February 10th, 2012

Kickette Interview: Lance Parker Talked & Boy Did We Listen

Images courtesy of the man himself, @LanceAParker.

Footballer and male model, Lance Parker, is obviously cool with posing in his underwear.

Coincidentally, we are too.

Since he seemed down for our interview games and uncontrollable flirting tactics, we decided to spice up our Q&A style a bit. See below for more on our exclusive chat with this humble hottie.

Before we start, a bit of BG on this 26-year-old’s sporting career thus far: born/raised in Oklahoma, LP’s goalkeeping career began to take flight in uni, doing double playing duties at Missouri State University, Chicago Fire Premier and and the Colorado Rapids U23′s team in the USL Premier Development League. He signed and played for Chivas USA between 2008 – 2010, then did a year stint in Miami (at a division 2 club) before finally landing in Canada to play for FC Edmonton (North American Soccer League).

Whew! That was a lot of “real” news reportage.

Let’s continue…



From Being Coy In Front of the Camera to Going Commando on Demand-o:
“I never actually thought about modelling before since I had already started my professional soccer career. But I was discovered at the airport while en route to a game with my team. This lady approached me – I had my pants rolled up – and she goes, ‘Hey nice legs!’ and I thought, ‘alright creeper…thanks…’ until she explained her background and interest in helping me break into modelling. I really got to thinking about it, and figured I could use some supplemental income, so why not? We exchanged contact info on the spot and she said she’d be in touch.”

“Once I got back from traveling with the squad, she got in contact with me as promised. Eventually we went on some go-sees together and within a day I had booked some work. When I first started taking pics even with my clothes on, it was awkward. The more I did it, the more comfortable I felt in my own skin, though. Now when someone says, ‘strip down to your underwear,’ I’m ready to go.”

Don’t Confuse His Eagerness with Shamelessness, though:
“I would never do any full frontal nudity, although I have been nude before in shoots where there’s a shot of my butt or the side of me. I’m okay with my butt being shown but no frontal.”

Tip: *DO* Feed The Models
“Just this past offseason, when I was working for a Dutch company, I got flown out to Curacao and it was gorgeous there. We shot there for 12 hours the first day, 13 hours the next day. With long shoot days you’re just going, going, going – and I love to eat, so when you don’t get lunchtime and you only have time to grab a sandwich during wardrobe changes, that kinda sucks.”

How His Secret Side Gig Got Out:
“I did a pretty good job of keeping my modelling work a secret but within the past year, more and more pics started surfacing. A few of my team-mates actually found some pictures of me online and subtley gave me some flack for it but I figured it was gonna pass. A few days later, however, they thought it’d be funny to blow up some of the photos they uncovered and plaster them all around the locker room for the entire team to see (laughs). They got me good I guess.”

Why He’s Most Proud Of His Pearly Whites:
“Ever since I was little, I’ve had really bad luck with my teeth. I lost one of my front ones when I was five-years-old and the permanent tooth never grew in right. I’ve had several surgeries and braces twice to correct it and finally had to get a tooth implant. To this day I wear a mouthguard when I play because if that front tooth gets knocked out again it’ll ruin all the hard work, time and money I spent fixing it.”

He Has An Equal Number of Male & Female Admirers & Loves Them All The Same:
“I’m just really appreciative and happy that my work can be appreciated. Nothing really surprises me or makes me feel uncomfortable – I take every positive as a big compliment.”

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS (Plus One Bromance)

Lance Clarifies The Single/Taken Situation:
“I had a girlfriend when I was playing in LA (for Chivas USA) but then I got moved to Miami. We tried the long distance thing, but it didn’t work. Same thing happened again when I got moved to Cananda – didn’t work out. Dating is just one of those things that, because I might be bouncing around for awhile, I don’t have time to dedicate to a serious relationship. I still go out and date girls, but try not to let it get too serious.”

