December 26th, 2011
Kickette 2011 Rear End Review: Football Power Couple Of The Year?
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Since it’s the time of year when no one is in the mood to do anything other than sloth out, we’ve decided to have a look back at the year that was before asking our lovely readers to help us declare a football power couple of 2011.
As you’re painfully aware, we love our footy stars. If they come in pairs? All the better.
The long-standing Old Guard of football couples is well known and obvious, but who is this year’s equivalent of David and Victoria? We’re talking about the powerful pairings who we feel we should be on a first name basis but due to our habitual savage-like stalking, are forced to keep a distance from.
Over these last 12 months, the following lovebirds have been perhaps the most famous entities in football, notoriously significant in the press with nearly perfect private lives.
While our man servants are out fetching us another bottle of Baileys, let’s review our handy primer to the top football power couples of 2011. It will almost certainly make you feel old, underachieving and/or poorly dressed.
Rafael & Sylvie van der Vaart
As 2010′s top WAG per your votes in last year’s Kickette Army WAG Rankings, we had high expectations for the Netherlands’ most famous footy couple.
Yet the van der Vaarts’ power couple perfection never faltered. Two years on from her scary battle with breast cancer and the L’Oreal spokeswoman was busier than ever, working as a host of two German reality talent shows and having the distinguished honour of appearing on four women’s lifestyle magazine covers within one calendar year. Mrs VDV is the only WAG on today’s shortlist to boast of this feat, we might add.
Rafa of Tottenham and possessor of spit skills, meanwhile, didn’t come close to matching or surpassing his wife’s accomplishments but still made it into Tussauds and convinced Sylvie to re-marry him nonetheless.
It’s unfathomable for us to grow tired of these two even though their standard of living will never be within our means. Twelve months later, and they’re still filthy rich, widely admired and providing us with a love story to vicariously live through.
Gerard Pique & Shakira
The global economy was in shambles and the environment was reportedly eating itself alive but none of that mattered to us because Gerard Pique’s car was dirty!
Our eagerness at dismissing this footy couple’s true state of endearment was high, but it was nothing compared to the amount of times we called them out on their public puppy love. Along the way, GP the baller-with-the-boyish-good-looks transformed into a loose lipped model known for shattering any specimen who stood in his well posed way. His better half was busy, too, making more erotic music videos in between her countless humanitarian ongoings.
No one’s more surprised to see Gerard & Shakira still standing than us, but honestly, we’ve got to hand it to them. When the sight of a man and a woman in love inexplicably makes an entire nation want to lose their lunch, you know they’re on the brink of something big.
Wayne & Coleen Rooney
Enduring the difficult sure was the leftover 2010 theme that continued to irk the Rooneys in the new year. Whether it be blackmail, mug shots or insider secrets Tweeting, we can’t deny all the headlines these two hogged. Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant was mayjah worldwide news, for example, which barely paints the full picture of how high public interest really was in him and Col.
Think about it, Kickettes, what would English tabloid culture be without it’s girl next door turned uber WAG and her scouse brows?
Cristiano Ronaldo & Irina Shayk
When young boys dream of becoming the world’s best footballer, it’s not just because they want to win the World Cup. It’s also because they want to date swimsuit cover models from Russia.
Cristiano failed to add any major team accolades to his trophy cabinet this year with top-of-the-money-table club, Real Madrid, but his global popularity did elevate Irina Shayk’s name within and outside the modeling and fashion industries. That’s not to say she wasn’t already a well known worker in her own right, and we’re not going to debate that now either, but month after month, we watched as the amount of gossip column inches about C-Ron, Irina and their high-powered careers quadrupled in size.
A couple who shies away from the spotlight when they can in favour of baby bottles, quiet dinners and dips in the ocean together, the power couple principle in motion here is the capitalisation off of each person’s strengths (their aesthetic profitabilities) instead of focusing on each others’ weaknesses (both fail at fashion).
Frank Lampard & Christine Bleakley
We finally warmed to Miss Bleakley in 2011 since in every picture of her that we came across she was bearing a bigger than average grin. We like happy people most of the time and an (occasionally too) toothy WAG was a refreshing sight to see.
Anyway, these two had a big year for sure; they got engaged, saw the world, she lost her day job but produced a work out video to keep the cash flow a coming. Plus, we had a thing for her bangs (or just her hair in general), which were reminiscent of Coleen’s face framing fringe of ’09. When a leading lady has a mentor, it’s a true sign that she’s willing to put her ego aside and skip some rungs on that power couple social ladder.
The hair, the body, the bag and Iker Casillas. Sara C. had it all and then some in twenty eleven. Marquee moments of hers included hiring a stylist, protecting her mane with Pantene and wearing sequined culottes. But despite the presenter/columnist and her boyfriend’s incredibly public professions, Iker and Sara only flourished further by moving in together and getting themselves a dog.
Hundreds of posts and many rants about his base layers later, Iker consistently made us lose all sense of rational whilst in his presence. Unfortunately in September, GQ did a number on his appearance. We assumed Captain Jack Sparrow was the art director’s inspiration – the result of which was not all positive. On the bright side, the severity with which his eyes were lined made him look more alert than usual.
Xabi Alonso & Nagore Aramburu
Not one to be intimidated by the host of other powerful footy partners around her, Nagore excelled in magazine appearances and product shills this past year. She also completed an entrepreneurs course at the University of Deusto, making her yet another WAG with enough brains (and most likely financial backing) to make her dreams happen.
With a World Cup winning, fine wine by her side, Alonso and Aramburu the better half of 2011 rolling in dough the old fashioned, non sell-out way.
And now you vote. Voting is open until next Wednesday and you can only pick one. We know how much trouble our Kickettes have with this rule, but it has to be done.