February 14th, 2011

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

Melanie Slade English WAG Arsenal

Arsenal’s Theo Walcott and his longtime girlfriend, Melanie Slade, looked tattered and tired post-overnight stay at the Mayfair Hotel. They must’ve played a taxing game of Twister. Yes, that’s what those crazy kids are calling it these days. Image: PacificCoastNews.com.

Show of hands, eye winks or thumbs up: who is feelin’ this past weekend’s irresponsible intake of alcohol and cupcakes?


- We can’t determine why, but Brazilian model Analu Campos denied ever flirting, frolicking or fornicating with Marco Borriello.

- Steven Gerrard’s wrinkles were out in full, observation-only effect. And with the departure of his Spanish love just before Valentine’s Day, who can blame him?

Image: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images Europe.

- Jessica Lawlor and Claudine Keane are up for Peter Mark VIP Awards. Well, it is awards season, but we somehow didn’t save this ceremony’s date.


- T’was a boring day of rest, as noted by the lack of news. And we really mean that/aren’t lying for a change. On the birthday front, Rafa Marquez blew out 32 candles to celebrate all of his good looking years on earth, and we finally remembered how Rafael van der Vaart turned 28 some 48 hours earlier. Aside from learning about Michaela Q. and Alberto Aquilani’s decision to name their soon-to-be-born daughter, Aurora, we filled the remaining hours of our days with sleep.


- Original Ronaldo is set to announce his retirement plans. It would be best for him to hatch those retirement plans now, before Gary Neville claims what little of a state pension he could forge his eligibility for.

- For the single folks among us, we hope you enjoy this brilliant gallery of football cuties kissing before browsing the archive files of this genius Web site: Soccer Players in Underwear. And then tell us, do these ‘ballers deserve your cut and paste attempts at Valentine’s Day cards?

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28 Responses to “Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet”

  1. GracieB says:

    The Gerard and Torres montage was hilarious. Bromantico!!!

  2. @linvinnaar says:

    Xabi didn't want to leave. Nando wanted to. There's the difference.

    Rest assured that in Stevie's heart, no one can replace Xabi. Nando's the "traitor" but Xabi, once a red, forever a red.

    But now… Stevie and I gotta fight over Pepe Reina's love while also having an intimate relationship (which details are best left behind closed doors if you know what I mean)… Hmm.

  3. Ess-Jay says:

    Thankyou for the V'day pressies… :p
    That link of footballers kissing is ADORABLE!
    Saddened at the fact that Stevie + Xabi weren't on there though :'(

    And now, to enjoy the next link… Footballers in underwear… Nomnomnom…

  4. chay says:

    has anyone else had problems with the underpants site? gargh! i'm going to kick my internet connection …

  5. rubyqueen says:

    oh darling stevie i know exactly how you feel honey.we all feel your pain.:'( fernando what a fool you have become.

  6. C16 says:

    Oh Ronaldo. Living legend…
    I hope he can still be involved in football, in coaching or something because he was a brilliant player.

  7. sil says:

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Ronaldo (the original).

    With all our love, Brasil.

  8. Louise says:

    Aww, Stevie. Don't worry, there's a big, goal scoring hunk of Geordie sitting a couple of seats down from you to console yourself with.

  9. @AgnesWonka says:

    Original Ronaldo? what the hell is that?

    • chay says:

      i'm surprised no one has said anything to you yet. but perhaps the accumulating thumbs down will speak louder than words

  10. mochara says:

    Aw Theo I love him <3 His girlfriend seems, em, nice……….

  11. BarceLisa says:

    -Lol I love that last paragraph, so many good links.
    -Goodbye original Ronaldo. I would still do you even though I'm not a chubby chaser. You are the football version of Las Vegas-era Elvis.
    -OMG that before & after photo of young Rafa VDV with a mullet is the most awesome picture I have ever seen!
    -Poor Stevie, he will never trust a Spaniard ever again. Who could blame him. A lesson for us Kickettes perhaps?
    -Is there really such a thing as a model denying a hookup with a footballer? Its a sign of the Apocalypse.

  12. Malenka says:

    I feel so sorry for Stevie… poor him. He must have been weeping day in day out because he forgot to shave.

  13. Anjali says:

    Kickette I agree and disagree with you. Honestly speaking Theo does look a wee bit tired, as for Melanie she looks like a satisfied Persian Cat. Look at that Smirk on her face..May be she's trying to tell us something..I don't know ; )

  14. Jen says:

    Darling Stevie, I feel your pain. However I was looking around for a new crush, and think Agger could fit the bill quite nicely!!

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  16. Alia says:

    Valentine's Day cards for everyone!!

  17. gin_in_teacups says:

    Stevie is so very handsome and lovely. He'd be right near the top of my Valentine's list, second only to Sergio, who of course always first for me! And whoever made that footballers in their underwear blog is reading my mind!

    Also, you missed out cutie pie little Angel DiMaria on that birthday list. 23 today! Bless!

  18. Crackers says:

    Oh, and I wish a happy retirement to Original Ronaldo (for all the fun Kickette likes to make of him, he was absolutely fantastic in his day. Hard to believe he's only 34, but footballer careers are like fireflies- short-lived but brilliant, and people remember them for ages afterwards).

    And as far as I'm concerned, our man in the pic above is the true Ronaldo, not Cristiano (much respect for CR7, but Brazilian Ronaldo is the original)

  19. Crackers says:

    Poor Stevie…first Xabi, now our (former) No.9, I wouldn't be surprised if he decides to never trust another Spaniard again :(

  20. Summer says:

    And also I can forget to say to the love of my life: "Good St.Valentine's day my love!", because the reason because of I love you, cannot be seen in a mirror…

  21. Summer says:

    Stevie feelings are my feelings, but I'm a also a Blues…Although I've found this sonnet by Edmund Spenser (Amoretti 1595) who could describe the moment:
    "One day I wrote her name upon the strand,
    But came the waves and washed it away:
    Again I wrote it with a second hand,
    But came the tyde and made my paynes his pray.
    "Vayn man," sayd she, "that doest in vaine assay
    A mortall thing so to immortalize;
    For I my selve shall lyke to this decay,
    And eek my name bee wyped out lykewize."
    "Not so," quod I; "let baser things devize
    To dy in dust, but you shall live by fame;
    My verse your virtues rare shall eternize,
    And in the hevens wryte you glorious name:
    Where, whenas Death shall all the world subdew,
    Our love shall live, and later life renew."

  22. blake2108 says:

    The Valentine's card thing…

    "Gareth Bale

    He’s a great player and all that nonsense, but he never seems happier than when he’s sliding on his knees doing the whole making a heart with his hands thing – it’s totally loveable. He’s clearly got a lot of love to give and it’s time for us to give him some back."

    Best Gareth quote EVER! (although they forgot to mention that he's beautiful)

    It'd be more than just a card i'd give him, if i could….

    That is all.

  23. Caitlin says:

    Oh Stevie…sigh…I know exactly how you feel, trust me!

    Still – onwards and upwards REDS!!!