January 20th, 2011
Kickette Fail Files: Bradley Johnson, Leeds Utd
We think that’s known as ‘taking one for the team’. (Getty Images/Daylife)
But fear not Kickettes, we’re actually doing this for your own good. You see, if we do proper results posts for everything, then you’ll come to expect it, and the disappointment you will feel when you log on to our site and find nothing but captioned photos and naked ballers will be crippling. Therefore, our laziness is a public service. Brilliant!
Please celebrate with us by enjoying this Cup themed Fail File.
NAME OF APPLICANT: Bradley Johnson
POSITION/CLUB: Midfielder, Leeds United
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Heading the Ball
CITED EVIDENCE: Photo (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: Generally when heading a football, the idea is to redirect it’s trajectory into the path of another player, or hopefully towards the goal. With the best will in the world, Bradley Johnson cannot claim to be altering the trajectory of anything apart from his lips, which you will note are rather charmingly puckered.
But, you know we always like to consider any mitigating circumstances when making sentencing decisions in Fail Files. In this case we feel that Bradley could cite the Arsenal (we think it’s Denilson, but please, have at it if you know better) foot rising inexorably toward his junk as a distraction. Couple that with the goal that Bradders scored in Leeds’ 3-1 defeat to Arsenal (not to mention the fact that he’s something of a pleasure puppy) and we have no alternative to let him off with a pardon.