August 31st, 2011

Kickette Body Language: Studying The Seven Deadly Sins

‘Yeah, so I was saying that according to Sartre, that park bench is merely a construct and doesn’t really exist.’ Image: Reuters/Daylife.

Philosophy is one of our favourite subjects at Kickette HQ. At any given moment, you’ll find us browsing the works of Dante, Albert Camus and Joey Barton, which are all conveniently situated next to the coffee maker.

We also watched the movie ‘Seven’ the other day and have been looking for an excuse to shoehorn the deadly sins into the world of football. Yay us!


No, Mario, lust! LUST! Not LIST! Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

Well, Kickettes, our philosophical quest is off to a terrible start since the first deadly sin has been misinterpreted by Balo, who is eagerly ripping off a laundry list of ‘conquests’ from last week alone.

Well, we suppose it is lust. Of a kind. Sigh.



Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

The perils of dunking one’s head into the training ground’s jellybean dispenser are calmly explained to Axel Witsel of the Belgian NT by his coach. Don’t worry, Axel. This has happened to us on a number of occasions. The scars do fade after a while.



Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

We learned through Google that greed has something to do with giving into earthly desires. And desires don’t get much more ‘earthly’ than the ones we’re currently harbouring for Joey ‘Peek-A-Tongue’ Hart.



Image: REUTERS/Toby Melville/Daylife.

You’ll never grow up to be a big dashing boy like Chris Smalling if you don’t exercise properly, Ashley Young. Pick up the damn ball, y’all!



Joechim Loew has decided to leave the German NT captaincy in Philipp Lahm’s capable hands, despite the ‘ballers open criticism of his training techniques. Lahm did reportedly receive a telling off for his bean-spilling book, which might be why he is bitchfacing Loew so hard that he’s about to tip over.


Envy (lead image)

Pepe realises that if he’s standing next to Cristiano and someone points a camera in their direction, they aren’t taking a photo of him. He has chosen to deal with this by pretending to make a moot point during every camera encounter so people will see him as the sensitive, thoughtful one. Sadly, no one is fooled and the world continues to stare longingly at his Crisp n’ Crunchy BFF.



Image: REUTERS/GES-Sportfoto/Markus Gilliar/Daylife.

Far be it from us to get into a row with the Catholic church, but ‘pride’ cannot be a sin. Not only would it throw our whole shallow existences into disarray, but it would mean that Mesut Ozil is wrong to look happy and smart in his special old lady peacoat. And Mesut is too cute to be wrong.

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20 Responses to “Kickette Body Language: Studying The Seven Deadly Sins”

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  2. Agnes Wonka says:

    defo, CRon is my lust sin :P

  3. littlegreenpea says:

    for someone who doesn't like cristiano ronaldo, I find him to be extremely attractive in this picture. But maybe it's just when he's next to Pepe….

  4. Kelly says:

    I think Cristiano is definitely lust for me! The man, whether you love him or hate him, is just ridiculously good looking.

  5. Ashley says:

    The more Özil coverage the better. Please include adorable photos of him wherever possible!

  6. sahil says:

    ozil is good…

  7. gin_in_teacups says:

    I just wanna smush Ozil's face he looks so gosh darn adorable here!

  8. kel says:

    Mesut has big hands

  9. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Bambiii eyes Ozilll!!! Much much better choice tthan green coat and deserve a pride moment, I must say!!. About Lust, I think pictures of forlan, cris. ramos..etc shirtless should be featured there just saying!!

    Pepe, I really love his smile!! Btw, if Cris shave his head, he passes as Pepe brother lol

  10. Idali C says:

    I guess I'm one of the few people or the only person in the world that does enjoy seeing pix of Pepe and stares at him more then Cristiano lol Poor Pepe doesn't get enough love!!

  11. Alice says:

    Hahaha I totally agree with the Envy description

  12. xoWinnie says:

    i just realized that picture of Joe looks like a blonder version of my boyfriend
    (who looks like a mixture of Joe and John Terry–who as an United fan, he hates lol)
    mystery solved! i now understand my obsession!
    thank you, Kickette.

  13. Kristina says:

    Özil is cute. No matter what the circumstances are.

  14. Maria V says:

    I think you should just go with "Lust"… 7 times :D