October 14th, 2010
Kickette Fail Files: Wayne Rooney’s Ankle Situation
Misquoted or mistaken? Either way, evasive action will be necessary when the hairdryer approaches. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Remember last week, when Kiko Macheda was totally misquoted and apparently insulted team mate Wayne Rooney? You know how that turned out to be a complete and utter media fabrication in order to generate news and controversy where there was none?
Well, in light of this we will continue to be skeptical about any story involving an England NT member. But just in case Wayne was quoted correctly in today’s English newspapers, we’ll offer him a slot in our Fail Files. Tentatively.
NAME OF APPLICANT: Wayne Rooney
POSITION/CLUB: Striker, Manchester United & England NT
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Maintaining a peaceful & harmonious dressing room
CITED EVIDENCE: Newspaper reports
KICKETTE VERDICT: Wayne. Mate. Your manager, Sir Alex Ferguson is noted across the world for his strict disciplining of players. However, he is also well respected among his peers for protecting his boys from criticism. If you have not had an ankle injury, as you stated in the tunnel after Tuesday’s England game, we imagine that Ferguson was creating a smokescreen to help you after your recent erm… problems. You have just essentially blown that myth out of the water, making Fergie look a bit of a prat into the bargain.
Good luck with that, Waz. A massive, hairdryer shaped FAIL is heading directly towards you.