March 2nd, 2011

Kickette Fail File: Gennaro Gattuso, AC Milan

Well it was there a minute ago, for goodness sake! (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)

We would like to advertise this edition of the Kickette Fail Files as a stern warning about the dangers of not controlling one’s anger effectively. You see, while attempting to strangle fellow professionals during the course of a work day often feels like the right thing to do, we should all remember that the world has a nasty habit of redressing the karmic balance at the most inopportune moments.

Over to you, Rino.

NAME OF APPLICANT: Gennaro Gattuso
POSITION/CLUB: Midfielder, AC Milan
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Locating the ball on the pitch
CITED EVIDENCE: Photo (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: We all enjoyed the coverage and subsequent UEFA ban of Rino for his assault of Spurs first team coach Joe Jordan. The frank exchange of views that the gentlemen concerned appeared to be having reminded us of a Kickette editorial meeting, such were the levels of anger and violence against the individual involved.

However, we frequently learn to our cost that such exhibitions of emotion are not acceptable on the delicately balanced planet we all inhabit. For every impassioned debate involving the inclusion of a breaking hair news story that occurs here, there will inevitably be a woman lying on a un-vacuumed carpet in the not-too-distant future, the unfortunate victim of a ‘booby trapped office chair’. An all too common act of revenge in these parts.

And so to Gattuso, for whom the ethical consequence of his on-pitch asshattery is to be condemned to looking like a berk in every game he plays for his club from now on.

The gods have spoken. Punishment enough, we feel.

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6 Responses to “Kickette Fail File: Gennaro Gattuso, AC Milan”

  1. Isabella says:

    "asshattery" LOLx3 :D btw, Gennaro = hotter than most of the dudes from the Spurs… so I don't care if he got all angry… I take it that he was angered by the opposite team being full of average/ugly looking dudes, so he was so angry that he went to Joe Jordan and tried to strangle him to make him finally realize that they're desperately needing hotter dudes in their team. That's my own version of this event…

  2. jen says:

    oh, look, if it isn't andrea dossena.

  3. I was very disappointed with Gattuso, but this year I have vowed to try something new and not hold a grudge. I forgive him for acting a fool against my favorite team.

    *Now if he ever touches Baby Bale or Skrtel, forgiveness is out of the question!

  4. Lilly says:

    Kickette, why are u still so upset at Gattuso? He apologised and he also got punished. the thing is over.
    And lets not forget that when Sergio Ramos attacked Puyol and Xavi in the El Clasico, all you said about the event is that u got "hot and bothered". Double standards anyone?

  5. Zoey says:

    Enough already with the Gattuso bashing. The guy made a mistake ans apologised for it. Which can’t be said for Zidane. What annoys me the most being an AC Milan fan is the double standard of the uefa and the media, in regards the Zidane incident both players were disciplined whilst in this case only Gattuso has been disciplined. Whilst that not so innocent old man got off scott free.
    I don’t care what anyone says Gattuso is still one sexy mf.