November 8th, 2010

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Jon Arne Riise & Morten Gamst Pedersen: put down the auto-tune and stop singing about produce in languages we can’t understand. Oh, Mondays! Video:


- One young footy fan thought meeting Fernando Torres was more exciting than meeting the Pope. We’d have to agree.

- Arsene Wenger responded to the accusations of having an affair with… a rapper (?) that The Sun lodged against him.

- A twitter photo war between Stuart Holden and Kevin Davies began brewing after Stu tweeted an ace photo of Kev in the tub. The Bolton captain is gathering his ammunition now.


- Victoria Beckham looked effortlessly chic in her own label’s sunnies and handbag as she strolled through Heathrow early yesterday. Its rumoured that her husband will be appearing on an upcoming episode of U.S. sketch comedy show, Saturday Night Live. (Image: Bauer Griffin)

- Newcastle’s Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan were “pleased” that the NOTW didn’t allege that the pair took the drugs that were photographed in the Sunday tabloid beneath the head ‘NEWCASTLE PLAYERS’ COCAINE ORGY’. Um, guys? What about the sexual allegations – such as ‘Ride me! Ride me!’? We can only imagine how Nolan’s wife feels about this whole situ.

- From the “really? This is news?” files: Alex Gerrard almost gets a parking ticket. Sigh.

- Rio Ferdinand celebrated his 32nd birthday, and told the Twitterverse he’s all about slippers, socks and boxers for presents.

- John Barnes wifey has a baby; he stays to finish up the ‘Pool/Blues game.

- Cristiano Ronaldo won a libel claim over reports from 2008 that he was partying it up in LA while on crutches, drinking up a storm and “dancing the night away” with hot chicks.

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37 Responses to “Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet”

  1. Mathilda says:

    The language is norwegian, and the song goes like this;
    Jon Arne: No, no, boy!
    Morten: This have to stop. Jon Arne, take it away.
    Jon Arne: If you wanna be on top you have to look after your body.
    Morten: Look after you body, look after you body.
    Jon Arne: Do you wanna be alert?
    Erik: Yes..
    Morten: Fruit is healthy for you.
    Love from Sweden :)

  2. Leya_S says:

    I wonder how the Vatican feels about the perception that Fernando might be cooler than the Pope?

    This rapper girl Arsene apparently was seen with must not have much of a career bc when I Google-image-searched her, the only hits were from articles about the alleged affair.

  3. kaya says:

    I don't know anything outside of football about Davies, but I hope he knows what he's getting himself into… Stuart seems downright devious in the most adorable way possible.

  4. lilygold says:

    1.Love love love Posh's Coat, Burberry I think, I want one for Christmas, yeah I know dream on Love, how much!!
    2. If I was Mrs Nolan I would be seriously pissed off at having Andy Carroll as a Lodger especially after his car getting torched. Does anyone know if he's on a Curfew as part of his Bail Conditions, Imagine meal times round the table, a rather frosty atmosphere maybe.
    3.I think I'd sooner meet Fernando than the Pope, no offence Your Holiness!

  5. Dru says:

    Off topic maybe, but maybe not in light of his slow but hopefully steady recovery of form- 12-year-old Nando playing for Atleti against AC Milan, here! (check out his wee boyband-y haircut and the team's celebratory hugs)

    • Leya_S says:

      ummm this just made my day!!!
      he's so cute! the JTT bowl haircut!!!
      also, you can see the talent that he (and his teammates) had even at such a young age!

      • Dru says:

        V. sorry to ask, but what/who is JTT? I agree about the talent of those kids though, they're children but you can still see they love playing.

  6. jamtart heart says:

    Aww, bless. That little boy with Torres is the best thing I've seen all day, haha. A+

  7. Jen says:

    Nando is such a sweet guy, hope the little boy gets to meet Messi and gets better…I would much prefer meeting him than the Pope!! Alex is a disgrace! Seriously, why does she think she doesn't have to drive round and round the block/lot to find a LEGAL spot! Stevie is such a great guy and always humble about his position, why can't she be?

  8. Johanna says:

    I can't stop laughing about the vid. Thanks!

  9. Nando y Geri 4ever says:

    Fernando is so sweet :) Poor little boy, hope he gets rid of that horrible disease, and gets to meet Leo Messi.

  10. Deena says:

    Awww, this just proves what a nice guy Torres is. :) it made my heart melt a little. So cute.

