March 2nd, 2011
Kickette Fail File: Gennaro Gattuso, AC Milan
Well it was there a minute ago, for goodness sake! (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)
We would like to advertise this edition of the Kickette Fail Files as a stern warning about the dangers of not controlling one’s anger effectively. You see, while attempting to strangle fellow professionals during the course of a work day often feels like the right thing to do, we should all remember that the world has a nasty habit of redressing the karmic balance at the most inopportune moments.
Over to you, Rino.
NAME OF APPLICANT: Gennaro Gattuso
POSITION/CLUB: Midfielder, AC Milan
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Locating the ball on the pitch
CITED EVIDENCE: Photo (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: We all enjoyed the coverage and subsequent UEFA ban of Rino for his assault of Spurs first team coach Joe Jordan. The frank exchange of views that the gentlemen concerned appeared to be having reminded us of a Kickette editorial meeting, such were the levels of anger and violence against the individual involved.
However, we frequently learn to our cost that such exhibitions of emotion are not acceptable on the delicately balanced planet we all inhabit. For every impassioned debate involving the inclusion of a breaking hair news story that occurs here, there will inevitably be a woman lying on a un-vacuumed carpet in the not-too-distant future, the unfortunate victim of a ‘booby trapped office chair’. An all too common act of revenge in these parts.
And so to Gattuso, for whom the ethical consequence of his on-pitch asshattery is to be condemned to looking like a berk in every game he plays for his club from now on.
The gods have spoken. Punishment enough, we feel.