November 8th, 2010

Kickette Fail Files: Bastian Schweinsteiger


And… stretch those muscles. Bastian warms up for the game. (Getty Images/Daylife)

Things have been pretty tough at Bayern Munich this season.  Four wins from eleven games sees the champions in a lowly ninth position in the Bundesliga and with injuries to key players, they don’t look to be turning their poor start around any time soon.

For the benefit of the club though, manager Louis Van Gaal has insisted that good morale is vital if the club is going to mount a realistic challenge for the title.  Some players have embraced this notion with more enthusiasm (and success) than others. Bastian? Please approach the bench for your Fail File hearing.

NAME OF APPLICANT: Bastian Schweinsteiger
POSITION/CLUB: Midfielder, Bayern Munich
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Positivity on the pitch
CITED EVIDENCE: Photographic (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: Schweini, we realise it’s hard to be a world class player in a misfiring team. The rumours surrounding your potential transfer to the EPL suggest so, anyway.  But surely squeezing out a cheeky grin for an opposition player shouldn’t be this much trouble, should it? The use of the gloved hands to stretch the face, the slightly pained expression, the insincerity in the eyes all point to a man who doesn’t really feel the emotion he is trying to express. It saddens us, Bastian. Happy boys mean happy Kickettes.

Therefore, we have no alternative but to award you this Fail File for crimes against good cheer. Try not to overdo the celebrations, eh?

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11 Responses to “Kickette Fail Files: Bastian Schweinsteiger”

  1. Aps says:

    Haha I still love him in this

  2. Bee says:

    Am I the only one who find the photo uber cute?

  3. elaa says:

    MISFIRING team ?!!!

  4. Dru says:

    It's ok, Schweini, I'll pinch your cheeks anytime…

  5. blake2108 says:

    That was from a Champions League game (see the badge on his sleeve) where Bayern are doing well

    Therefore Kickette fail for not using a pic from The Bundesliga, where the problems lie.

    And Bastian, Get in my bed now. And bring king of the bulge Thomas Mueller with you. And Toni Kroos and Holger Badstuber if they're free. I'd settle for just Schweinsteiger though

  6. eeraaa says:

    And happy footballers means more nekkidness, which therefore means ecstatic, overjoyed Kickettes… with chocolate syrup in hand of course.

  7. Missy Manchester says:

    "Alex Gerrard told me cheek implants are the new boob jobs. What do you think?"

  8. BlAuGrAnA <3 says:

    He's seen better days…