November 18th, 2010
Kickette Fail Files: Franck Ribery, Bayern Munich
A bit of a quandary for us today. While perusing the day’s images for inclusion in one of our many popular categories, a highly disturbed Kickette intern’s scream alerted us to the presence of this disturbing sight – Franck Ribery and his pants. (Image via bild)
She is now undergoing treatment for post traumatic stress disorder, but the rest of us hardened bishes have no time for such frivolity. Where does this image belong? Is it evidence for the prosecution in a FAIL FILE case? Is it a plea for clemency in a Dressed At Gunpoint post? Should it be tied to a stake and burned?
Much confusion abounded, but eventually our bravest staffer donned a hazmat suit, grabbed said photo with a pair of tongs and asserted that such undergarments deserved no mitigating circumstances. The Kickette Army will not tolerate such undergarment offences. Spurred on by her passion, we made a decision.
Soz, Franck. It’s a FAIL FILE for you.
NAME OF APPLICANT: Franck Ribery
POSITION/CLUB: Midfielder, Bayern Munich
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Removing clothing on a football pitch
CITED EVIDENCE: Photographic (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: Well Franck, we know that both you personally and the French NT as a unit have experienced ‘difficult’ times of late. In light of this, It would have been relatively easy for us to overlook your heinous offence on the basis that you may indeed have ‘Dressed At Gunpoint’; your wife Wahiba being perfectly justified in using force to ensure you wear pants that are repellent to all women.
Or perhaps it is some secret group penance for the NT’s recent antics; you guys do have form in this area, after all (left; Nasri). But close examination of the offending pants (as close as is possible without breaking out in hives, that is) has left us with no alternative. This is an EPIC FAIL. Please accept your award and this voucher for some new underwear.
It is our duty to ensure our soldier girls are not exposed to such horrors again.