Listen up, Ladies!
“I like girls that are athletic, fit girls, that have good personalities and are really funny. I also appreciate an intelligent woman that can hold an interesting conversation. My ideal woman must like to dance – doesn’t matter what kind of moves she’s got because any kind I like. From grinding on the dance floor to two stepping at a country bar…”

Bromantic Brotherly Love:
“Usually we don’t get to choose who we get to room with when on the road for away games, but definitely last year my roommate, Daniel Antoniuk, was my bromance. We got along really well. No matter where we went or what we were doing we were having a blast.”



Boxers or Briefs?
“Boxer briefs. It gives you the support you need, but are still comfortable to wear around all day.”

Are You Type A or Type B?
“Part type A because I’m extremely independent. I don’t like to have to depend on others to do things for me when I’m capable of doing most everything on my own. I do my own laundry, cook and clean and am more of a neat freak, but not OCD. I’m also part type B in the sense that I’m pretty humble and I can be shy at times. Like when a girl approaches me, I enjoy that because it takes pressure off me.”

Lion King or Aladdin?
“Tough one…I’m a big fan of Aladdin because he’s always on some crazy adventure. I tend to root for the rags-to-riches story.”

Beer, Tequila Shots Or Vodka?
“Red bull & vodka because it keeps you energetic and it makes it a lot easier to get out on the dance floor and get to it.”

“I enjoy playing in both leagues. The MLS definitely has more of a following which is nice as a player, but then again there’s more money which can bring in more fans, better stadiums, etc. In terms of the NASL, you may not have all the amenities but you still have great coaching and talent just at a different level.”

Hair All There Or Completely Bare?
“Naturally, I’m a hairy guy, chest hair included, but for certain jobs that require one or the other, I might have to shave completely bear or at least trim it a bit.”

Cristiano Ronaldo or David Beckham?
“While Cristiano is very entertaining to watch, I have to go with Beckham. He has done so much for the sport of soccer here in America, and has brought its attention to so many people.”

Club Uniform or Modelling ‘Uniform?’
“Definitely more comfortable in my club uniform.”

Lights On or Off?
“Dimmed – it sets the mood better than having bright lights shining in your eyes, but you can still see what’s in front of you and you’re not left feeling around in the dark…although, that can be fun at times too…”

Who’s Hotter: Goalies Or Defenders?
“Goalies of course. The majority of women I know are attracted to taller and bigger guys. Plus we’re very good with our hands.”

Just Plain Good or Reeaaally Good?
“Extremely good.”



Q: Because of you, we’re seriously considering making a Kickette Calendar for 2013. Is this something you’d generously contribute your clothing-free services to?

A: Perhaps.

Q: Alright, let’s start smaller. Would you like to be our site’s official Cabana Boy this summer? It pays in compliments rather than cash or cheque.

A: [laughs] Sure. I accept both forms of payment.


Thanks again to LP for giving us a whole hour (yes, 60 minutes) to talk about his body, both on and off the pitch. Check out the charity Lance supports when you have a mo, Kickettes: The Fisher Center For Alzheimer’s Research. As he puts it, “they’re a great organization and range from developing new treatments and identifying causes of the disease to educating people on caregiving and prevention.” Visit www.ALZinfo.org for more info!

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33 Responses to “Kickette Interview: Lance Parker Talked & Boy Did We Listen”

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  3. Rusty says:

    I'm super-duper late on this, but I'm into Canadians again, and this guy counts as Canadian enough for my purposes. Holy good god.

  4. Lana says:

    Oh Dear Lord!!! Its too HOT in here… need to get out!!! God, how come I never heard of him before? That's it, my goal is to be MRS LANCE PARKER!!!!!! So girls… BACK OFF!!! He's MINE!!!!

  5. Dols says:

    Why have I not aware of his existence until now??!!! Thank you kickette for elightening me!
    I seriously think we ought to make Kickette calendar for 2013!
    We should have a showdown for who should me our Mr. Each month.

  6. Sophie says:

    He's ALMOST perfect! Love everything about him except for the open smile. Don't get me wrong, the boy is drop dead gorgeous, but the toothy smile makes him look a bit goofy. Nevertheless, my kegel muscles will still contract for him.

