April 12th, 2010

Kickette Catch-Up: Weekend Cheat Sheet

Saturday

- Elen is back! After her Tesco’s undie shoots failed to woo Frank, Ms. Rives has stepped up her game and will be appearing on ITV’s, Marco’s Kitchen Burnout. Other Z-list contestants include fellow failed-WAG Nancy Dell’Olio. Elen has mentioned that she’s been skinning rabbits from an early age and revealed the inner workings of her mental chambers as she cited a vital reason why she joined the show: ‘it would be great if it led to a new career.’ At least she’s honest. Set your dvd recorders for Friday at 9pm, this is not to be missed!

- Wolves striker George Elokobi continued doing what he does best: revealing flesh in the name of charity. Ten members of the team took part in a fashion show in aid of the Everyman Cancer Charity. We approve of everything except this shirt but since it’s for a good cause, we won’t snark…

WAGs at Aintree- WAGs united on Saturday to finish off Aintree clad in black style. Coleen Rooney awarded one lucky gal the Matalan ‘Best Dressed Award’.

- A Real Madrid v Barca WAG-off caused major Kickette confusion. Kaka (and us) were left wondering what’s happened to his wife, because that sure ain’t Caroline. Anyone else love Pep Guardiola a considerable amount more after seeing his very normal wife?

Sunday

- A habitual scene stealer, C-ron also had to be content with second place in Italian mag Cuore’s list of best baller bodies. Becks topped the poll, which also featured Freddie Ljungberg, Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney. No joke.

-In more Cristiano news, he just can’t keep away from the British girls skanks. Vidas reported that Cron is dating Imogen Thomas, she of Big Brother/ dating Jermain Defoe fame. Imogen has a list of footballer conquests to rival Danielle Lloyd and has clearly adopted Danielle’s proven tactic of ‘ if at first you don’t suceed, try, try again.’

- Cheryl Cole won the hearts of the world’s feminists, declaring in a Norwegian TV interview that her career is what she loves the most. Then she changed her mind. When asked about Ashley, Mrs Cole turned on the waterworks and began repeatedly mentioning the words ‘fight for’ and ‘love’. Subliminal messaging springs to mind.

-Talking of WAGs on tv, the reviews of Abbey Clancy’s appearance on ITV 2′s new show ‘ Parent Trip’ weren’t too impressive. But hey, even her fiancee expected it to be terrible.

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25 Responses to “Kickette Catch-Up: Weekend Cheat Sheet”

  1. Andrea Nunes says:

    hey! :)

    the pic which they say it's carol celico it's actually buffon's wife, alena seredova. ;)

  2. Senorita Iniesta says:

    10:0 for Real, if you go after the WAGs …

    And, ups, what happened to Cris’ Italian chick?
    I didn’t heard something about their breakup … could it be that she was really ladylike enough to keep her mouth shut about it?! *_____*

  3. Ines del Sol says:

    Ok who did that to her? She looks ummm… DIFFERENT. Orange a bit?

  4. Merel says:

    Omg, one has aged a lot. Elen, just go.

  5. Molly says:

    HAHAHA LOL I can’t wait until Friday night to watch Elen on Marco’s Kitchen Burnout!!!!! It is going to be the greatest thing ever!!! I think she is probably going to cry because she actually has to make the food instead of having it served to her haha lol. Welcome to the real world lovey!!!!!!
    Love that Lampsy made best body list because he has a great body LOL…but I am not surprised that Rooney made it because he does have a good looking body too :) …love my Waynie!!!

  6. Jemima says:

    she is seriously weird looking.

  7. Inés says:

    Elen Rives: welcome to the working world! *laughs like a witch*
    I love Collen, she looks amazing!
    I agree Wayne Rooney has a good body too!
    CRon has an awful love to skanks!

  8. livv4footy says:

    elen….oh. wow. thats all i can say.
    otherwise. WTF? CRISTIANO. has he seen the size of that list of football-ing exes????? i mean she ain’t got nothin on Danielle Lloyd, buuut jeez i thought he learned from that skank whats-her-face.

  9. carly says:

    JEEZ, Kickette, you scared the heck out of me with that Elen photo!!

    *takes a moment to regain normal heart-rate*

    But anyway, I think a cooking show with Elen might just be the funniest thing ever.

  10. Ella says:

    Oh Elen. GO AWAY.

    And I don't believe any CR9 hookup rumors until I see proof in photos or video. If anyone has anything of the sort, please post it. Or maybe don't. I might kill myself.

  11. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    Re: Kaka’s “WAG”. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Someone needs to hire a fact checker, lol.

  12. Emma says:

    Is Puyol still with Agnes? I thought they broke up???? Help lol

  13. HJ says:

    can someone please post a link of the Barca WAGS (especially Pep’s wife!) ? Shocking but i didn’t watch el clasico. I had an exam the next day!!I swear, Cambridge are out to get me!at least my boys are back on top :)

  14. truly_thata says:

    Carol Celico?! NO, that Alena Seredova (Gigi Buffon WAGs). lol :D

  15. Ooh, dear…. thought Elen was decked out in a straight jacket in that pic. Don't think it will woo Frankie back, luv.

  16. tammyv says:

    I love Elen… they better have this available on youtube/torrent sites STAT!

  17. imhereforthenando says:

    Is it too mean to say that Elen looks like Frida Kahlo?

  18. senora ramos says:

    perhaps that's what caroline looks like when there alone ?! lol!! what a funny mistake. scanned the article and didn't see sergio's name. sigh of relief!

    btw, scary, scary pic up top ::shudders::

  19. Shit, that scared me when my browser window opened.

  20. Thea says:

    Well i'm a BIG pile of Barca love today – but I have to say their WAGs looks ten times more genuine, attractive and relatable than the RM ones ! Pep's been with his wife since he was 18 – and has a rock solid marriage and family that he protects by keeping them out of the media.

    Elen take note – you want Frank back, be more like the Barca WAGs and show some class and style!

  21. OMG Elen, WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE???? Tell me, what? Oh, wait, she's not wearing any makeup…