathetic, IMO.

    • mena says:

      If this Twitter post is correct – and they were correct about other injunctions – John Terry never stopped cheating: http://twishort.com/aczcv

      • BarcelonaFan10 says:

        Shame on HIM for his relentless cheating. Shame on HER for even wearing this utterly disgraceful excuse for a swimsuit. Sometimes, the most dignified thing you can do is just walk away from a lost cause of a husband. *sighs*

    • Caitlin says:

      Yes, she has a nice figure (plastic boobs aside) and I can't help thinking how much nicer she would look in a cute bikini. Sometimes less is more!

      • BarcelonaFan10 says:

        I completely agree. The whole world does NOT need to know her business down south. Some girls just don't understand that there are some things that just have to be kept secret.

    • sara says:

      I am really glad that Toni and you talked about why she wore the swimsuit…

  54. candy says:

    A thong in a Muslim country?

  55. footballandme says:

    Little Jonny just wants to pop up to say hello… Wants to watch that he doesn't cut the strings of her bikini with that stick!