January 20th, 2011

Kickette Q&A: ‘Have They Ever?’

Image: FILIPPO MONTEFORTE/AFP/Getty Images. Thx for the spot, A!

Kickettes, do tell: are you familiar with the popular drinking game, ‘Never Have I Ever’?

Yeah, us neither.

But we’ve heard that it’s a good, drunken time, with folks learning more than their fair share of all-too-specific details about fellow party pals’ personal habits.

So we’ve heard.

Completely unrelated: That rumour about us, a suitcase full of Prada and several cute Italian immigration officers in Milan are completely false, btw.

By now you know that our brightest blogging moments are heavily inspired by alcohol.  Well, with the help of mimosas this morning, comes the Kickette reincarnation of the aforementioned anti-sobriety game. We’re asking* a host of the superfamoose to answer the question, Have you ever?

Not impressed? That’s okay, you’re probably correct in feeling a tad irritated about the lack of milk and coffee at our disposal this AM, paired with this cleverly-disguised link dump.

But Daniele De Rossi is partially nude, and this begs a few visually informative answers.

*Ed Note: we’re using the term ‘asking’ here loosely, natch.

- Daniele, have you ever considered pulling those shorts lower?
Duh! Thankfully this is an easy one, and one DDR can respond with a resounding ‘YES!’

‘Tis true: his unabashed display of his head-to-toe epidermis occurs on the reg and the main reason for our unrelenting, unbridled lust. Further proof can be seen here…with a front view here.

- Richard Dunne, have you ever contemplated the repercussions of skipping your mandatory court appearance?
Seems like it was too much to ask since the Aston Villa man now faces the prospects of police arrest. Don’t do the crime if you can’t even show up to feign interest in doing the time.

Spanish WAG Barcelona- Carles Puyol, have you ever tried deciphering what your girlfriend’s shirt says?
Our guess is no, as a mirror would be required.

- Frank Lampard, have you ever thought of seeking a new identity in the witness protection program?
If not, you should consider it, now that Katie Price is eager to seek her acrylic claws in your manflesh.

- Cristiano Ronaldo, have you ever spent a long enough period of time with your son to have the chance to change his nappies?
According to Cris, of course he does! He’s not fond of the butt wiping job, though. Of course not!

- Sylvie van der Vaart, have you ever lamented the hardships of being our uber-WAG?
If this were an actual interview, with proper fact checkers et al, we’d hone in on the true, from-the-throat essence of Mrs. VDV’s scoff at the question. She’s the gal who wants it all, remember? There’s no Brian Atwood pump too skyhigh, no Isabel Marant jacket too sparkle-y for this fierce Dutch fireball. FFS, this bish kicked the crap out of cancer, so living the WAG life is the easy part.

Rather, Sylvie believes in powering through the struggle, via the front rows at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in Germany. Two snaps sweetstuff.

Images: Getty Images Europe.

- Readers (Yes, you! Superfamoose is a made up word, you know) have you ever wondered what life as a footballer is really like?
The Offside Rules would like you to know its eerily akin to uni.

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14 Responses to “Kickette Q&A: ‘Have They Ever?’”

  1. ashmenon says:

    "I don't mind if you forget me" ? Which WAG buys a t-shirt that says that?! I thought the usual phrase was "you walk out on this and the claws come out, bitch." Her t-shirt sounds like something cheap you'd find here that has badly embroidered puppies saying "Always happy, always love you darling happy puppy" from Taiwan or someplace.

  2. Velli. says:

    I love this site very much, I really do. Just don't understand the constant Ronaldo bashing.

    • Iggy says:

      This site has become way too catty for me lately, and not just with Ronaldo, but with wags and players as well. Not cute.
      Or maybe it always was, and I've just now come to seen it. Ugh anyway.

  3. Ana says:

    Surely, Price's interest has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact Lampard's ex is dating Price's ex, now would it? :)

    Am I the only one ashamed that this tidbit of knowledge occupies a small dark recess of my brain? I feel stupider just knowing that. :)

  4. diana says:

    Damn you are hotttt Daniele

  5. sarah says:

    Gosh Katie, first a date with Adam Johnson now Frank Lampard? So desperate to be a WAG it's unbelievable, even Danielle Lloyd (who must have thrown herself at every Tottenham player before she settled down with Jamie O'Hara) points at her and laughs. She's a control freak who gets married for OK deals. The only reason she chucked Alex was because he was becoming more famous and more likeable than she was. She's a control freak chav with issues. Would anyone really let her rule their life? She treated all her men like dogs and she doesn't realise that she's the dog. Ugh, no. Just stay with Christine, Frank. She's so much more classier than Katie gutter press Price.

  6. @Di_Elle says:

    and DDR did it yesterday evening too… no photo proofs, but a vid… http://video.gazzetta.it/calcio-roma-festeggia-de…

    (around minute 0:40, while Marco Borriello (and his awful rock-punk hair – is talking …)

    oh and yes, in the very beginning, some French skin too… Philippe :D

  7. DeeRoma says:

    It is so good to see DDR getting some love here. He's is my favorite and I just can't stop myself from adoring him.:)

  8. strawberrysexcapade says:

    Daniele De Rossi. Hot. Yes. Make no mistake. However, is that a teletubbies tattoo? Uh, I think he just cockblocked himself. Can we pitch in kickettes and pay for tattoo removal or coverup?

    • Laura says:

      He got this tattoo to honor his daughter. And yes, he is really hot :)

    • jen says:

      ohhhhh, THAT's what that tattoo is of?? i've always wondered. homie is so beautiful and is def my major footie crush but someone needs to keep him far, far away from the tattoo parlor! he has the worst taste in tattoos ever!

  9. laz says:

    A couple of comments in an (pro madrid paper) interview and now ronaldo is father of the year??

    I'm not saying he was ever deadbeat but after the many pics of him with his gf (esp over xmas), the lack of pics of him out and about with his son (well, none as of writing) but a relative number of son with grandmother, you still have to wonder how much time ronaldo is spending with junior. It is certainly clear from this interview from the answers given that ronaldo is partly talking about child now because he is trying to stop the (rightful) bad press he's been getting (esp since xmas) that he is a bad parent whom rarely does the parent thing, and good news for him is that everyone has bought this new line as non absent dotting dad, so i suppose this interview was a big success for him so perhaps i shouldn't be faulting him!

    (I still think that junior lives with grandmother in portugal and only visits daddy when he has spare time (and is not fawning over a certain model) so they probably don't spend much time together, esp after ronaldo quoted his mothers quirky story on the baby rather than his own (like he hasn't had enough time with him to witness his own 'quirky' story). I hope that if nothing else the little time that ronaldo is spending with his son is quality time at the very least and that he's just a late bloomer on the concepts of good childcare)

    and katie price still has not gotton locked up in the 'burning up ones eyes and ears' prison yet?

  10. @AgnesWonka says:

    I want Carles Puyol's girlfriend t-shirt!!!!!!!!

    mmmmm I don't see CR changing nappies…..sorry :S

  11. Whitney Hot4Spurs says:

    It would be killer if Kickette could actually do an interview with Sylvie VDV!