January 9th, 2012
Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet
Schalke 04 midfielder Jermaine Jones, pictured above heading into Boa Steakhouse for a bite on 26.12.2011, has been suspended for eight weeks after the American was charged with intentionally stepping on an opponent’s injured foot. After first saying it intended to appeal, the club decided to accept the penalty instead.
Today marks the real first day of us returning to cubicle purgatory after a long three weeks of lying face down on our sofas.
Time flies when you’re a bunch of floozies.
- Botswana’s players went on strike for two days in a row with the country’s football association (BFA) over Africa Cup of Nations incentives. In hindsight, refusing to train for two days probably wasn’t the wisest way for the first-time qualifiers to fight for their right to get paid.
- If you had better things to do than pick up the latest issue of Fabulous magazine this past weekend, we salute you. But also: you missed reading about Peter Crouch’s weekly salary at Stoke City (£50,000), which his missus inadvertently revealed in an interview with the glossy. Abbey also spoke of her lack of tolerance for screaming bratty kids, something we can relate to when we’re trying on garments at Harrods.
- The three main ladies in Inter Milan player Cristian Chivu’s life appeared on the cover of a Romanian gossip magazine. For the critics who publicly denounce those females who work hard to snare a footballer and milk it for all it’s worth, consider this feverishly adorable photo of Chivu’s wife, Adelina, and their two daughters, (l-r) Anastasia and Natalia, as our rebuttal to your complaints.
- Frank Lampard’s lady went back to work six weeks after she was axed from her regular morning gig. We were too busy patching holes in our hosiery with clear nail varnish to watch, so if any UK Kickettes caught this useless bride’s ‘Dancing on Ice’ debut and lived to talk about it, please do.
- About 23 spectators watching a football match were injured when a wooden platform on which they were sitting collapsed at Nehru stadium in India. Since no major injuries were initially reported, the match went on as scheduled.
- Unfortunately one relatively obscure indoor football tournament in Germany suffered a different fate after opening round play ended in a massive brawl and police using tear gas. Organizers scrapped the rest of the weekend play to avoid further problems for players and fans.