August 22nd, 2011
Kickette Fail Files: Peter Odemwingie, West Brom
That thigh muscle is only ever going to distract us from your horror barnet for so long, Peter. Images: Getty Images/Zimbio.
Even though there are a few of us in the Kickette office who abuse peroxide frequently enough to warrant threats of service revocation from our hairdressers, we don’t condone similar crimes by boys.
We feel that footballers have an obligation to maintain their hotness at all times and feel aggrieved when they do stuff – without even ruddy asking – things that compromise our ability to appreciate them.
Peter Odemwingie of West Bromwich Albion, can you hear us (left, sans bleach job)? Aside from the fact that we had the hots for you before you allowed your mates to get at you with the bleach, were you not fearful of such experimentation?
Had you not perused the literature on the matter and seen the alarming results of your predecessors meddling with things they just don’t understand? Did you not see what can happen if things get out of control?
Pete, if you grow a beard and bleach it, this is ovah. Understood?