October 11th, 2010
Kickette Fail Files: Joachim Loew, Germany
Joachim Loew. What happened next? (AP Photo/Daylife)
As a new section available for your reading pleasure, the Kickette Fail Files will regularly provide examples of footy-world folk, who awkwardly find themselves incapable of performing everyday, mundane tasks.
Whether it’s a player, a manager, a WAG or even a commentator, you can be sure that we’ll be sharing any and all events occurring in football that we deem embarrassing enough to qualify.
Therefore, for our debut feature, we are thrilled to offer you Joachim Loew.
NAME OF APPLICANT: Joachim Loew
POSITION/CLUB: Manager, German National Team
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Heading a football
CITED EVIDENCE: Photograph (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: Joachim, we have admired your work for a while now. The German WC campaign demonstrated both your talents as a tactician and your ability to motivate a young squad. But vigilance on the training field is a manager’s responsibility, in order to instil confidence in his players. The ball speeding towards your head in the above photo does not serve to instil this confidence.
We therefore have no option but to award you a giant, fat FAIL.