November 26th, 2010
Kickette Fail Files: Cristiano Ronaldo
Don’t strain yourself, Cris. (AP Photo/Daylife)
You know what, Cris? You might have the most ridiculous taste in clothing, hairstyles and tanning shades but our sartorial radar seems to take a hike when you’re around.
Yep. We love you regardless, dammit. You’re foine, yo.
But still: there are times when your nonchalance has to be put in check. Kickettes, please convene in the chamber to consider the evidence. Crissy’s up for a FAIL.
NAME OF APPLICANT: Cristiano Ronaldo
POSITION/CLUB: Midfielder, Real Madrid
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Tackling
CITED EVIDENCE: Photographic (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: Historically you have not been a friend to referees, Cristiano. Your quick feet and fancy footwear have often bamboozled hapless officials into giving free kicks that weren’t, not giving free kicks that were and everything in between. Occasionally, your attempts to feign injury have resulted in the kind of somersaults normally only seen in the floor exercise section of Olympic gymnastics.
And the evidence before us suggests that you are taking footie chicanery to new and exciting levels. Your expression gives nothing away as you nonchalantly stick out a foot to take down your man. A referee can have no clue as to whether a foul has been committed. Indeed, you might be lying on a sun lounger in a pair of unnerving shorts (left) for all the effort expended here. (Big Pictures/Keystone/Kickette)
Like everything you do, it might be thoroughly annoying and a target of contempt from commentators and players alike but it’s actually really good. Our bias declared, we declare a one month suspended sentence for you, with other offences against hair and trousers taken into consideration.
Take him away.
this is just classic! love the pic of Cris…..haven't watched him play in a while but I definitely know about this occasional Gymnastic floor exercise routine of which I can admit I never call him on, I always sympathize.Why is that? Good looks and charm,works on the refs, works on me! But Cris is never a fail….if he should be punished…I will do it
Good one Kickettes!
I find this to be an epic WIN. LOL!
i will know, if sergio ramos have a girlfriend at the moment????
lol, is he farting or what?
hahaha! not the biggest fan of Cristano, but this is funny! I will defend you anyday and you dont have to pay me in money *wink* *wink* ^ – ^.
Saw the youtube. Diver much?
evidently there were at least 7 people in denial about his diving abilities and gave you a thumbs down. haahha
"Occasionally, your attempts to feign injury……"
Occasionally?
"I'm just gonna put my leg up riighhht now, look cool Ronnie"
Weird…in a strange way i not quite sure if i can go w/out c9 for a month.
I agree to the FAIL as long as it includes everything to do with him…Whatsherface 2.0
I love this article! Every single sentence of it made me *rofl*. I`ve got a friend to whom he`s just the best thing since sliced bread, and I`ve just emailed her the link!
I laughed when I saw this. Not a fan of CR. but he DOES amuse me sometimes.
This made me crack up. He looks like he's waiting for his latte.
This is hilarious! CR, you naughty boy, yo need a spanking.
Huh what? No way. CR -despite everything – is never a fail. <3
Beside in this match, poor thing was hurt a lot and got an unfair yellow card.
not sure how many people saw the game, but the ajax players were tackling him hard, and one guy even stepped on his ankle while he was on the ground.
normally i would agree to the cristiano fail, but due to all the ridiculousness sergio, xabi and iker are enduring right now, i'll allow it.
I think he is trying to suppress a big grin.
Bravo Kickette. This FAIL file is an epic WIN in my book.
Bahaha! He's so casual looking. XD
i'll take ronnie away.straight to my bedroom to tie to the bed..:)
LMAO he looks like he's doing pilates on the pitch ' And up and down, and up and down'
I'm volunteering to take him away! What can I say? He's my guilty pleasure.
That picture is hysterical.
Noooooooooooooooo.. dnt take him away!!
And that Eyebrow as well is offensive!!!!!!
Cristiano Ronaldo, to me is an overall FAIL
Specially his looks. Not a fan.
I would usually agree with this about 98.4% of the time.
However, I must say that (for me, at least) there are rare and random occasions that hit me by surprise where I'm like, "I can't figure out why I find CR attractive", usually when he's with his family, or visits kids in the hospital…these moments are fleeting as he inevitably does something else that reminds me why I don't usually like him.
But I can't deny his hot body, unfortunately…
DITTO!
his tackling is not as bad as other player's like De Jong!!!
some players tackle him coz they're envious! hello!!!
Who's looking at his boots? I'm fixed on his abductor muscle.
LOL! I agree!!! XDDDDD
well put
The entire Real team deserves a fail for those Purple Drank uniforms they wore. I'm hallucinating just looking at them.
are you joking? that colour looked soooo cool on them!!!
Yea but I much prefer the Men In Black away kit, now those are hot. I always half expect Ronaldo to put on shades and say "You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good'.
that's just there champions league away kit, but I agree I like the black la liga away kit