  11. tammyv says:

    Kev is getting lots of help from the USMNT boys who are all tweeting embarrassing pics of each other all over the place…seriously, lots of awesome included. Thanks Stu for stirring it all up and for the perfect pic of Kev..

    I will take cheating to coke in a scandal any day… cheating does not get you banned.. drugs do.. and the actual story vs. the headlines made every member of the toon army happy… So did 3 pts at the Emerates

    Shocked by John barnes and then read it was his seventh and thought… ok I can see how he would be like, yeah been there done that, and it will still be happening in 45 minutes

  12. @DebStimson says:

    David Beckham was a guest on Ryan Seacrest's radio show (top 40, I think) yesterday. I caught the tail end of it where David was telling how Cruz thinks he's Spanish, since he was born in Spain. Guess he recently told David, "Dad, you're so English". lol

    • sarrible says:

      That is adorable and I love it. Who would've guessed ten years ago that the hottest thing about David Beckham would be what a great dad he is? Swoon.

      • Leya_S says:

        I love that he's always all over the place, gushing about his kids! I really like the Beckhams, I gotta say.

  13. CarmenOcio says:

    How many times does Alex Gerrard always 'nearly get a parking ticket'? I do like Alex Gerrard, but people who think they're above the law because of their 'high status in society' really do irritate me! And in response to the video-why don't we have adverts like these in England, eh?! I've had to watch it like 10 times to see if it's any less funny/adorable the 10th time round!

  14. aps says:

    Alex is always parking her car illegally.

  15. @AgnesWonka says:

    Riise and Pedersen don't sing that bad! CR sings worse!
    I always thought the Arsenal players were cool, but I see the coach is even cooler!!!

  16. wow says:

    This news about Arsene is so darm funny! Made my Monday, hopefully his players take his manegerial advise that is all!

  17. Lunare says:

    Lol, I loved the commercial and Riise.
    Can anyone get Messi for the little kid?
    And once again Lol at Arsene though I don't think it's true.

  18. gin_in_teacups says:

    I'm sorry, that Newcastle story is hilarious. They're all SEX ORGY SEX ORGY but I think the actual story is about Andy Carroll having it on with one woman. Hardly an orgy. Did it even allege that Kevin Nolan did anything with a woman other than his wife? I didn't think it did. So unless his wife is upset that Andy is having sex while living in their house, I really don't think there's much of a story there.

    Oh and Stuart Holden. I love you. I want to hang out together and make out a lot.

  19. Violets says:

    A Stu and Kevin bromance is one that I can certainly get behind.

  20. Lashes says:

    The commercial is hilarious. It's about taking care of your body by eating fruit instead of candy..

  21. Stacey says:

    Although I'm happy for that boy getting to meet Torres… what the hell is that doing in The S*n?

  22. blake2108 says:

    The Gamst/Riise advert is amazing. I love Norwegian guys too, Morten is number 4 in my top 5 guys too. Beautiful in the flesh too.

    And Kevin Davies is looking really good there I must say.

    • Constanze says:

      Nice to hear! I'm from norway… And they are "singing" about kids should eat more healthy… :)

  23. Missy Manchester says:

    TO: Kevin Davies
    If you want to get back at Stuart Holden, I suggest capturing compromising images, saving them…then unleashing them one at a time every hour until they've all been made public.

    (If unable to snap Stu in the various stages of undress…feel free to photoshop the essential elements as needed)

    Suggested Revenge Photo Topics:
    - Stu in a bubble bath
    - Stu wearing a Borat banana thong
    - Stu wearing leopard-print Speedos
    - the contents of Stu's locker
    - the contents of Stu's glove compartment
    - the contents of Stu's shaving kit
    - Stu's messy bedroom
    - Stu's dirty laundry basket

    Good luck. We can't wait to see the results of your work. LOL

    • sarrible says:

      Stu has launched a preemptive strike on Twitter, posting a whole bunch of photos of himself back when he was on the U.S. U-17 team, along with baby Charlie Davies. It's adorable. Although @StuHoldensHair looks more like @JustinTimberlakesHair. Which is disturbing.

  24. kiki says:

    The language is norwegian. And the blond guy is Erik Huseklepp, norwegian striker.

    Met them all (:

  25. lisa says:

    am getting sick of reading about alec gerrard and his parking wherever!!!!!