September 25th, 2012

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

We’re quick with news on this end if you can’t tell.

Anywho, if you only have five minutes of procrastination time pencilled in for the day, you’re in luck because we only have five can’t miss stories from the weekend. Make yourself a cuppa (or make someone make you a cuppa), expect lots of air quotes and join us after the jump!

1. David Villa and his wife, Patricia, are believed to be expecting their third child (a son, a handful of our followers tell us). The couple also have squishy-and-squeeze-a-licious daughters, Zaida and Olaya. Patricia is allegedly more than six months along.

implants scarred health scare sons mum of two WAG teddy sheringham2. Danielle Lloyd has spoken out against her online bullies. Here’s some out of context phrases: “sick internet trolls”, “perverted taunts”, “awoke in a pool of blood”, “left scarred and with an AA-cup”, “ended up taking anti-depressents”, “allergic to weddings”, “stripped of the title after posing nude” and – last but not least – “the Sunday Mercury can reveal“.

Image: Bauer Griffin.

3. There’s supposedly a mole in the Real Madrid locker room and his name is Iker Casillas, a site called Digital Confidential desperately wants us to believe. Since our girlcrush for Sara Carbonero is bubbling under, we’d like to politely tell Digital Confidential to go f*ck themselves. Too mean?

4. Abbey Clancy Crouch is so busy being a working mum that she sometimes doesn’t have time to wash her hair for days on end. “Sometimes doesn’t have time to wash her hair for days on end” is an awesomely non-descript description. It’s kind of like saying, “Abbey sometimes don’t have time to inject fillers into her lips for days on end”.

zenit st petersburg captain demoted5. Hulk is no Messi, demoted Zenit star Igor Denisov said yesterday. Wow, Igor’s recent fall from captaincy grace has been a fast, ego-bruising one. Why can’t his obliques and the St Petersburg higher-ups just get along? For everyone with six pack tunnel vision’s sake?

Image: Getty Images.

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lashes injury injured hat special deliver doorstep footballer hot eyes french footballerEditor Note: our mailman hasn’t been frequenting us as much as he used to or we like, Kickettes. Help him help us by e-mailing non-urgent or frivolous questions for our cray-cray team, sharing stories and tips that must be published on Kickette’s mainpage this instant and/or writing to praise/complain about our site’s functions that we didn’t even know existed until we accidentally disabled them. In other words, as long as you avoid the philosophical and existential stuff, we want to hear from our soldier girls and boys!

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6 Responses to “Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet”

  1. Flor says:

    Calling someone (someone particularly works together with your boyfriend) a selfish player in public is not only unprofessional, but disgusting as well. Since then, Iker and sara have been tagged one way or another…THEY DESERVE IT. What’s more pathetic? Most people here choose to make excuses for those who harm others but accuse the victim for not being generous enough to let things go.

  2. IrishBlue says:

    Ooh can't wait to see the next gorgeous addition to Dahveed's family!

  3. Chef Di says:

    Thank you for the good news about the David Villas. I love them and imagine the bitchface on a baby boy of theirs?! It makes me smile just to think of it.

    And, has Kickette covered this story yet?! I know we've been waiting … I expected to see this on the cheat sheet. There WILL be a baby Piquira soon: http://bleacherreport.com/tb/d8w3Z?utm_source=new…

  4. gin_in_teacups says:

    Is David and Patricia's pregnancy confirmed? If so, congrats to them! They have such a cute family.

    I am so sick of the Real Madrid non-stop drama, and so much of it has been directed at Iker, who IMO earns his saintly nickname not just for those epic saves but also because he seems like a genuinely wonderful person. The Spanish media make mountains out of molehills over every little thing with Madrid. I highly doubt it is because Iker is whispering secrets to Sara.

  5. Thea says:

    Well not really a CR-9 or gutter journalism fan BUT if leaks are occuring in the locker room at RM which don't occur for other team then surely Iker and Sara are possible and any maybe unintentional culprits!