  7. Alexxx says:

    I want a FC Edmonton jersey because of him now…

  8. Meeka says:

    now i know what to do!

    1. Move to Edmonton
    2. Lose 25lbs!
    3. Gain some confidence.
    4. Trade in one of my two left feet for a right one.
    5. Play a sport.

    or just eat some Ben and Jerry's and reread this post… *sigh*

  9. Kat A. says:

    Brava, Kickette, brava!!!

  10. nayet21 says:

    He's gorgeous ;) And the interview was funny… Btw the fourth picture (lying on the bed) is my favorite he looks so good…

  11. xoWinnie says:

    brb, just drooled all over a white t-shirt…good heavens…

  12. daniel antoniuk says:

    Yo yo yo this is his bro mance buddy daniel antoniuk !!! pretty funny and cool article on my boy lance boogie. Just a nickname i came up with for him , cause well the dude likes to boogie, dance is what im saying . He doesnt hold backa nd it doesnt even matter if he is the only one out on the floor . He didnt get to mention that he knows tons of magic tricks !! easily captivate an audience where ever he is , at a bar , where ever. No david blain or owever you spell that guys name, but he does have some cool stuff that he could break the ice with when he first meets you , or when you first meet him. Funny kid, we had tons of laughs up there in Edmonton. Now Im playing on a different team and going to have to score on him !!! LOL good times. Lookout ladies, hes the real deal

  13. earidurt says:

    ………..There's an article? Sorry, must have missed it…was too busy drooling over this guy's incredible body and charming face. I'll read it after I pick my jaw up from off the floor.

  14. alessandra says:

    urnghhh, so much porn in this post! he does his own laundry, cooks, cleans; prefers DIMMED lights; prefers beckham over ronaldo, AND is good with his hands (not that i doubted him in the first place lol)?! urnnghhh, so much porn in this post guh.<3

  15. Jayy says:

    After this interview, me thinks he deserves a spot on Finest Five – IMMEDIATELY.

  16. Sharon says:

    Oh my!! He's lust worthy.

  17. x_X says:

    …………………………………………. I have the biggest smile on my face right now … from ear to ear …. interviews like that … are moments that you just want to say GOD BLESS AMERICA & GOD BLESS THE PARENTS THAT MADE HIIM!!! I wish we had video of it though …

    And that part of I'm good with my hands … 1st reaction was … o_O … Niiiiiceeee .. 2 seconds later … That is a typical "pick up line" that a GK would use … I'm goalkeeper … so you know what that means … I'm good with my hands …

  18. thelovehater says:

    Hello, lover! haha…ok after Hunter Gilstrap and Dan Kennedy…am officially calling it that I have a thing for GKs. What's that saying, "another one bites the dust"? haha…must look into this NASL now…

  19. IrishBlue says:

    He's tall, he's wet, he's good with his hands and he's ridiculously sexy. Kickette you know how to please your readers!

    So I take it from that he's not gay as previously mentioned on here?

  20. Alone- Brazil says:

    Thank Thank Thank MY God !

  21. Gladys says:

    Love him for his body…but also for "alright, creeper…thanks…"–hilarious. He seems freshingly un-creepy himself.

    I think you've found Cosmo's next bachelor award winner, Kickette. They shouldn't even bother with any other entries.

  22. Céline says:

    Hoo wooowww! HELLO GORGEOUS <3

  23. Lauren_BCN says:

    Outside is curently -25C but he is making me sweat :-) )))

  24. boston79 says:

    I'm in love with this guy. What a catch!!!

  25. rslkdl says:

    The shower… I forgot how to talk.

  26. Miss XOXO says:

    He is so hot…:-))

  27. Aisha says:

    Thank U thank U his hooooot

  28. Aisha says:

    Thank U i looooove him. , his hooooot

  29. aliciasha says:

    WOAH. Haven't read the article thoroughly, but these pictures plus "good with hands"? SOLD.