December 1st, 2010

Kickette Fail Files: Carling Cup Fashion

Emmanuel Eboue strikes fear into the heart of a pitch invader. By wearing tights. (Reuters/Daylife)

We’re going for a double header today, team.

 As you may know, last night’s Carling Cup fixtures (Arsenal vs Wigan Athletic & West Ham vs Manchester United) took place in the English capital, which is currently experiencing conditions more usually confined to the Arctic circle. This prompted one or two fashion decisions worthy of our attention. Sir Alex Ferguson and Emmanual Eboue, please gather in the Kickette broom cupboard for your hearing. And try not to be too sartorially offensive – our fashion department can be tetchy.

POSITION/CLUB: Right Back/Arsenal
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Keeping legs warm whilst maintaining air of cool masculinity
CITED EVIDENCE: Photo (above)

NAME OF APPLICANT: Sir Alex Ferguson
POSITION/CLUB: Manager, Demi God/Manchester United
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Keeping head warm whilst maintaining air of cool invincibility
CITED EVIDENCE: Photo (above)

KICKETTE VERDICT: Well, where to start? We realise that conditions were somewhat challenging in London last night but there is no excuse for ignorance, whether on the pitch or in the dugout. Manny, your white tights are disturbing in the extreme and seriously limit your ability to maintain the image of an Arsenal defensive hardman.

Sir Alex? You are a legend. Not a mad old buffer waiting for a bus. Is it possible that your ‘friendly Grandad’ look (left) unnerved your players to the point where they were unable to concentrate and conceded four goals? (Getty Images/Daylife)

We’re feeling a bit generous today though and are prepared to accept there is additional evidence for the defence. Emmanual Eboue manhandled a pitch invader (top) during the game and while the image is quite amusing, it does restore our faith a bit.

Meanwhile, a Kickette staffer pointed out that Sir Alex *may* be smuggling Werthers Originals in the pockets of his cagoule. The possibility of this, plus our sweetie whoredom allows us to forgive. Just.

A warning, gentlemen. Your future conduct will be closely monitored.

SENSIBLE NOTE: Arsenal beat Wigan 2-0 while Manchester United lost for the first time this season, thrashed 4-0 by West Ham.

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5 Responses to “Kickette Fail Files: Carling Cup Fashion”

  1. LuLu says:

    Only you can rock them THAT well Eboue…We love you lots

  2. meh says:

    was at the match yesterdayy and i don't blame eboue IT WAS RAWW weather…

  3. Deb Stimson says:

    wow! Sir Alex looks SO cold! Guess there is some benefit to the MLS not playing in the winter.

    Meanwhile we have players in the NFL that wear short sleeve jerseys in below zero weather. Simply ridiculous!

  4. I hate winter! No Manskin!

    Sir Alex looked so Father Christmassy though. I'm really feelin the Xmas spirit!

  5. lyricm9 says:

    eboue! good heavens man?!